PART 5 // chapter 3-5

[모나리자]

루진은 경멸조로 웃으며 아무 말도 하지 않았다. 하지만 그는 매우 창백했다. 그는 탈출 수단을 고민하는 듯했다. 그는 모든 것을 포기하고 도망치고 싶었을지도 모르지만, 지금 당장은 그럴 가능성이 거의 없었다. 그것은 그에게 가해진 비난의 진실을 인정하는 것을 의미했을 것이다. 게다가 이미 술에 취해 흥분했던 일행은 이제 너무 흥분해서 그것을 허용할 수 없었다.

위원회 서기는 실제로 모든 상황을 파악하지 못했지만 누구보다 더 큰 소리로 외치며 루진에게 매우 불쾌한 몇 가지 제안을 했다. 하지만 그 자리에 있던 모든 사람이 취한 것은 아니었다. 모든 방에서 하숙인들이 들어왔다. 세 명의 폴란드인은 엄청나게 흥분했고 계속해서 그에게 "팬은 라이다크다크다!"라고 소리치고 폴란드어로 위협적인 말을 중얼거렸다.

소냐는 주의력을 집중해서 듣고 있었지만, 그녀 역시 모든 것을 파악하지 못하는 듯했다. 그녀는 방금 의식을 되찾은 듯했다. 그녀는 라스콜니코프에게서 눈을 떼지 않았고, 그녀의 모든 안전이 그에게 달려 있다고 느꼈습니다. 카테리나 이바노브나는 힘들고 고통스럽게 숨을 쉬었고, 두려울 정도로 지쳐 보였습니다. 아말리아 이바노브나는 누구보다 더 멍청해 보였고, 입을 벌리고 무슨 일이 일어났는지 알아들을 수 없었습니다.

그녀는 표트르 페트로비치가 어떻게 된 일인지 알 수 없었습니다. 라스콜니코프는 다시 말하려고 했지만, 그들은 그를 막았습니다. 모두가 루진 주변에 몰려들어 위협과 욕설을 퍼부었습니다. 하지만 표트르 페트로비치는 위축되지 않았습니다. 소냐에 대한 자신의 비난이 완전히 실패한 것을 보고, 그는 무례한 태도를 보였습니다. "허락해 주세요, 신사 여러분, 허락해 주세요! 압박하지 마세요, 지나가게 해주세요!" 그는 군중을 헤치며 말했습니다. "그리고 협박은 하지 마세요! 아무 소용이 없을 거라고 확신합니다. 아무 소용도 없을 겁니다.

오히려, 여러분은 정의의 길을 폭력적으로 방해한 것에 대해 대답해야 할 겁니다, 신사 여러분. 도둑은 이미 가면을 벗었고, 나는 그를 기소할 것이다. 우리 판사들은 그렇게 눈멀지도 않고... 그렇게 취하지도 않았으며, 두 명의 악명 높은 이교도, 선동가, 무신론자의 증언을 믿지 않을 것이다. 그들은 나를 개인적인 복수심에서 고발하는데, 그들은 그것을 인정할 만큼 어리석다... 그래, 지나가게 해줘!" "내 방에서 네 흔적을 찾지 못하게 해줘! 즉시 나가. 그러면 우리 사이의 모든 것이 끝난다!

내가 겪은 고생을 생각하면, 내가 이 2주 동안 해 온 방식을 생각해 보면!" "내가 오늘 너한테 내가 간다고 말했는데, 네가 나를 붙잡으려고 했을 때 말이야. 지금은 네가 바보라고 덧붙일 뿐이야. 네 뇌와 시력을 위해 의사를 찾아가는 게 좋을 거야. 지나가게 해줘, 신사 여러분!" 그는 힘겹게 걸어 들어갔다. 그러나 인민위원회 서기는 그를 그렇게 쉽게 놓아주고 싶지 않았다. 그는 테이블에서 잔 하나를 집어 올려 공중으로 휘두른 다음 표트르 페트로비치에게 던졌다. 그러나 잔은 아말리아 이바노브나에게 똑바로 날아갔다.

그녀는 비명을 질렀고, 점원은 균형을 잃고 테이블 아래로 무겁게 쓰러졌습니다.

표트르 페트로비치는 자신의 방으로 걸어갔고 30분 후에 집을 나갔습니다. 소냐는 본성적으로 소심했고, 그날 전까지도 누구보다 쉽게 ​​학대를 받을 수 있고, 처벌받지 않고도 해를 입을 수 있다고 생각했습니다. 하지만 그때까지 그녀는 모든 사람 앞에서 조심스럽고 온유하며 복종함으로써 불행을 피할 수 있을 것이라고 생각했습니다. 그녀의 실망은 너무나 컸습니다.

물론 그녀는 인내심을 가지고 거의 불평 없이 참을 수 있었습니다. 심지어 이것조차도 말입니다. 하지만 첫 순간 그녀는 그것이 너무 씁쓸하다고 느꼈습니다. 그녀의 승리와 그녀의 정당화에도 불구하고, 그녀의 첫 번째 공포와 무감각함이 지나가고 그녀가 모든 것을 분명히 이해할 수 있었을 때, 그녀의 무력감과 그녀에게 가해진 해악에 대한 느낌은 그녀의 심장을 괴로움으로 두근거리게 했고 그녀는 히스테리적인 울음에 압도되었습니다. 마침내 더 이상 참을 수 없어 그녀는 방에서 뛰쳐나와 루진이 떠난 직후 집으로 달려갔다.

큰 웃음소리 속에서 유리잔이 아말리아 이바노브나에게 날아들었을 때, 여주인은 참을 수 있는 수준을 넘어섰다. 그녀는 카테리나 이바노브나에게 격노하듯이 비명을 지르며 달려들었고, 그녀가 모든 일에 책임이 있다고 생각했다. "내 숙소에서 나가! 당장! 재빨리!" 그리고 이 말과 함께 그녀는 카테리나 이바노브나의 소유물 중에서 손에 넣을 수 있는 모든 것을 움켜쥐고 바닥에 던지기 시작했다.

카테리나 이바노브나는 창백하고 거의 기절할 뻔했으며 숨을 헐떡이며 지쳐서 쓰러져 있던 침대에서 뛰어올라 아말리아 이바노브나에게 달려들었다. 하지만 싸움은 너무나 격렬했다. 여주인은 그녀를 깃털처럼 흔들어 쫓아냈다. "뭐! 그 불경한 중상모략이 충분하지 않은 듯이—이 사악한

놈이 나를 공격해! 뭐! 남편의 장례식 날, 나는 내 숙소에서 쫓겨났다! 빵과 소금을 먹은 후 그녀는 나를 고아들과 함께 거리로 내쫓았어요!

내가 어디로 가야 하나요?" 불쌍한 여인이 흐느끼며 헐떡이며 통곡했습니다. "맙소사!" 그녀는 번쩍이는 눈으로 외쳤습니다. "세상에 정의가 없는 거야? 우리 고아들이 아니라면 누구를 보호해야 하나요? 알아보겠습니다! 지상에는 법과 정의가 있어요, 있어요, 내가 찾을게요! 잠깐만요, 신이 없는 놈! 폴렌카, 아이들과 함께 있어. 내가 돌아올게. 거리에서 기다려야 한다면 나를 기다려.

지상에 정의가 있는지 알아보겠습니다!" 그리고 마르멜라도프가 라스콜니코프에게 언급한 녹색 숄을 머리 위로 두르고, 카테리나 이바노브나는 여전히 방을 가득 채운 무질서하고 취한 하숙인 무리를 헤치고 통곡하며 눈물을 흘리며 거리로 달려갔습니다. 정의를 찾기 위해 어딘가로 바로 가려는 막연한 의도를 가지고 있었습니다.

폴렌카는 두 어린아이를 팔에 안고 방 구석에 있는 트렁크에 웅크리고, 겁에 질려 있었고, 어머니가 돌아올 때까지 떨면서 기다리고 있었습니다. 아말리아 이바노브나는 방 안을 돌아다니며 비명을 지르고, 탄식하며, 그녀가 발견한 모든 것을 바닥에 던졌습니다.

하숙인들은 횡설수설했고, 어떤 사람들은 무슨 일이 일어났는지 최선을 다해 말했고, 다른 사람들은 서로 다투고 욕설을 했고, 다른 사람들은 노래를 불렀습니다.... "이제 내가 가야 할 시간이야." 라스콜니코프는 생각했습니다. "글쎄, 소피아 세묘노브나, 네가 지금 뭐라고 말할지 보자!" 그리고 그는 소냐의 하숙집 방향으로 출발했습니다.

---------------------------

7368p

Luzhin smiled contemptuously and did not speak. But he was very pale. He seemed to be deliberating on some means of escape. Perhaps he would have been glad to give up everything and get away, but at the moment this was scarcely possible. It would have implied admitting the truth of the accusations brought against him. Moreover, the company, which had already been excited by drink, was now too much stirred to allow it.

The commissariat clerk, though indeed he had not grasped the whole position, was shouting louder than anyone and was making some suggestions very unpleasant to Luzhin. But not all those present were drunk; lodgers came in from all the rooms. The three Poles were tremendously excited and were continually shouting at him: “The pan is a lajdak!” and muttering threats in Polish.

Sonia had been listening with strained attention, though she too seemed unable to grasp it all; she seemed as though she had just returned to consciousness. She did not take her eyes off Raskolnikov, feeling that all her safety lay in him. Katerina Ivanovna breathed hard and painfully and seemed fearfully exhausted. Amalia Ivanovna stood looking more stupid than anyone, with her mouth wide open, unable to make out what had happened.

She only saw that Pyotr Petrovitch had somehow come to grief. Raskolnikov was attempting to speak again, but they did not let him. Everyone was crowding round Luzhin with threats and shouts of abuse. But Pyotr Petrovitch was not intimidated. Seeing that his accusation of Sonia had completely failed, he had recourse to insolence: “Allow me, gentlemen, allow me! Don’t squeeze, let me pass!” he said, making his way through the crowd. “And no threats, if you please! I assure you it will be useless, you will gain nothing by it.

On the contrary, you’ll have to answer, gentlemen, for violently obstructing the course of justice. The thief has been more than unmasked, and I shall prosecute. Our judges are not so blind and... not so drunk, and will not believe the testimony of two notorious infidels, agitators, and atheists, who accuse me from motives of personal revenge which they are foolish enough to admit.... Yes, allow me to pass!” “Don’t let me find a trace of you in my room! Kindly leave at once, and everything is at an end between us!

When I think of the trouble I’ve been taking, the way I’ve been expounding... all this fortnight!” “I told you myself to-day that I was going, when you tried to keep me; now I will simply add that you are a fool. I advise you to see a doctor for your brains and your short sight. Let me pass, gentlemen!” He forced his way through. But the commissariat clerk was unwilling to let him off so easily: he picked up a glass from the table, brandished it in the air and flung it at Pyotr Petrovitch; but the glass flew straight at Amalia Ivanovna.

She screamed, and the clerk, overbalancing, fell heavily under

the table. Pyotr Petrovitch made his way to his room and half an hour later had left the house. Sonia, timid by nature, had felt before that day that she could be ill-treated more easily than anyone, and that she could be wronged with impunity. Yet till that moment she had fancied that she might escape misfortune by care, gentleness and submissiveness before everyone. Her disappointment was too great.

She could, of course, bear with patience and almost without murmur anything, even this. But for the first minute she felt it too bitter. In spite of her triumph and her justification—when her first terror and stupefaction had passed and she could understand it all clearly—the feeling of her helplessness and of the wrong done to her made her heart throb with anguish and she was overcome with hysterical weeping. At last, unable to bear any more, she rushed out of the room and ran home, almost immediately after Luzhin’s departure.

When amidst loud laughter the glass flew at Amalia Ivanovna, it was more than the landlady could endure. With a shriek she rushed like a fury at Katerina Ivanovna, considering her to blame for everything. “Out of my lodgings! At once! Quick march!” And with these words she began snatching up everything she could lay her hands on that belonged to Katerina Ivanovna, and throwing it on the floor.

Katerina Ivanovna, pale, almost fainting, and gasping for breath, jumped up from the bed where she had sunk in exhaustion and darted at Amalia Ivanovna. But the battle was too unequal: the landlady waved her away like a feather. “What! As though that godless calumny was not enough—this vile

creature attacks me! What! On the day of my husband’s funeral I am turned out of my lodging! After eating my bread and salt she turns me into the street, with my orphans!

Where am I to go?” wailed the poor woman, sobbing and gasping. “Good God!” she cried with flashing eyes, “is there no justice upon earth? Whom should you protect if not us orphans? We shall see! There is law and justice on earth, there is, I will find it! Wait a bit, godless creature! Polenka, stay with the children, I’ll come back. Wait for me, if you have to wait in the street.

We will see whether there is justice on earth!” And throwing over her head that green shawl which Marmeladov had mentioned to Raskolnikov, Katerina Ivanovna squeezed her way through the disorderly and drunken crowd of lodgers who still filled the room, and, wailing and tearful, she ran into the street—with a vague intention of going at once somewhere to find justice.

Polenka with the two little ones in her arms crouched, terrified, on the trunk in the corner of the room, where she waited trembling for her mother to come back. Amalia Ivanovna raged about the room, shrieking, lamenting and throwing everything she came across on the floor.

The lodgers talked incoherently, some commented to the best of their ability on what had happened, others quarrelled and swore at one another, while others struck up a song.... “Now it’s time for me to go,” thought Raskolnikov. “Well, Sofya Semyonovna, we shall see what you’ll say now!” And he set off in the direction of Sonia’s lodgings.