PART 5 // chapter 3-1

[모나리자]

"표트르 페트로비치," 그녀가 소리쳤다. "나를 보호해... 적어도 당신은! 이 어리석은 여자에게 불행한 여인에게 이렇게 행동할 수 없다는 걸 이해시켜... 이런 일에 대한 법이 있다는 걸... 내가 총독에게 직접 가겠어... 그녀가 책임을 져야 해... 아버지의 환대를 기억하며 이 고아들을 보호해." "허락해 주세요, 부인... 허락해 주세요." 표트르 페트로비치가 그녀를 손짓해 보냈다. "당신도 잘 알다시피, 당신 아빠는 내가 알 수 있는 영광이 없었어요" (누군가가 큰 소리로 웃었다) "그리고 나는 아말리아 이바노브나와 당신과의 영원한 다툼에 가담할 생각이 없어요.... 나는 내 일에 대해 이야기하기 위해 여기 온 거야... 그리고 당신의 의붓딸 소피아와 얘기하고 싶어... 이바노브나, 그럴 것 같아? 내가 지나가게 해줘."

표트르 페트로비치는 그녀 옆을 지나 소니아가 있는 반대편 구석으로 갔다. 카테리나 이바노브나는 마치 벼락을 맞은 듯이 그 자리에 서 있었다. 그녀는 표트르 페트로비치가 아버지의 환대를 즐겼다는 것을 어떻게 부인할 수 있는지 이해할 수 없었다. 그녀가 스스로 만들어낸 것이기는 했지만, 그녀는 이때쯤에는 그것을 확고히 믿었다. 그녀는 또한 표트르 페트로비치의 사업적이고 건조하며 심지어 경멸적인 위협적인 어조에 충격을 받았다. 모든 소란은 그가 들어오자 점차 사라졌다. 이 "진지한 사업가"는 파티의 나머지 사람들과 현저히 어울리지 않았을 뿐만 아니라, 그가 중요한 문제에 부딪혔고, 어떤 예외적인 원인이 그를 데려왔으며, 따라서 무언가가 일어날 것이라는 것도 분명했다.

소냐 옆에 서 있던 라스콜니코프는 그가 지나갈 수 있도록 비켜섰다. 표트르 페트로비치는 그를 알아차리지 못하는 듯했다. 1분 후 레베지아트니코프도 문간에 나타났다. 그는 들어오지 않고

멈춰 서서, 뚜렷한 흥미와 거의 경이로움을 느끼며 경청했고, 한동안 당황한 듯했다. "제가 방해해서 죄송하지만, 중요한 문제입니다." 표트르 페트로비치가 회사 전체에 말을 걸며 말했다. "다른 사람들이 참석해서 정말 기쁩니다. 아말리아 이바노브나, 집주인으로서 제가 소피아 이바노브나에게 하는 말에 주의 깊게 귀를 기울여 주시기를 간청드립니다.

소피아 이바노브나," 그는 매우 놀라고 이미 놀란 소냐에게 말을 이어갔다. "당신이 방문한 직후에 제 친구 레베지아트니코프 씨의 방에 있는 제 테이블에서 백 루블 지폐가 없어진 것을 발견했습니다. 만약 당신이 알고 지금 어디에 있는지 말해준다면, 저는 명예로운 말로 확실히 말씀드리고, 참석한 모든 사람을 증인으로 불러서 이 문제는 거기서 끝날 것입니다. 그 반대의 경우, 저는 매우 심각한 조치를 취해야 할 것이고... 그러면... 당신 스스로를 탓해야 할 것입니다." 방 안에는 완전한 침묵이 흘렀다. 울고 있는 아이들조차 잠잠했다. 소냐는 창백하게 서서 루진을 응시하며 아무 말도 하지 못했다.

그녀는 이해하지 못하는 듯했다. 몇 초가 지났다. "그럼, 어떻게 되는 거지?" 루진이 그녀를 뚫어지게 바라보며 물었다. "모르겠어요... 아무것도 몰라요." 소냐가 마침내 희미하게 말했다. "아니요, 아무것도 모르세요?" 루진이 반복했고 그는 다시 몇 초 동안 멈췄다. "잠깐 생각해 보세요, 아가씨." 그는 엄하게 말했지만, 그래도 그녀를 꾸짖는 듯했다. "생각해 보세요, 저는 당신에게 생각할 시간을 줄 준비가 되어 있습니다. 이걸 주의하세요. 제가 전적으로 확신하지 못한다면, 제 경험상 감히 당신을 그렇게

직접 고발할 수는 없을 것입니다.

증인 앞에서 그런 직접적인 고발을 한 것이 거짓이든 실수든, 어떤 의미에서 제가 책임을 져야 한다는 것을 알고 있습니다. 오늘 아침 저는 제 목적을 위해 5퍼센트 증권을 약 3천 루블에 바꾸었습니다. 그 계산은 내 지갑에 기록되어 있습니다. 집에 돌아와서 나는 돈을 세어보았습니다. 레베지아트니코프 씨가 증언할 것입니다. 2,300루블을 세고 나서 나머지는 코트 주머니에 있는 지갑에 넣었습니다. 테이블 위에는 약 500루블이 남았고 그 중에는 각각 100루블짜리 지폐 3장이 있었습니다.

그 순간 당신은 (내 초대에 따라) 들어왔고—그리고 당신은 그곳에 있는 내내 몹시 당황했습니다. 그래서 세 번이나 대화 중간에 벌떡 일어나서 달아나려고 했습니다. 레베지아트니코프 씨가 이를 증언할 수 있을 겁니다. 당신 자신도, 아가씨, 제가 레베지아트니코프 씨를 통해 당신을 초대했다는 제 진술을 부인하지 않을 겁니다. 오로지 당신의 친척인 카테리나 이바노브나(저는 그녀의 저녁 식사에 참석하지 못했습니다)의 절망적이고 가난한 처지와 그녀를 위해 구독, 복권 또는 이와 유사한 것을 만드는 것이 좋다는 것에 대해 당신과 논의하기 위해서였습니다. 당신은 저에게 감사를 표하고 눈물까지 흘렸습니다.

저는 이 모든 일을 일어난 대로 설명합니다. 주로 당신의 기억에 되살리기 위해서이고, 둘째로는 제 기억에서 사소한 세부 사항도 빠지지 않았다는 것을 보여주기 위해서입니다. 그러고 나서 저는 테이블에서 10루블 지폐를 꺼내서 당신의 친척을 위해 제 1회 할부로 당신에게 건네주었습니다. 레베지아트니코프 씨는 이 모든 것을 보았습니다. 그러고 나서 나는 당신을 문까지 안내했습니다. 당신은 여전히 ​​똑같은 당혹감에 빠져 있었습니다. 그 후, 레베지아트니코프 씨와 둘만 남겨진 나는 그와 10분간 이야기를 나누었습니다. 그러고 나서 레베지아트니코프 씨는

나갔고 나는 돈이 놓여 있는 테이블로 돌아갔습니다. 이전에 제안했던 대로 그것을 세어 따로 보관하려고 했습니다.

놀랍게도 100루블 지폐가 사라졌습니다. 상황을 고려해 주십시오. 레베지아트니코프 씨, 의심할 수 없습니다. 그런 가정을 암시하는 것은 부끄럽습니다. 내 계산에서 실수를 했을 리가 없습니다. 당신이 들어오기 직전에 계산을 마쳤고 총액이 맞는 것을 알았습니다.

당신은 당신의 당혹스러움, 벗어나고자 하는 열망, 그리고 당신이 잠시 동안 손을 테이블에 올려놓았다는 사실, 그리고 당신의 사회적 지위와 그것과 관련된 습관을 떠올리면서, 말하자면, 공포에 질려, 그리고 확실히 내 의지에 반하여, 의심을 품지 않을 수 없었다는 것을 인정할 것입니다. 잔인하지만 정당한 의심입니다! 나는 더 덧붙여, 내 확신에도 불구하고, 나는 이런 비난을 하는 데 어느 정도 위험이 있다는 것을 알고 있지만, 당신이 보시다시피, 나는 그것을 넘길 수 없었습니다.

나는 행동을 취했고 그 이유를 말씀드리겠습니다: 전적으로, 부인, 전적으로, 당신의 엄청난 배은망덕 때문입니다! 왜! 나는 당신의 가난한 친척을 위해 당신을 초대합니다. 나는 당신에게 10루블의 기부금을 제시하고, 당신은 그 자리에서 그런 행동으로 나에게 모든 것을 갚습니다. 너무 안타까운 일입니다! 당신은 교훈이 필요합니다. 반성하세요! 게다가, 진정한 친구로서 간청드립니다. 지금 이 순간 이보다 더 좋은 친구가 있을 리가 없겠지만, 당신이 하는 일을 생각해보세요. 그렇지 않으면 저는 움직이지 않을 겁니다!

글쎄요, 뭐라고 하실 건가요?" "아무것도 받지 않았어요." 소냐가 공포에 질려 속삭였다. "당신이 10루블을 주셨어요. 여기 있어요. 받으세요." 소냐는 주머니에서 손수건을 꺼내 한쪽 모서리를 풀고 10루블 지폐를 꺼내 루진에게 주었다. "그리고 당신이 받았다고 고백하지 않은 100루블은요?" 그는 지폐를 받지 않고 꾸중조로 주장했다.

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CHAPTER III

7178p

“Pyotr Petrovitch,” she cried, “protect me... you at least! Make this foolish woman understand that she can’t behave like this to a lady in misfortune... that there is a law for such things.... I’ll go to the governor-general himself.... She shall answer for it.... Remembering my father’s hospitality protect these orphans.” “Allow me, madam.... Allow me.” Pyotr Petrovitch waved her off. “Your papa as you are well aware I had not the honour of knowing” (someone laughed aloud) “and I do not intend to take part in your everlasting squabbles with Amalia Ivanovna.... I have come here to speak of my own affairs... and I want to have a word with your stepdaughter, Sofya... Ivanovna, I think it is? Allow me to pass.”

Pyotr Petrovitch, edging by her, went to the opposite corner where Sonia was. Katerina Ivanovna remained standing where she was, as though thunderstruck. She could not understand how Pyotr Petrovitch could deny having enjoyed her father’s hospitality. Though she had invented it herself, she believed in it firmly by this time. She was struck too by the businesslike, dry and even contemptuous menacing tone of Pyotr Petrovitch. All the clamour gradually died away at his entrance. Not only was this “serious business man” strikingly incongruous with the rest of the party, but it was evident, too, that he had come upon some matter of consequence, that some exceptional cause must have brought him and that therefore something was going to happen.

Raskolnikov, standing beside Sonia, moved aside to let him pass; Pyotr Petrovitch did not seem to notice him. A minute later Lebeziatnikov, too, appeared in the doorway; he did not come in, but stood

still, listening with marked interest, almost wonder, and seemed for a time perplexed. “Excuse me for possibly interrupting you, but it’s a matter of some importance,” Pyotr Petrovitch observed, addressing the company generally. “I am glad indeed to find other persons present. Amalia Ivanovna, I humbly beg you as mistress of the house to pay careful attention to what I have to say to Sofya Ivanovna.

Sofya Ivanovna,” he went on, addressing Sonia, who was very much surprised and already alarmed, “immediately after your visit I found that a hundred-rouble note was missing from my table, in the room of my friend Mr. Lebeziatnikov. If in any way whatever you know and will tell us where it is now, I assure you on my word of honour and call all present to witness that the matter shall end there. In the opposite case I shall be compelled to have recourse to very serious measures and then... you must blame yourself.” Complete silence reigned in the room. Even the crying children were still. Sonia stood deadly pale, staring at Luzhin and unable to say a word.

She seemed not to understand. Some seconds passed. “Well, how is it to be then?” asked Luzhin, looking intently at her. “I don’t know.... I know nothing about it,” Sonia articulated faintly at last. “No, you know nothing?” Luzhin repeated and again he paused for some seconds. “Think a moment, mademoiselle,” he began severely, but still, as it were, admonishing her. “Reflect, I am prepared to give you time for consideration. Kindly observe this: if I were not so entirely convinced I should not, you may be sure, with my experience venture to accuse you so

directly.

Seeing that for such direct accusation before witnesses, if false or even mistaken, I should myself in a certain sense be made responsible, I am aware of that. This morning I changed for my own purposes several five-per-cent securities for the sum of approximately three thousand roubles. The account is noted down in my pocket-book. On my return home I proceeded to count the money—as Mr. Lebeziatnikov will bear witness—and after counting two thousand three hundred roubles I put the rest in my pocket-book in my coat pocket. About five hundred roubles remained on the table and among them three notes of a hundred roubles each.

At that moment you entered (at my invitation)—and all the time you were present you were exceedingly embarrassed; so that three times you jumped up in the middle of the conversation and tried to make off. Mr. Lebeziatnikov can bear witness to this. You yourself, mademoiselle, probably will not refuse to confirm‎ my statement that I invited you through Mr. Lebeziatnikov, solely in order to discuss with you the hopeless and destitute position of your relative, Katerina Ivanovna (whose dinner I was unable to attend), and the advisability of getting up something of the nature of a subscription, lottery or the like, for her benefit. You thanked me and even shed tears.

I describe all this as it took place, primarily to recall it to your mind and secondly to show you that not the slightest detail has escaped my recollection. Then I took a ten-rouble note from the table and handed it to you by way of first instalment on my part for the benefit of your relative. Mr. Lebeziatnikov saw all this. Then I accompanied you to the door—you being still in the same state of embarrassment—after which, being left alone with Mr. Lebeziatnikov I talked to him for ten minutes—then Mr. Lebeziatnikov went

out and I returned to the table with the money lying on it, intending to count it and to put it aside, as I proposed doing before.

To my surprise one hundred-rouble note had disappeared. Kindly consider the position. Mr. Lebeziatnikov I cannot suspect. I am ashamed to allude to such a supposition. I cannot have made a mistake in my reckoning, for the minute before your entrance I had finished my accounts and found the total correct.

You will admit that recollecting your embarrassment, your eagerness to get away and the fact that you kept your hands for some time on the table, and taking into consideration your social position and the habits associated with it, I was, so to say, with horror and positively against my will, compelled to entertain a suspicion—a cruel, but justifiable suspicion! I will add further and repeat that in spite of my positive conviction, I realise that I run a certain risk in making this accusation, but as you see, I could not let it pass.

I have taken action and I will tell you why: solely, madam, solely, owing to your black ingratitude! Why! I invite you for the benefit of your destitute relative, I present you with my donation of ten roubles and you, on the spot, repay me for all that with such an action. It is too bad! You need a lesson. Reflect! Moreover, like a true friend I beg you—and you could have no better friend at this moment—think what you are doing, otherwise I shall be immovable!

Well, what do you say?” “I have taken nothing,” Sonia whispered in terror, “you gave me ten roubles, here it is, take it.” Sonia pulled her handkerchief out of her pocket, untied a corner of it, took out the ten-rouble note and gave it to Luzhin. “And the hundred roubles you do not confess to taking?” he insisted reproachfully, not taking the note.