[Corrected] I went to the Ilsan Lake Park

[Jim Lee]

Your writing	My corrections
I went to the Ilsan Lake Park I took a TOEIC test yesterday. Although I have prepared that test for one week, I failed to get a good score because of my bad condition. It seems to be very difficult for me to get 900 score in the TOEIC test. When I took this test in March, I thought that I would get 900 score in 2 months. But I failed the test. I lost my confidence concerning the TOEIC test. After taking the test, I went to the Ilsan Lake Park with my girl friend. This Park is the most favorite Park among where I have ever been. I could take a rest while seeing the beautiful Lake. Entering the Park, I watched a car accident. A young boy who was driving a playing car crushed into an ice cream cart. A woman beside the cart was surprised at the accident, and the owner of the cart told him off. He said, “ Where is your mother! Where is your mother!, Bring her to me !” I made many recollections in this Lake. Before I served an army, I worked for a Brain Respiration circle. The center of my circle was near this Park. So our circle’s members practiced the Brain Respiration and played football or basketball in this Park. The surrounding of this park has been changed very much for 4 years. There were few buildings around the Park, but we can’t see the unblocked sky any longer.	I went to the Ilsan Lake Park today. I took the a TOEIC test yesterday. Although I hadve prepared for that test for one week, I failed to get a good score because of my bad condition. It seems to be very difficult for me to get a 900 score in the TOEIC test. When I took this test in March, I thought that I would get a 900 score in 2 months, . Bbut I failed to get it the test. I lost my confidence concerning the TOEIC test. After taking the test, I went to the Ilsan Lake Park with my girl- friend. This Park is the my most favorite Park among all the places where I have ever been to. I could take a rest while seeing the beautiful Lake there. Entering the Park, I watched a car accident. A young boy who was driving a playing toy car craushed into an ice cream cart. A woman beside the cart was surprised at the accident, and the owner of the cart told him off. He said, “ Where is your mother! Where is your mother!, Bring her to me !” I made many recollections in this Lake. Before I served in the an army, I worked for a Brain Respiration club circle. The center of my club circle was near this Park. So our club circle’s members practiced the Brain Respiration and played football or basketball in this Park. The surroundings of this park haves been changed very much in the last for 4 years. There are were only a few buildings around the Park, but we can’t see the unblocked sky any longer.
Comment: Excellent writing!  Personal Comment: I have been to the park and it is a nice place to go.  I guess you live in Ilsan.