12월 6일 (일) Arranged Marriage

Arranged Marriage From the Asia Society's Video Letter from Japan: My Family, 1988, p. 36-37. In Japan, there are two types of marriage: the so-called love marriage and the arranged marriage. The love marriage is the type we are familiar with in the West, where the couple meet independently without the assistance of a go-between or matchmaker. Although the arranged marriage was predominant in the past, the majority of Japanese marriages today are love marriages. Estimates vary, placing the proportion of arranged marriages at anywhere from 25 to 50 percent. The modern system of arranged marriage is somewhat similar to blind dating in the United States. When a young woman reaches marriageable age (now about 25 for a Japanese woman), she and her parents compile a packet of information about her, including a photograph of her in kimono and descriptions of her family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments, and interests.   Her parents then inquire among their friends and acquaintances to see if anyone knows a man who would be a suitable husband for her. The person who does becomes the go-between, showing the packet to the potential bridegroom and, if both parties are interested, arranging a meeting between them. (The man provides a photograph and information as well.) Such meetings often take place in the restaurant of a posh hotel. The go-between is present, usually along with representatives from both families. If the young couple feel inclined, they will begin dating, with marriage as a possible -- but not inevitable -- result. It is not uncommon for a woman to have 10 or more such introductions before she finds the man she wants to marry. The young man and woman make the final decision about marriage between themselves, though they seek the advice and approval of their parents and their go-between. Some Japanese feel that romantic love is not the most important ingredient in a successful marriage; perhaps this belief is borne out by the fact that the divorce rate in Japan generally is lower than that in the United States. The divorce rate for arranged marriages in Japan is lower than for love marriages. Think about the Japanese system of arranged marriage. Do you think it would work in your country? Why or why not? Pretend you live in Japan. Make up an information package about yourself, as described above, to present to a go-between. Based on your description of yourself, what kind of person would the gobetween look for? How did your parents meet? Take a class survey.