PART 5 // chapter 1-1

[모나리자]

두니아와 그녀의 어머니와의 운명적인 면담이 있은 다음 날 아침, 표트르 페트로비치는 냉정한 영향을 받았다. 몹시 불쾌했지만, 그는 전날만 해도 환상적이고 믿을 수 없을 것 같았던 것을 기억할 수 없는 사실로 받아들이도록 조금씩 강요받았다. 상처받은 허영심의 검은 뱀이 밤새도록 그의 심장을 갉아먹었다. 침대에서 일어나자마자 표트르 페트로비치는 즉시 거울을 들여다보았다. 그는 황달이 있는 게 아닐까 두려웠다.

하지만 그의 건강은 지금까지는 아무런 문제가 없어 보였고, 최근에 살찐 고상하고 맑은 얼굴을 보고, 표트르 페트로비치는 잠시나마 다른 신부를 찾을 수 있을 것이라는 확신에 긍정적으로 위안을 받았다. 아마도 더 나은 신부를 찾을 수도 있을 것이다. 하지만 현재의 처지를 다시 깨닫고, 그는 돌아서서 힘차게 침을 뱉었고, 그로 인해 그가 머물고 있던 젊은 친구인 안드레이 세묘노비치 레베지아트니코프는 비꼬는 듯한 미소를 지었다.

표트르 페트로비치는 그 미소를 알아차리고, 즉시 젊은 친구의 계정에 그것을 적었습니다. 그는 최근에 그에게 상당히 많은 점수를 적었습니다. 그는 어제 인터뷰 결과를 안드레이 세묘노비치에게 말하지 말았어야 했다는 것을 깨달았을 때 그의 분노는 두 배로 커졌습니다. 그것은 그가 충동성과 과민함으로 인해 성미에서 저지른 두 번째 실수였습니다... 게다가 그날 아침 내내 불쾌한 일이 계속되었습니다.

그는 상원에서 소송을 제기하는 데도 걸림돌이 있다는 것을 알게 되었습니다. 그는 특히 다가오는 결혼을 고려하여 인수되었고 자신의 비용으로 다시 장식되고 있는 아파트의 소유자에게 화가 났습니다. 부유한 독일 상인인 그 소유자는 방금 서명한 계약을 위반하는 생각을 하지 않았고 표트르 페트로비치가 사실상 다시 장식된 아파트를 그에게 돌려줄 것이라는 사실에도 불구하고 전액 몰수금을 주장했습니다.

마찬가지로 실내장식업자들은 아직 아파트로 옮기지 않은 가구를 위해 지불한 할부금 중 단 한 루블도 돌려주기를 거부했습니다. "가구 때문에 결혼해야 하나요?" 표트르 페트로비치는 이를 갈았고 동시에 다시 한번 절박한 희망이 번쩍 들었습니다. "그 모든 것이 정말 돌이킬 수 없이 끝날 수 있을까요?

다시 노력해도 소용없을까요?" 두니아에 대한 생각이 그의 가슴을 꿰뚫는 듯한 고통을 보냈습니다. 그는 그 순간 괴로움을 견뎌냈고, 라스콜니코프를 즉시 죽일 수 있었다면 표트르 페트로비치는 즉시 그 소원을 말했을 것입니다.

"나도 그들에게 돈을 주지 않은 게 실수였어." 그는 낙담한 채로 레베지아트니코프의 방으로 돌아가면서 생각했습니다. "그리고 왜 내가 이렇게 유대인이었을까? 거짓된 절약이었지! 나는 그들을 한 푼도 없이 내버려두어 그들이 나를 그들의 신으로 여기고 그들을 바라보게 하려고 했어! 으악! 내가 그들에게 혼수품과 선물, 장신구, 화장대, 보석, 재료, 그리고 Knopp's와 영국 상점에서 나온 모든 종류의 쓰레기에 1,500루블을 썼더라면, 내 입장은 더 나아졌을 것이고... 더 강해졌을 거야! 그들은 나를 그렇게 쉽게 거절할 수 없었을 거야!

그들은 만약 헤어지면 돈과 선물을 돌려줘야 한다고 느낄 종류의 사람들이야; 그리고 그들은 그것을 하기 힘들 거야! 그리고 그들의 양심은 그들을 찔렀을 거야: 지금까지 그렇게 관대하고 섬세했던 사람을 어떻게 해고할 수 있니?... 흠! 나는 실수를 했어." 그리고 다시 이를 갈며 표트르 페트로비치는 자신을 바보라고 불렀다—

물론 큰 소리로 말하지는 않았다. 그는 집으로 돌아갔고, 전보다 두 배나 더 짜증이 나고 화가 났다.

카테리나 이바노브나의 장례식 만찬을 준비하는 모습이 지나가면서 그의 호기심을 자극했다. 그는 전날에 그 소식을 들었고, 사실 초대를 받았다고 생각했지만, 자신의 걱정에 몰두해 주의를 기울이지 않았다. 카테리나 이바노브나가 묘지에 있는 동안 식탁을 차리는 데 바빴던 리페베흐셀 부인에게 물어보니, 대접이 대단할 것이라고 하고, 모든 하숙인이 초대를 받았으며, 그 중에는 죽은 사람을 모르는 사람도 있었고, 안드레이 세묘노비치 레베지아트니코프조차도 카테리나 이바노브나와 이전에 다툰 적이 있음에도 불구하고 초대를 받았으며, 표트르 페트로비치는 초대를 받았을 뿐만 아니라 하숙인 중에서 가장 중요한 사람이기 때문에 간절히 기대하고 있었다.

아말리아 이바노브나 자신도 최근의 불쾌한 일에도 불구하고 매우 예의 바르게 초대를 받았기 때문에 그녀는 준비에 매우 바빴고 준비에 긍정적인 즐거움을 느꼈다. 그녀는 더욱이 9등신 차림으로 새 검은색 실크로 차려입었고, 그녀는 그것을 자랑스러워했다. 이 모든 것이 표트르 페트로비치에게 아이디어를 떠올리게 했고 그는 자신의 방, 아니 레베지아트니코프의 방으로, 다소 생각에 잠긴 채로 들어갔다. 그는 라스콜니코프가 손님 중 한 명이 될 것이라는 것을 알게 되었다.

안드레이 세묘노비치는 오전 내내 집에 있었다. 이 신사에 대한 표트르 페트로비치의 태도는 이상했지만, 어쩌면 자연스러운 것이었다. 표트르 페트로비치는 그가 그와 함께 머물기 위해 온 날부터 그를 멸시하고 미워했고 동시에 다소 두려워하는 듯했다. 그는 단순히 검소함 때문에 상트페테르부르크에 도착했을 때 그와 함께 머물지 않았지만, 그것이 아마도 그의 주된 목표였을 것이다.

그는 한때 자신의 보호자였던 안드레이 세묘노비치가 지방에서 전설이 된 특정 흥미로운 서클에서 중요한 역할을 하는 주요 젊은 진보주의자라는 이야기를 들었다. 그것은 표트르 페트로비치에게 깊은 인상을 남겼다. 모든 사람을 멸시하고 모든 사람을 드러내는 이 강력한 전지전능한 집단은 그에게 오랫동안 독특하지만 매우 모호한 경각심을 불러일으켰습니다.

물론 그는 그들이 의미하는 바에 대한 대략적인 개념조차 형성할 수 없었습니다. 그는 모든 사람과 마찬가지로 특히 상트페테르부르크에 진보주의자, 허무주의자 등이 있다는 말을 들었고, 많은 사람들처럼 그는 그 말의 의미를 터무니없이 과장하고 왜곡했습니다. 수년 동안 그가 무엇보다도 두려워했던 것이 드러나고 있었고, 이것이 상트페테르부르크로 사업을 옮기는 생각에 그가 계속 불안해하는 주된 이유였습니다.

그는 어린아이들이 때때로 공황 상태에 빠지기 때문에 이것을 두려워했습니다. 몇 년 전, 그가 막 자신의 경력을 시작했을 때, 그는 자신의 후원자였던 지방의 다소 중요한 인물들이 잔인하게 드러난 두 가지 사건을 접했습니다. 한 사례는 공격을 받은 사람에 대한 큰 스캔들로 끝났고 다른 사례는 거의 심각한 문제로 끝났습니다. 이런 이유로 표트르 페트로비치는 상트페테르부르크에 도착하자마자 이 주제를 다루고, 필요하다면 "우리 젊은 세대"의 호의를 구함으로써 돌발 사태를 예상하고자 했습니다.

그는 이를 위해 안드레이 세묘노비치에게 의지했고, 라스콜니코프를 방문하기 전에 몇 가지 최신 문구를 습득하는 데 성공했습니다. 그는 곧 안드레이 세묘노비치가 진부한 바보라는 것을 알게 되었지만, 표트르 페트로비치를 안심시키지는 못했습니다. 그가 모든 진보주의자들이 자신처럼 바보라고 확신했더라도

그의 불안은 가라앉지 않았을 것입니다.

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6671p

CHAPTER I

The morning that followed the fateful interview with Dounia and her mother brought sobering influences to bear on Pyotr Petrovitch. Intensely unpleasant as it was, he was forced little by little to accept as a fact beyond recall what had seemed to him only the day before fantastic and incredible. The black snake of wounded vanity had been gnawing at his heart all night. When he got out of bed, Pyotr Petrovitch immediately looked in the looking-glass. He was afraid that he had jaundice.

However his health seemed unimpaired so far, and looking at his noble, clear-skinned countenance which had grown fattish of late, Pyotr Petrovitch for an instant was positively comforted in the conviction that he would find another bride and, perhaps, even a better one. But coming back to the sense of his present position, he turned aside and spat vigorously, which excited a sarcastic smile in Andrey Semyonovitch Lebeziatnikov, the young friend with whom he was staying.

That smile Pyotr Petrovitch noticed, and at once set it down against his young friend’s account. He had set down a good many points against him of late. His anger was redoubled when he reflected that he ought not to have told Andrey Semyonovitch about the result of yesterday’s interview. That was the second mistake he had made in temper, through impulsiveness and irritability.... Moreover, all that morning one unpleasantness followed another.

He even found a hitch awaiting him in his legal case in the senate. He was particularly irritated by the owner of the flat which had been taken in view of his approaching marriage and was being redecorated at his own expense; the owner, a rich German tradesman, would not entertain the idea of breaking the contract which had just been signed and insisted on the full forfeit money, though Pyotr Petrovitch would be giving him back the flat practically redecorated.

In the same way the upholsterers refused to return a single rouble of the instalment paid for the furniture purchased but not yet removed to the flat. “Am I to get married simply for the sake of the furniture?” Pyotr Petrovitch ground his teeth and at the same time once more he had a gleam of desperate hope. “Can all that be really so irrevocably over?

Is it no use to make another effort?” The thought of Dounia sent a voluptuous pang through his heart. He endured anguish at that moment, and if it had been possible to slay Raskolnikov instantly by wishing it, Pyotr Petrovitch would promptly have uttered the wish.

“It was my mistake, too, not to have given them money,” he thought, as he returned dejectedly to Lebeziatnikov’s room, “and why on earth was I such a Jew? It was false economy! I meant to keep them without a penny so that they should turn to me as their providence, and look at them! foo! If I’d spent some fifteen hundred roubles on them for the trousseau and presents, on knick-knacks, dressing-cases, jewellery, materials, and all that sort of trash from Knopp’s and the English shop, my position would have been better and... stronger! They could not have refused me so easily!

They are the sort of people that would feel bound to return money and presents if they broke it off; and they would find it hard to do it! And their conscience would prick them: how can we dismiss a man who has hitherto been so generous and delicate?.... H’m! I’ve made a blunder.” And grinding his teeth again, Pyotr Petrovitch called himself a fool—

but not aloud, of course. He returned home, twice as irritated and angry as before.

The preparations for the funeral dinner at Katerina Ivanovna’s excited his curiosity as he passed. He had heard about it the day before; he fancied, indeed, that he had been invited, but absorbed in his own cares he had paid no attention. Inquiring of Madame Lippevechsel who was busy laying the table while Katerina Ivanovna was away at the cemetery, he heard that the entertainment was to be a great affair, that all the lodgers had been invited, among them some who had not known the dead man, that even Andrey Semyonovitch Lebeziatnikov was invited in spite of his previous quarrel with Katerina Ivanovna, that he, Pyotr Petrovitch, was not only invited, but was eagerly expected as he was the most important of the lodgers.

Amalia Ivanovna herself had been invited with great ceremony in spite of the recent unpleasantness, and so she was very busy with preparations and was taking a positive pleasure in them; she was moreover dressed up to the nines, all in new black silk, and she was proud of it. All this suggested an idea to Pyotr Petrovitch and he went into his room, or rather Lebeziatnikov’s, somewhat thoughtful. He had learnt that Raskolnikov was to be one of the guests.

Andrey Semyonovitch had been at home all the morning. The attitude of Pyotr Petrovitch to this gentleman was strange, though perhaps natural. Pyotr Petrovitch had despised and hated him from the day he came to stay with him and at the same time he seemed somewhat afraid of him. He had not come to stay with him on his arrival in Petersburg simply from parsimony, though that had been perhaps his chief object.

He had heard of Andrey Semyonovitch, who had once been his ward, as a leading young progressive who was taking an important part in certain interesting circles, the doings of which were a legend in the provinces. It had impressed Pyotr Petrovitch. These powerful omniscient circles who despised everyone and showed everyone up had long inspired in him a peculiar but quite vague alarm.

He had not, of course, been able to form even an approximate notion of what they meant. He, like everyone, had heard that there were, especially in Petersburg, progressives of some sort, nihilists and so on, and, like many people, he exaggerated and distorted the significance of those words to an absurd degree. What for many years past he had feared more than anything was being shown up and this was the chief ground for his continual uneasiness at the thought of transferring his business to Petersburg.

He was afraid of this as little children are sometimes panic-stricken. Some years before, when he was just entering on his own career, he had come upon two cases in which rather important personages in the province, patrons of his, had been cruelly shown up. One instance had ended in great scandal for the person attacked and the other had very nearly ended in serious trouble. For this reason Pyotr Petrovitch intended to go into the subject as soon as he reached Petersburg and, if necessary, to anticipate contingencies by seeking the favour of “our younger generation.”

He relied on Andrey Semyonovitch for this and before his visit to Raskolnikov he had succeeded in picking up some current phrases. He soon discovered that Andrey Semyonovitch was a commonplace simpleton, but that by no means reassured Pyotr Petrovitch. Even if he had been certain that all the progressives were fools like him, it

would not have allayed his uneasiness.