Re:어머어머..엽기당..

징짜 기네요 함 해석해볼까 하구 시도하려다 포기! --;; 근데 이거 정말이에요?? 너무 뻥같은거 많은거 아냐..ㅡ.ㅡ;; 음..아무래도 안믿기는 것들이 많은걸요..?? 흠냐..ㅡㅡ; 머리 없다는건 모에요?? 가발쓴다고..정말이에요?? 설마 농담이겠지..?? ㅡ.ㅡa 할튼 특히 마지막쯤에 인터넷 사건..설마 그것땜에 인터넷 접속 한번도 안하고..심지어 트레일러가 타이어가 터져서 기울어 있었다니..ㅡ.ㅡ;; 엽기다.. 입술 얘기도 엽기적이고..ㅡㅡ;; 모 글중에 보니 돌에 키스하고 있는 조나단 사진을 보려면 클릭!이런거도 써있는거 보니 사실인가보죠?? --; 어쩄거나 엽기인게 넘 많음..ㅡ.ㅡ;; 웃긴거도 많지만.. 근데 만약 사실이라면 중간에 나오는 Ms 머였냐..할튼 그 여자선생님 넘 심하네요..ㅡ.ㅡ;; 남자앤지 여자앤지 구분을 잘 못하고..성별란에 potluck이라고 쓰라고 했다니..컥 근데 마지막에 결혼식 테마웨딩으로 했음 좋겠다면서 티파티가든에 안개를 뿜어내며 하겠다는건 정말 멋있는듯..ㅋㅋ 근데 동생들이 축가로 써놨다는 we loved like bastards는 또 머람 ㅋㅋ 우끼당.. 할튼 이거 쓴여자 모냐..ㅡ.ㅡ;;;; 아무래도 영 못믿겠는..ㅋㅋㅋㅋ (난 의심쟁이~~) --------------------- [원본 메세지] --------------------- 웹사이트 돌아다니다 발견한건데 해석하다보니 잼있더군요 조니에 대해 많이 알게 되는거 같구요 근데 문제는 영어를 그렇게 잘하는 편이 아니라 해석이 중간중간 잘안되네요 어디 영어 잘하시는분 안계세요? 여기보면 조나단이 고아였다는 이야기도 나오고 입술이 왜그렇게 두껍게 되었는지도 나오고 하는데 ㅋㅋ Do you know Jonathan? ☞Infact I know him by osmosis. I knew the man who use to work for the distributing company that use to rive the sheep around for the farm that use to sell grain to the man who lived 20 miles near the other farmer who use to know the mail man who would deliver letters to the shop owner who did Tai Chi in his store, and he knew Jonathan, since his daughter grew up with Jonny cuz they use to play marbles together back in the day. Has he seen the site? ☞I think he has since I know someone in Cork and its such a small town (wink wink). Does Jonathan really have a tattoo? ☞No what you may have seen was a permnanent marker stain that Toni had given Jonny on their 3 month anniversary. It was a number 3 on his elbow. How do you pronounce his last name? is Rhys a middle name or his actual last name? is there a hyphen? ☞It's pronounced RHEESE like M&M's. Mmm Twix. It's his mothers maiden name, hehe no. Actually Rhys is his first name. Jonathan is a stage name. C'mon you've never heard of a kid named Jonathan? Meyers is taken from the wiener...he loved them as a child and wanted to pay homage. The hypen Is so he doesn't get confused. (I wish I was Jonathan Rhys Meyers Wieeeennnnerrrr!!!!!) Is Jonathan Really Irish? ☞No. He's from Jersey. He worked to get the accent down by watching Lucky Charms commercials. I hope that's cleared. Whats Jonathans Shoe size. ☞This I cannot disclose. I am sworn to secrecy. You know what they say about people with big feet. They have big shoes. What is Jonathan's natural hair color? ☞He has no hair. Its a wig. He wears it ever since the accident. Please send your donations. Is it true every guy in Cork looks like Jonathan? ☞If it was true honey we would all be living there and we would have world peace and a cure for Henrieness* (see bottom for meaning) What's Jonathans fav color? ☞Tootsie roll brown and nestle quick strawberry flavored pink. Can Jonathan really play the guitar? ☞A little bit. I know for a FAQ that he plays a mean Sandwich, which is an instrument dubbed "too dangerous" by respected musicians. What is Jonathans favorite band? ☞He likes that band. You know? The one where they rose to fame at a young age and had lots of gold records then triumphed over tragedy and then they eveltually broke up after the drummer died. Then later got back together with the drummer's son, who looks just like this lead singer who had one arm. You know? YEAAH thats the one. Can I meet Jonathan someday? ☞It is more likely you will be hit by a bus in an oncoming car down a one way street in down town LA wearing purple on a thursday...and we all know what that means! So you shouldn't be worried about meeting Jonathan you got other problems. Is Jonathan Bi-sexual? ☞Well.......legend goes Jonathan was practicing the kissing scene with Ewan way before the script for Velvet Goldmine was ever written. But this was kept a secret do to the fact that Hollywood doesn't like the responsibility of breaking up young marriages, especially when children are involved. Me? I dont care. You know what the Torque always says..."People is People and a hole is a hole...and if ya have three you can bowl!" Has Jonathan been seeing anyone else since Toni Colette? ☞No, last I have heard of his social life, he was alone in the mountains of new Jabuti with anti bacterial soap. The only thing he does to kill time is make peace signs out of pennies and roll oranges down a hill. He doesn't believe in banks so that's why he makes art out of pennies. Quarters welcome. Hey! Those pennies are older than you! Unless your a bouncer at "The House of Blues." Does Jonathan wear boxers or briefs? ☞I don't know about you but I think Jonathan wears "HangTen" underwear. Reminds him of his time in Hawaii as an orphan pineapple picker. How do you,"Jonny's Girl," aquire so many of Jonathan's movies? ☞Easy. I am Jonathan. But only on Thursdays. What does Jonathan look for in a girl? ☞First of all, he likes girls who run websites about him. She cannot like Chucky or midgets that flip people off. She knows the TRUE value of a penny. And when she picks up a penny she must say: " This was my dream MY WISH! And it didn't come true....So I'm taking it back...I'm takin' them all back." And when she busts U-turns she always says: "MAMA NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOOES!" And of course she knows how to play a mean sandwich. Was Jonathan really an orphan? ☞Yes, this is absolutely true. Jonathan always had a big knot in the back of his hair as a child, which caused him some riddicule in grade school. This being a big child abuse (Cleanliness) issue his mother put Crisco on the knot to try and remove it. Needles to say it didn't work. It just gave his hair some greasy wet out of the shower look and feel 24/7. They tried and tried to remove it but everything failed. The knot remained for some time. Until finally the child protection agency took him away to an orphanage. He visited a doctor who finally cut the hideous knot off. The astonished doctors tested the knot and found it to contain fragments of finger nails, eyelashes, and human teeth. Luckily it was found to be benign. Thank God. That's why Jonathan was in an orphanage. Later they released him back to his parents with a life time supply of Johnson and Johnson no tangles. What happened to the teeth growing in Jonathan's knot? ☞The teeth were later examined and found to be nothing more than fragments of candy corn. Is Jonathan really a model turned actor? Some websites say he is. Is this true? ☞Jonathan was rejected in the fashion industry after a routine cranium x-ray revealed he had a brain. You see modeling only requires 1/2 of a brain. He was over qualified and therefor could never be a model. They suggested he try acting since the statistical analysis showed he could read. But we know otherwise...eh hem...Killer Tongue? Okay....what was Jonathan's most embarrassing moment? ☞Okay, it was when Jonathan went to one of his rebellious young friends court hearings in Dublin (since Jonathan hung out at the pool hall he had made some pretty seedy friends) Anyway He had just made lots of rebel friends and he wanted to let them know he was down wit them and a real cool cat...considering Jonathan was basically just a gopher for the real big boys in the pool hall (Hey thats how they all start out!) He wanted to come down and let others see he was a bad bad boy! He even stole enough cash to buy a boss leather jacket. YEAHHH Jonny was stylin. He thought he was hot rebellious stuff. So when Jonathan got out of the car to go into the courthouse, he didn't realize his jacket got stuck in the car door. Just when things couldn't get worse his friend driving the car, started driving off and Jonny was running along side the car banging on the window. The friend had the radio on so she couldn't hear poor Jonathan screaming like a sissy. But thank God his friend realized and stopped before the car got out of the parking lot. All of the criminal bad boy friends and other cons saw the whole thing and they were all rolling on the ground laughing. Jonny tried to play it cool and laugh it off but it didn't work. Inside he was so embarrassed. From then on he was considered an outcast in the outcast community. Nick name: Jogging Jonny. Even his girlfriend Guahdalupe was at that jail house that morning. The worst part of it was that Jonathan was trying to look all sexy for her. Send your donations. Why did Jonathan drop out of School to hang at jailhouses anyway? Why does he hate the unified public school district? ☞This is a true story. When Jonathan was in first grade, he was obviously a tiny child and very androgynous (stated many times before in interviews) He even looked like a girl and it was hard for teacher to tell since Jonathan is a popular name for girls as well in Ireland. It just so happens he had a really mean teacher named Ms. Marcy. Jonathan says he remembers filling out papers in class and when the paper asked the children to write boy of girl on the paper Ms. Marcy specifically made Jonathan write down "POTLUCK" Ms. Marcy disappeared mysteriously in 1997. Are Jonathan's Lips Really that luscious? Or are the chemically man made like the incredible hulk? ☞Funny you should ask! It just so happens that Jonathan was a relatively small lipped kid until one after noon after 2nd grade when Jonny's brothers surprised after school by taking him on a trip to Blarney Cork To kiss the legendary Blarney Stone Read here to learn the history of the Blarney Stone. Jonathan was very excited his brothers even surprised him with a brand new pair of American Nike Sneakers! (he usually wears Soviet Union sneaker ADIDUMS which are like the American sneaker Adidas but with an extra strip, but for less money you get extra strip is VERY good deal!) Now kissing the stone brings you luck and magic. Now if you know anything about the Blarney Stone, you must be held backwards and upside down in order for the kiss to have magic to work. SO when it was Jonny's turn and his brother held him upside down and around to kiss the stone, his brothers slipped and lost their grip and Jonny's tiny head was caught in the crack, He was wedged in there for an hour crying tiny tears upside down into his nose, they had to feed him crumbs of marble rye to calm him down. When the Paddy Wagon arrived (they have multi purposes in Ireland) to UN-wedge Jonny. The Blarney Stone was not harmed. After the incident Jonathan's lips were swelled and remained to be the luscious kisser you see today! Click to see a PIC of Jonathan kissing the stone. After the whole fiasco the Paddy Wagon feeling very sorry for Jonathan took him down to the gift shop and bought him a T-shirt that read "I kissed the Blarney Stone and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" GOD BLESS THE BLARNEY STONE! What is Jonathan's Fav Dessert? ☞Jonny absolutely loves Twinkies. He had admitted this in many interviews but as a kid growing up in rural County Cork with little ends meet, Jonathan would often eat hot dog buns and pretend they were Twinkies to mentally satisfy his cravings. He even dressed up as the Twinkie Kid on Ol Hallows Eve, He loves them. Please send your donations and Twinkies to Jonathan. Does Jonathan Really have a heart condition? ☞Jonathan was CRAISIN for Cap'n Crunch! He loved the Cap'n. But he didn't like the crunch berries (as all good hearted people do...well good tastebudded people anyway) Jonathan usually cried when his Mom would buy the berries. One day Jonathan's Mother accidentally bought the "OOPS we forgot the rest" which is a cereal with just the despicable crunch berries. One morning Jonathan was just so hungry, so he thought he would just be brave and eat a bowl, what's the harm? Unfortunately this messed him up for life. He lost all bodily functions for a day.,His taste buds also never recovered ,and his heart was weakened forever. His mother may have even eaten the berries while Jonathan was in utero (doctors speculation) Anyway Jonathan was so jacked up (physically and tastebuddidly) that from then on he referred to all Cereal as "Cornflakes" all Carbonated beverages as "POP" and all soup as "Cup O'Noodles" Dems da berries. What is the strangest and most disgusting thing Jonathan has eaten as an afternoon snack? ☞Jonathan's most favorite afternoon snack is an onion sandwich on a home baked white bread (just a raw onion) He will save this treat until any given afternoon he can be seen walking down to the local big two hearted river/watering hole in the pack he found a big onion he sliced it in two and peeled the silky outer skin then he cut one half into slices and made onion sandwiches. He wrapped them in oil paper and buttoned them in the other pocket of his khaki shorts. The pockets bulged against him with the lunch and his fly book. He laid his ROD down (uh huh) moved along to the shady end of the log. And took the sandwiches out of his pocket he dipped the sandwiches in the cold water. The current carried away the crumbs. He ate the sandwiches and dipped his hat full of water to drink, the water running out through his hat just ahead of his drinking. Does Jonathan like to Party? ☞Yes, He does! His favorites are costume parties. In fact during a recent costume shin dig he decided to go as Star Wars villain Darth Maul, he figured it was simple get a dark cloak and some black face paint. Excited at this simple prospect he ran to a costume store and grabbed the first black face paint he found and rushed home to get into costume by covering his face in black paint. After a wonderful party and no SMEARS, Jonathan returned home to wash off his face. After eight (8) washes the paint would not come off. In horror he grabbed the package to read the paints removal directions to realize this was no face paint at all....but TOOTH OUT!!! (an oral paint used to darken teeth for pirate costumes, ARGH!) It took two bars of lava soap and prayer to get it of. Let this be a lesson to you!!!!!!! Does Jonathan ever go online? What's his email address? ☞Hmmm thats a tough one. Contrary to popular belief Jonathan did at one time own a computer and surf the net. It was around 1998 the last time he was on a computer. But due to an almost fatal scare he swore off the online and computers forever. It all happened when Jonathan was on location in Los Angeles for a film (The Maker) . Jonathan was very lonely for his family in Ireland, so his 3 brothers, and guardian saved up and bought and sent Jonathan his very own lap top computer! Fresh with access to the web all paid! Being new to California and the Internet Jonathan wasn't aware of the falseness, ugliness and lies that the computer had (has) to offer. After surfing the net and talking to a webmaster that ran a site about him, they struck up a friendship. Being full of naivete, Jonathan agreed to have the girl who we will call "Jen" come to his trailer on location. What did he have to lose? All he would gain at the least was a cool bud to hang out with. Jonathan recalls this night with fear and remorse. He says it was like any other night, maybe a little cooler than usual. Jonny didn't hear any knock, yet he recalls opening the door to his trailer and seeing a silouette of someone emerge from the darkness...a 5'11 300 pounds someone emerge that is... he could only assume this was "Jen". After suppressing a girly scream, Jonathan composed himself. And being the polite chap he is, decided not to be rude and invite the monster in his trailer. Yet fearing for his trailers safely Jonathan knew he needed to find a solution fast!Jonathan states that Fairuza Balk (his costar in The Maker) saved the day. Since Jonathan and Fairuza had made plans to go over their lines together. She showed up thankfully to make in time to help Jonny. After a polite introduction, Jonathan says he pulled Fairuza in his room and they frantically brainstormed how they could get the humongous onliner far away from them as possible. In all their desperation, all they could muster was an excuse they had to go to the store and buy "fish". So when they nonchalantly told her about the fish, "Jen" stated..."ok I guess I'll go home." From then on Fairuza suggested Jonathan require a photo before he meet people off the Internet. but Jonathan never set mouse online ever again....The trailer was not permanently harmed, It only remained lopsided for a few days,due to a flat tire. So we all have "Jen" to thank for Jonathan not being online. Let this be a warning to YOU! Jonathan stated his parents never gave him enough love? What does he mean? How did he get their attention? ☞Well, not only did Jonathan have to fight for his parents attention, but his siblings' as well. When they would all ignore him as a child, (A Sunday tradition) he would get his sneakers out of the closet kneel and place his knees in the shoes, then cross his arms under his shirt in opposite sleeves and stick out what he could show of his hands and wiggle his fingers and sing/chant in his most obnoxious voice "MIDGET. MIDGET. MIDGET!, MIDGET!, MIDGET!. I AM A MIDGET"!!!! Soon after he was placed in another orphanage. Please send your donations. Was Jonathan always an actor? Did he ever have a normal slum job like the rest of us? ☞What do you think? Of course. Before Jonny broke into the glamorous life of soup commercials and B movie supporting roles, Jonathan worked in a grocery store handing out coupons and food samples to the shoppers. He took a lot of pride in his work very much like his acting. Enough pride to self proclaim himself and his job title a "Sample Associate" (what do you call those people anyway) a title he would put on resumes to come. Sadly he was fired from this prestigous job for refusing to discuss with the shoppers the products and not hand out anymore samples, namely a diaper from Mexico. Jonathan refused to deval‎ue the true meaning of a "sample associate" by not handing out samples or coupons. So he hung up his apron and folding table and moved on to acting. VIVA MEXICO! Whats Jonathan's exercise regimen? ☞Rollerblading with one rollerblade, all around Dublin. He never learned how to skate with both. His father forbid him as a child to skate with both rollerblades. He doesn't take any chances. So if you see that one kid outside with one rollerblade...don't make fun, think of Jonathan and smile. Help JonnysGirl, is Jonathan really engaged? ☞Yes, this is absolutely positively TRUE! The engagement was ages ago, with His longtime live in maid/Dublin party college girl-girlfriend Charlotte Sasha "chacha" Singe [ow! Too hot]! A Very nice girl! Though no immediate plans for the wedding have been strictly made, Jonathan expressed his own desires to have a theme wedding. He has been interviewed to say he wished to have a tea party garden wedding equipped with a fog machine. Jonathan's brother's Jamie, Alan and Paul even wrote a song for the up and coming nuptials, tentatively titled "We loved like bastards." Awww! Aint that love Fido?