PART I // chapter 3-3

[모나리자]

그는 친절한 사람이고 당신 아버지의 친구이기도 했습니다. 하지만 그에게 연금을 받을 권리를 주었기 때문에 빚이 갚힐 때까지 기다려야 했고, 그것도 막 끝났기 때문에 이제까지 당신에게 아무것도 보낼 수 없었습니다. 하지만 지금은 신의 감사로

더 많은 것을 보낼 수 있을 것 같습니다. 사실 우리는 지금 우리의 행운을 축하할 수 있습니다. 서둘러 알려드리겠습니다. 우선, 친애하는 로디아, 당신의 여동생이 지난 6주 동안 나와 함께 살았고 앞으로도 헤어지지 않을 거라고 생각했나요?

신의 감사로 그녀의 고통은 끝났지만, 모든 것을 순서대로 말씀드리겠습니다. 그러면 모든 일이 어떻게 일어났는지, 그리고 지금까지 우리가 당신에게 숨긴 모든 것을 알 수 있을 것입니다. 두 달 전에 당신이 나에게 편지를 써서 두니아가 스비드리그릴로프 집에서 참아야 할 일이 많다고 들었을 때, 당신이 그 편지를 쓰고 나에게 그 모든 것을 말해 달라고 부탁했을 때—내가 당신에게 뭐라고 대답할 수 있었겠어요? 내가 당신에게 모든 진실을 썼다면, 당신은 모든 것을 토하고 우리에게 왔을 겁니다. 비록 당신이 걸어가야 할지라도요. 나는 당신의 성격과 감정을 알고 있고, 당신은 당신의 누이가 모욕을 당하는 것을 허용하지 않을 테니까요.

나도 절망했지만, 어떻게 할 수 있었겠어요? 게다가, 그때는 나 자신도 모든 진실을 몰랐어요. 모든 것을 어렵게 만든 것은 두니아가 그들의 가족에서 가정교사로 일할 때 월급의 일부를 매달 공제한다는 조건으로 선불로 100루블을 받았기 때문에 빚을 갚지 않고는 상황을 바꿀 수 없었다는 거예요. 이 금액(이제 모든 것을 설명할 수 있을 거야, 내 소중한 로디아)은 주로 너에게 60루블을 보내기 위해 받은 거야. 그때 너에게 몹시 필요했고 작년에 우리에게서 받은 돈이야.

그때 우리는 너를 속여서 이 돈이 두니아의 저축에서 나왔다고 썼지만 사실이 아니었고, 이제 나는 그 모든 것을 너에게 말해주는데, 다행히도 상황이 갑자기 나아졌고 두니아가 너를 얼마나 사랑하는지, 그리고

그녀가 얼마나 마음이 따뜻한지 네가 알 수 있게 되었으니까.

사실 처음에 스비드리가일로프 씨는 그녀를 매우 무례하게 대했고 식탁에서 무례하고 조롱하는 말을 하곤 했어... 하지만 나는 그 모든 고통스러운 세부 사항을 말하고 싶지 않아. 이제 모든 것이 끝났을 때 네가 쓸데없이 걱정하게 하지 않도록 말이야. 간단히 말해서, 마르파 페트로브나, 스비드리가일로프 씨의 아내, 그리고 집안의 모든 사람들의 친절하고 관대한 행동에도 불구하고, 두니아는 매우 힘든 시간을 보냈습니다. 특히 스비드리가일로프 씨가 옛날의 연대적 습관으로 돌아가면서 바쿠스의 영향을 받았을 때 더욱 그랬습니다. 그리고 나중에 어떻게 모든 것이 설명되었을까요? 미친 녀석이 처음부터 두니아에 대한 열정을 품었지만

무례함과 경멸의 표정으로 그것을 숨겼다고 믿으시겠습니까? 아마도 그는 자신의 나이와 가족의 아버지라는 점을 고려할 때 자신의 허황된 희망에 부끄러워하고 겁을 먹었을 것입니다. 그리고 그것은 그를 두니아에게 화나게 했습니다. 그리고 아마도 그는 무례하고 비웃는 행동으로 다른 사람들에게 진실을 숨기기를 바랐을 것입니다. 하지만 마침내 그는 모든 통제력을 잃고 두니아에게 공개적이고 부끄러운 제안을 할 수 있는 얼굴을 하고, 그녀에게 온갖 유혹을 약속하고, 게다가 모든 것을 토해내고 그녀를 자신의 다른 영지로 데려가거나 심지어 해외로 데려가겠다고 제안했습니다.

그녀가 겪은 모든 일을 상상할 수 있을 겁니다! 금전적 빚 때문만이 아니라 마르파 페트로브나의 감정을 아끼기 위해서도 그녀의 상황을 즉시 떠나는 것은 불가능했습니다. 마르파 페트로브나의 의심이 생겼을 테니까요. 그러면 두니아는 가족의 단절을 초래했을 겁니다. 그리고 그것은 두니아에게도 끔찍한 스캔들을 의미했을 겁니다. 그것은 불가피했을 겁니다. 두니아가 그 끔찍한 집에서 6주 동안 탈출할 수 없었던 데에는 여러 가지 다른 이유가 있었습니다. 물론 두니아를 알고 있을 겁니다. 그녀가 얼마나 영리하고 의지가 강한지 알겠죠. 두니아는 많은 것을 견뎌낼 수 있고 가장 어려운 경우에도 그녀는 확고함을 유지할 수 있는 용기가 있습니다.

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He is a kind-hearted man and was a friend of your father’s too. But having given him the right to receive the pension, I had to wait till the debt was paid off and that is only just done, so that I’ve been unable to send you anything all this time. But now, thank God,

I believe I shall be able to send you something more and in fact we may congratulate ourselves on our good fortune now, of which I hasten to inform you. In the first place, would you have guessed, dear Rodya, that your sister has been living with me for the last six weeks and we shall not be separated in the future.

Thank God, her sufferings are over, but I will tell you everything in order, so that you may know just how everything has happened and all that we have hitherto concealed from you. When you wrote to me two months ago that you had heard that Dounia had a great deal to put up with in the Svidrigraïlovs’ house, when you wrote that and asked me to tell you all about it—what could I write in answer to you? If I had written the whole truth to you, I dare say you would have thrown up everything and have come to us, even if you had to walk all the way, for I know your character and your feelings, and you would not let your sister be insulted.

I was in despair myself, but what could I do? And, besides, I did not know the whole truth myself then. What made it all so difficult was that Dounia received a hundred roubles in advance when she took the place as governess in their family, on condition of part of her salary being deducted every month, and so it was impossible to throw up the situation without repaying the debt. This sum (now I can explain it all to you, my precious Rodya) she took chiefly in order to send you sixty roubles, which you needed so terribly then and which you received from us last year.

We deceived you then, writing that this money came from Dounia’s savings, but that was not so, and now I tell you all about it, because, thank God, things have suddenly changed for the better, and that you may know how Dounia loves you and

what a heart she has.

At first indeed Mr. Svidrigaïlov treated her very rudely and used to make disrespectful and jeering remarks at table.... But I don’t want to go into all those painful details, so as not to worry you for nothing when it is now all over. In short, in spite of the kind and generous behaviour of Marfa Petrovna, Mr. Svidrigaïlov’s wife, and all the rest of the household, Dounia had a very hard time, especially when Mr. Svidrigaïlov, relapsing into his old regimental habits, was under the influence of Bacchus. And how do you think it was all explained later on? Would you believe that the crazy fellow had conceived a passion for Dounia from the beginning,

but had concealed it under a show of rudeness and contempt. Possibly he was ashamed and horrified himself at his own flighty hopes, considering his years and his being the father of a family; and that made him angry with Dounia. And possibly, too, he hoped by his rude and sneering behaviour to hide the truth from others. But at last he lost all control and had the face to make Dounia an open and shameful proposal, promising her all sorts of inducements and offering, besides, to throw up everything and take her to another estate of his, or even abroad.

You can imagine all she went through! To leave her situation at once was impossible not only on account of the money debt, but also to spare the feelings of Marfa Petrovna, whose suspicions would have been aroused: and then Dounia would have been the cause of a rupture in the family. And it would have meant a terrible scandal for Dounia too; that would have been inevitable. There were various other reasons owing to which Dounia could not hope to escape from that awful house for another six weeks. You know Dounia, of course; you know how clever she is and what a strong will she has. Dounia can endure a great deal and even in the most difficult cases she has the fortitude to maintain her firmness.