PART 5 // chapter 3-4

[모나리자]

레베지아트니코프가 논리적 추론으로 장황한 연설을 끝냈을 때, 그는 매우 지쳐 있었고, 그의 얼굴에서는 땀이 흘러내렸습니다. 그는 다른 언어는 몰랐지만, 아쉽게도 러시아어로 자신을 올바르게 표현할 수 없었고, 이 영웅적 행위 이후 그는 매우 지쳐 있었고 거의 쇠약해졌습니다.

하지만 그의 연설은 강력한 효과를 냈습니다. 그는 너무나 격렬하고 확신에 차서 말했기 때문에 모든 사람이 그를 분명히 믿었습니다. 표트르 페트로비치는 상황이 자신에게 좋지 않다고 느꼈습니다. "당신에게 어리석은 생각이 떠올랐다면 나와 무슨 상관이 있습니까?" 그는 소리쳤습니다. "그것은 증거가 아닙니다. 당신은 꿈에서 본 것일 수도 있습니다. 그게 전부입니다! 그리고 제가 말씀드리건대, 당신은 거짓말을 하고 있습니다, 선생님. 당신은 나에게 대한 악의에서 거짓말을 하고 중상모략을 하고 있습니다. 그저 화가 나서요. 당신의 자유사상적이고 불경건하며 사회적인 제안에 동의하지 않았기 때문입니다!"

하지만 이 반박은 표트르 페트로비치에게 도움이 되지 않았습니다. 사방에서 불만의 중얼거림이 들렸다. "아, 그게 당신들의 노선이군요!" 레베지아트니코프가 소리쳤다. "말도 안 돼! 경찰에 신고하면 내가 선서할게! 내가 이해할 수 없는 게 하나 있어. 그가 왜 그런 멸시스러운 짓을 감행했을까. 오, 가련하고 비열한 놈!"

"나는 그가 왜 그런 짓을 감행했는지 설명할 수 있고, 필요하다면 나도 맹세할 거야." 라스콜니코프가 마침내 단호한 목소리로 말하며 앞으로 나섰다. 그는 단호하고 침착해 보였다. 모든 사람은 그의 표정에서 그가 정말로 그것에 대해 알고 있고 미스터리가 해결될 것이라는 것을 분명히 느꼈다. "이제 내가 다 설명할 수 있어." 라스콜니코프가 레베지아트니코프에게 말하며 말했다. "이 일을 시작한 이래로 나는 그 일의 밑바닥에 어떤 사악한 음모가 있을 것이라고 의심했다.

저는 저만 아는 몇 가지 특별한 상황에서 의심하기 시작했는데, 저는 모든 사람에게 즉시 설명하겠습니다. 그것이 모든 것을 설명합니다. 여러분의 귀중한 증거가 마침내 모든 것을 저에게 분명히 해주었습니다. 저는 모든 사람에게 귀를 기울여 주시기를 간청드립니다. 이 신사(그는 루진을 가리켰습니다)는 얼마 전에 젊은 여성인 제 여동생 아브도티아 로마노브나 라스콜니코프와 약혼했습니다. 하지만 그는 상트페테르부르크에 와서 어제 우리가 처음 만났을 때 저와 말다툼을 했고 저는 그를 제 방에서 몰아냈습니다. 저는 그것을 증명할 증인이 두 명 있습니다.

그는 매우 악의적인 사람입니다.... 그저께 저는 그가 여기, 당신 방에 머물고 있다는 것을 몰랐고, 그래서 우리가 말다툼을 한 바로 그 날, 그저께에 그는 제가 고인이 된 마르멜라도프 씨의 친구로서 카테리나 이바노브나에게 장례식 비용을 주는 것을 보았습니다. 그는 곧 어머니에게 편지를 써서 내가 모든 돈을 카테리나 이바노브나가 아니라 소피아 세묘노브나에게 주었다고 알리고, 소피아 세묘노브나의 ... 성격에 대해 가장 경멸스러운 어조로 언급했습니다. 다시 말해, 소피아 세묘노브나에 대한 나의 태도의 성격을 암시한 것입니다.

이 모든 것은 내가 가치 없는 것에 돈을 낭비하고 있다고 암시함으로써 어머니와 누이와 나를 갈라놓으려는 의도에서 비롯된 것이었습니다.

그들이 내게 보낸 돈과 그들이 가진 전부였습니다. 어제 저녁, 어머니와 누이 앞에서, 그리고 그가 있는 자리에서 나는 장례식을 위해 카테리나 이바노브나에게 돈을 주었고 소피아 세묘노브나에게는 주지 않았으며 소피아 세묘노브나를 전혀 알지 못하고 전에 한 번도 본 적이 없다고 선언했습니다.

동시에 나는 표트르 페트로비치 루진이라는 그 모든 미덕에도 불구하고 소피아 세묘노브나의 새끼손가락만한 가치도 없다고 덧붙였습니다. 그는 소피아 세묘노브나를 누이 옆에 앉히겠습니까?라고 물었고, 나는 그날 이미 그렇게 했다고 대답했습니다. 어머니와 누이가 그의 암시에 대해 나와 다투기를 꺼려하는 데 짜증이 나서 그는 점차 용서할 수 없을 정도로 무례하게 대하기 시작했습니다. 마지막 단절이 일어났고 그는 집에서 쫓겨났습니다.

이 모든 일은 어제 저녁에 일어났습니다. 이제 여러분의 특별한 주의를 부탁드립니다. 생각해 보세요. 그가 지금 소피아 세묘노브나가 도둑이라는 것을 증명하는 데 성공했다면, 그는 어머니와 자매에게 자신의 의심이 거의 옳았고, 내가 여동생을 소피아 세묘노브나와 같은 수준으로 끌어올린 것에 화가 났을 이유가 있었으며, 나를 공격함으로써 약혼자인 여동생의 명예를 보호하고 보존하고 있었다는 것을 보여줬을 것입니다. 사실 그는 이 모든 일을 통해 나를 가족에게서 멀어지게 할 수도 있었고, 의심할 여지 없이 그들에게 호의를 회복하기를 바랐을 것입니다. 개인적으로 나에게 복수하는 것은 말할 것도 없고, 그는 소피아 세묘노브나의 명예와 행복이 나에게 매우 소중하다고 생각할 근거가 있기 때문입니다.

그것이 그가 일한 이유였습니다! 제가 이해하는 바입니다. 그것이 전부이고 다른 이유는 없습니다!” 라스콜니코프가 연설을 마무리한 것은 이런 식이거나, 다소 이런 식이었고, 청중의

감탄에 종종 방해를 받았지만 매우 주의 깊게 이어졌습니다. 하지만 방해에도 불구하고 그는 분명하고 차분하고 정확하고 단호하게 말했습니다. 그의 단호한 목소리, 확신에 찬 어조, 그리고 그의 엄격한 얼굴은 모든 사람에게 큰 인상을 남겼습니다.

“그렇습니다, 그렇습니다, 바로 그것입니다.” 레베지아트니코프가 즐겁게 동의했습니다. “그게 바로 그것입니다. 소피아 세묘노브나가 우리 방에 들어오자마자 그가 저에게 당신이 여기 있는지, 카테리나 이바노브나의 손님들 사이에서 당신을 봤는지 물었기 때문입니다. 그는 나를 창문으로 불러 비밀리에 물었습니다. 당신이 여기 있는 것이 그에게 필수적이었습니다! 바로 그것입니다, 바로 그것입니다!”

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When Lebeziatnikov finished his long-winded harangue with the logical deduction at the end, he was quite tired, and the perspiration streamed from his face. He could not, alas, even express himself correctly in Russian, though he knew no other language, so that he was quite exhausted, almost emaciated after this heroic exploit.

But his speech produced a powerful effect. He had spoken with such vehemence, with such conviction that everyone obviously believed him. Pyotr Petrovitch felt that things were going badly with him. “What is it to do with me if silly ideas did occur to you?” he shouted, “that’s no evidence. You may have dreamt it, that’s all! And I tell you, you are lying, sir. You are lying and slandering from some spite against me, simply from pique, because I did not agree with your free-thinking, godless, social propositions!”

But this retort did not benefit Pyotr Petrovitch. Murmurs of disapproval were heard on all sides. “Ah, that’s your line now, is it!” cried Lebeziatnikov, “that’s nonsense! Call the police and I’ll take my oath! There’s only one thing I can’t understand: what made him risk such a contemptible action. Oh, pitiful, despicable man!”

“I can explain why he risked such an action, and if necessary, I, too, will swear to it,” Raskolnikov said at last in a firm voice, and he stepped forward. He appeared to be firm and composed. Everyone felt clearly, from the very look of him that he really knew about it and that the mystery would be solved. “Now I can explain it all to myself,” said Raskolnikov, addressing Lebeziatnikov. “From the very beginning of the business, I suspected that there was some scoundrelly intrigue at the bottom of it.

I began to suspect it from some special circumstances known to me only, which I will explain at once to everyone: they account for everything. Your valuable evidence has finally made everything clear to me. I beg all, all to listen. This gentleman (he pointed to Luzhin) was recently engaged to be married to a young lady—my sister, Avdotya Romanovna Raskolnikov. But coming to Petersburg he quarrelled with me, the day before yesterday, at our first meeting and I drove him out of my room—I have two witnesses to prove it.

He is a very spiteful man.... The day before yesterday I did not know that he was staying here, in your room, and that consequently on the very day we quarrelled—the day before yesterday—he saw me give Katerina Ivanovna some money for the funeral, as a friend of the late Mr. Marmeladov. He at once wrote a note to my mother and informed her that I had given away all my money, not to Katerina Ivanovna but to Sofya Semyonovna, and referred in a most contemptible way to the... character of Sofya Semyonovna, that is, hinted at the character of my attitude to Sofya Semyonovna.

All this you understand was with the object of dividing me from my mother and sister, by insinuating that I was squandering on unworthy objects the money

which they had sent me and which was all they had. Yesterday evening, before my mother and sister and in his presence, I declared that I had given the money to Katerina Ivanovna for the funeral and not to Sofya Semyonovna and that I had no acquaintance with Sofya Semyonovna and had never seen her before, indeed.

At the same time I added that he, Pyotr Petrovitch Luzhin, with all his virtues, was not worth Sofya Semyonovna’s little finger, though he spoke so ill of her. To his question—would I let Sofya Semyonovna sit down beside my sister, I answered that I had already done so that day. Irritated that my mother and sister were unwilling to quarrel with me at his insinuations, he gradually began being unpardonably rude to them. A final rupture took place and he was turned out of the house.

All this happened yesterday evening. Now I beg your special attention: consider: if he had now succeeded in proving that Sofya Semyonovna was a thief, he would have shown to my mother and sister that he was almost right in his suspicions, that he had reason to be angry at my putting my sister on a level with Sofya Semyonovna, that, in attacking me, he was protecting and preserving the honour of my sister, his betrothed. In fact he might even, through all this, have been able to estrange me from my family, and no doubt he hoped to be restored to favour with them; to say nothing of revenging himself on me personally, for he has grounds for supposing that the honour and happiness of Sofya Semyonovna are very precious to me.

That was what he was working for! That’s how I understand it. That’s the whole reason for it and there can be no other!” It was like this, or somewhat like this, that Raskolnikov wound up his speech which was followed very attentively, though often interrupted by

exclamations from his audience. But in spite of interruptions he spoke clearly, calmly, exactly, firmly. His decisive voice, his tone of conviction and his stern face made a great impression on everyone.

“Yes, yes, that’s it,” Lebeziatnikov assented gleefully, “that must be it, for he asked me, as soon as Sofya Semyonovna came into our room, whether you were here, whether I had seen you among Katerina Ivanovna’s guests. He called me aside to the window and asked me in secret. It was essential for him that you should be here! That’s it, that’s it!”