PART 5 // chapter 1-4

[모나리자]

당신은 그녀가 어떤 인물인지

모르겠어요! 그녀가 최근에 책을 읽고 빌리는 것을 완전히 포기한 것만이 유감입니다. 저는 그녀에게 책을 빌려주곤 했습니다. 또한 항의에 대한 모든 에너지와 결의에도 불구하고(그녀는 이미 한 번 보여준 적이 있지만) 자립심이 거의 없고, 말하자면 독립심이 거의 없어서 특정 편견과 어리석은 생각에서 벗어날 수 없습니다. 하지만 그녀는 예를 들어 손에 키스하는 것에 대한 몇 가지 질문을 철저히 이해합니다. 즉, 남자가 그녀의 손에 키스하는 것은 불평등의 표시이기 때문에 여성에게 모욕이라는 것입니다.

우리는 그것에 대해 토론했고 나는 그녀에게 그것을 설명했습니다. 그녀는 프랑스의 노동자 협회에 대한 설명도 주의 깊게 들었습니다. 이제 나는 미래 사회에서 방에 들어오는 것에 대한 질문을 설명하고 있습니다." "그리고 그게 뭐예요, 기도해?" "우리는 최근에 이 문제에 대해 토론을 했습니다. 커뮤니티 구성원이 남성이든 여성이든 언제든지 다른 구성원의 방에 들어갈 권리가 있는가... 그리고 우리는 그가 그럴 권리가 있다고 결정했습니다!" "불편한 순간일 수도 있겠네요, 허허!" 레베지아트니코프는 정말 화가 났습니다. "당신은 항상 불쾌한 것을 생각하고 있군요." 그는 혐오감을 느끼며 외쳤습니다.

"트푸! 제가 우리 시스템을 설명할 때 개인 정보 보호 문제를 너무 일찍 언급해서 얼마나 화가 나는지! 당신 같은 사람들에게는 항상 걸림돌이 됩니다. 그들은 이해하기도 전에 그것을 조롱거리로 만듭니다. 그리고 그들은 그것을 얼마나 자랑스러워하는지요! 트푸! 저는 초보자가 시스템에 대한 확고한 믿음을 갖기 전까지는 그 질문에 접근해서는 안 된다고 종종 주장해 왔습니다. 그리고 제발, 말해 보세요, 당신은 심지어

변기통에서 무엇이 그렇게 부끄럽다고 생각하십니까? 저는 당신이 좋아하는 변기통을 청소할 준비가 된 첫 번째 사람이 되어야 합니다.

그리고 그것은 자기 희생의 문제가 아니라, 그것은 단순히 일, 명예롭고 유용한 일이며, 다른 어떤 일과 마찬가지로 좋고 라파엘과 푸쉬킨의 일보다 훨씬 더 낫습니다. 왜냐하면 그것이 더 유용하기 때문입니다." "그리고 더 명예롭고, 더 명예롭고, 헤헤헤!" "더 명예롭다는 말은 무슨 뜻입니까? 저는 그런 표현이 인간 활동을 설명하는 데 쓰일 수 있다고 생각하지 않습니다. '더 명예롭다', '더 고귀하다'—이 모든 것은 제가 거부하는 고풍스러운 편견입니다. 인류에게 유용한 모든 것은 명예롭습니다. 저는 한 단어만 이해합니다. 유용하다는 말입니다! 아무리 웃어도 괜찮습니다, 하지만 그게 다입니다!" 표트르 페트로비치가 마음껏 웃었습니다.

그는 돈을 세는 것을 끝내고 치우고 있었습니다. 하지만 그가 테이블에 남겨둔 몇 가지 메모. "오물통 문제"는 이미 그들 사이에서 논쟁의 대상이 되었습니다. 터무니없는 것은 그것이 레베지아트니코프를 정말 화나게 했고, 루진을 즐겁게 했으며, 그 순간 그는 특히 그의 젊은 친구를 화나게 하고 싶었다는 것입니다. "어제의 불운 때문에 당신이 그렇게 기분이 나쁘고 성가신 거야." 레베지아트니코프가 갑자기 말했습니다. 그는 "독립성"과 "항의"에도 불구하고 표트르 페트로비치에 반대하지 않고 여전히 그에게 예전처럼 어느 정도 예의 바르게 행동했습니다.

"이걸 말해보는 게 낫겠어." 표트르 페트로비치가 거만하게 불쾌해하며 말을 가로채며 말했습니다. "그 젊은이에게 잠깐 들어와 달라고 부탁할 수 있어? 다들

묘지에서 돌아온 것 같아... 발소리가 들렸어... 그 젊은이를 보고 싶어." "뭐 때문에?" 레베지아트니코프가 놀라서 물었습니다. "아, 그러고 싶어. 저는 오늘 또는 내일 여기를 떠나기 때문에 그녀에게 ...에 대해 이야기하고 싶었습니다. 하지만 면접 중에는 참석할 수 있습니다. 실제로 참석하는 것이 좋습니다.

"당신이 무엇을 상상할지 알 수 없으니까요." "아무것도 상상하지 않을 겁니다. 그냥 물어봤을 뿐이고, 그녀에게 할 말이 있다면 그녀를 부르는 것보다 쉬운 일은 없습니다. 바로 갈게요. 방해가 되지 않을 거라고 확신할 수 있을 거예요." 5분 후 레베지아트니코프가 소냐와 함께 들어왔습니다. 그녀는 평소처럼 매우 놀라서 수줍어하며 들어왔습니다. 그녀는 그런 상황에서는 항상 수줍어했고 항상 새로운 사람을 두려워했습니다. 그녀는 어렸을 때부터 그랬고 지금은 더욱 그렇습니다... 표트르 페트로비치는 그녀를 "공손하고 상냥하게" 맞이했지만, 그녀처럼 젊고 흥미로운 사람을 대하는 데 있어서는 존경스럽고 무게 있는 남자에게 어울리는 농담조의 친밀함이 어느 정도 느껴졌습니다.

그는 서둘러 그녀를 "안심"시키고 그녀를 식탁에 마주 앉혔습니다. 소냐는 앉아서 주변을 둘러보았다.레베지아트니코프, 테이블에 놓인 노트, 그리고 다시 표트르 페트로비치를 보았고 그녀의 시선은 그에게 고정되어 있었다.레베지아트니코프는 문으로 향하고 있었다.표트르 페트로비치는 소냐에게 앉아 있으라고 손짓하고 레베지아트니코프를 막았다.“라스콜니코프가 거기에 있어? 왔어?”그는 속삭이듯 물었다.“라스콜니코프? 응. 왜? 응, 거기 있어. 방금 들어온 걸 봤어... 왜?”

“음, 특히 우리와 함께 있어 주시고 이... 젊은 여자와 나를 혼자 두지 말아 주시길 간청드립니다. 그녀와 몇 마디만 하고 싶지만, 무슨 일이 일어날지는 신만이 압니다. 라스콜니코프가 아무 말도 반복하는 건 원치 않습니다.... 내 말 이해하시죠?”“알겠습니다!”레베지아트니코프는 요점을 파악했다.

“네, 맞아요.... 물론, 개인적으로는 당신이 불안해할 이유가 없다고 확신하지만... 그래도 맞아요. 물론 저는 머물 거예요. 저는 여기 창문에 서서 당신을 방해하지 않을 거예요... 당신이 옳다고 생각해요..." 표트르 페트로비치는 소파로 돌아와 소냐 맞은편에 앉았고, 그녀를 주의 깊게 바라보며 매우 위엄 있고 심지어는 엄숙한 표정을 지었다. "실수하지 마세요, 부인."

소냐는 당혹감에 압도되었다. "우선, 소피아 세묘노브나, 당신의 존경하는 엄마에게 제 변명을 해 주시겠어요... 그렇죠? 카테리나 이바노브나는 당신에게 어머니 역할을 하는 거예요?" 표트르 페트로비치는 매우 위엄 있게 말을 시작했지만, 상냥하게 말했다. 그의 의도가 우호적이라는 것은 분명했다.

"그렇죠, 네. 어머니 역할을 하는 거예요." 소냐가 소심하고 서둘러 대답했다. "그럼 그녀에게 사과해 주시겠어요? 불가피한 상황 때문에 저는 자리를 비워야 했고, 당신 엄마의 친절한 초대에도 불구하고 저녁 식사에 참석하지 못할 거예요." “그렇습니다... 저는 그녀에게 즉시 말하겠습니다.” 그리고 소냐는 급히 자리에서 일어났습니다.

------------------------------------------------------------

6807p

You don’t

know what a character she is! I am only sorry that of late she has quite given up reading and borrowing books. I used to lend them to her. I am sorry, too, that with all the energy and resolution in protesting—which she has already shown once—she has little self-reliance, little, so to say, independence, so as to break free from certain prejudices and certain foolish ideas. Yet she thoroughly understands some questions, for instance about kissing of hands, that is, that it’s an insult to a woman for a man to kiss her hand, because it’s a sign of inequality.

We had a debate about it and I described it to her. She listened attentively to an account of the workmen’s associations in France, too. Now I am explaining the question of coming into the room in the future society.” “And what’s that, pray?” “We had a debate lately on the question: Has a member of the community the right to enter another member’s room, whether man or woman, at any time... and we decided that he has!” “It might be at an inconvenient moment, he-he!” Lebeziatnikov was really angry. “You are always thinking of something unpleasant,” he cried with aversion.

“Tfoo! How vexed I am that when I was expounding our system, I referred prematurely to the question of personal privacy! It’s always a stumbling-block to people like you, they turn it into ridicule before they understand it. And how proud they are of it, too! Tfoo! I’ve often maintained that that question should not be approached by a novice till he has a firm faith in the system. And tell me, please, what do you find so shameful even

in cesspools? I should be the first to be ready to clean out any cesspool you like.

And it’s not a question of self-sacrifice, it’s simply work, honourable, useful work which is as good as any other and much better than the work of a Raphael and a Pushkin, because it is more useful.” “And more honourable, more honourable, he-he-he!” “What do you mean by ‘more honourable’? I don’t understand such expressions to describe human activity. ‘More honourable,’ ‘nobler’—all those are old-fashioned prejudices which I reject. Everything which is of use to mankind is honourable. I only understand one word: useful! You can snigger as much as you like, but that’s so!” Pyotr Petrovitch laughed heartily.

He had finished counting the money and was putting it away. But some of the notes he left on the table. The “cesspool question” had already been a subject of dispute between them. What was absurd was that it made Lebeziatnikov really angry, while it amused Luzhin and at that moment he particularly wanted to anger his young friend. “It’s your ill-luck yesterday that makes you so ill-humoured and annoying,” blurted out Lebeziatnikov, who in spite of his “independence” and his “protests” did not venture to oppose Pyotr Petrovitch and still behaved to him with some of the respect habitual in earlier years.

“You’d better tell me this,” Pyotr Petrovitch interrupted with haughty displeasure, “can you... or rather are you really friendly enough with that young person to ask her to step in here for a minute? I think they’ve all come

back from the cemetery... I heard the sound of steps... I want to see her, that young person.” “What for?” Lebeziatnikov asked with surprise. “Oh, I want to. I am leaving here to-day or to-morrow and therefore I wanted to speak to her about... However, you may be present during the interview. It’s better you should be, indeed.

For there’s no knowing what you might imagine.” “I shan’t imagine anything. I only asked and, if you’ve anything to say to her, nothing is easier than to call her in. I’ll go directly and you may be sure I won’t be in your way.” Five minutes later Lebeziatnikov came in with Sonia. She came in very much surprised and overcome with shyness as usual. She was always shy in such circumstances and was always afraid of new people, she had been as a child and was even more so now.... Pyotr Petrovitch met her “politely and affably,” but with a certain shade of bantering familiarity which in his opinion was suitable for a man of his respectability and weight in dealing with a creature so young and so interesting as she.

He hastened to “reassure” her and made her sit down facing him at the table. Sonia sat down, looked about her—at Lebeziatnikov, at the notes lying on the table and then again at Pyotr Petrovitch and her eyes remained riveted on him. Lebeziatnikov was moving to the door. Pyotr Petrovitch signed to Sonia to remain seated and stopped Lebeziatnikov. “Is Raskolnikov in there? Has he come?” he asked him in a whisper. “Raskolnikov? Yes. Why? Yes, he is there. I saw him just come in.... Why?”

“Well, I particularly beg you to remain here with us and not to leave me alone with this... young woman. I only want a few words with her, but God knows what they may make of it. I shouldn’t like Raskolnikov to repeat anything.... You understand what I mean?” “I understand!” Lebeziatnikov saw the point.

“Yes, you are right.... Of course, I am convinced personally that you have no reason to be uneasy, but... still, you are right. Certainly I’ll stay. I’ll stand here at the window and not be in your way... I think you are right...” Pyotr Petrovitch returned to the sofa, sat down opposite Sonia, looked attentively at her and assumed an extremely dignified, even severe expression‎, as much as to say, “don’t you make any mistake, madam.”

Sonia was overwhelmed with embarrassment. “In the first place, Sofya Semyonovna, will you make my excuses to your respected mamma.... That’s right, isn’t it? Katerina Ivanovna stands in the place of a mother to you?” Pyotr Petrovitch began with great dignity, though affably. It was evident that his intentions were friendly.

“Quite so, yes; the place of a mother,” Sonia answered, timidly and hurriedly. “Then will you make my apologies to her? Through inevitable circumstances I am forced to be absent and shall not be at the dinner in spite of your mamma’s kind invitation.” “Yes... I’ll tell her... at once.” And Sonia hastily jumped up from her seat.