영어 JOKE 모음

[find myself]

A woman wanting to surpise her husband,
she puts on a wig and a new suit and new makeup, and then visited her husband. In his office,
she flirts with him and said: "Hi, handsome, do you
want to ....." He takes a look at her, and immediately
interupted her and said: "No! I don't.
you reminds me of my wife."

*****

An old cowboy, dressed in a cowboy shirt, jeans,
ten gallon hat, spurs, and chaps was sitting
in a bar sipping his whiskey when a beautiful young woman
walked in and sat down next to him.
After a few minutes she turned to the cowboy and asked,
"Are you a real cowboy"?

"Well," he replied, "I've spent my whole life
on the ranch, herding cattle, breaking horses,
mending fences and such, so I reckon I am."

After a short time he turned to the young woman
and asked, "What're you, young lady?"

"I've never been on a ranch", she replied,
"so I'm certainly no cowboy. I'm a lesbian",
she went on. "I've spent my whole life thinking about
other women. As soon as I get up in the
morning I start to think of women. When I eat I think of women.
When I shower I think of women.
When I watch TV I think of women.
When I sleep I dream of women.
Everything seems to make me think of women."
A short time later the young woman left
and an older couple came in and sat down next to the
cowboy. In a few minutes they turned to the cowboy
and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought that I was,
but I just found out that I'm a lesbian!"

*********

An elder butler of the emperor (A castrated
man working for the emperor) saw Mr. Ji wearing
leather jacket and holding a fan (A custom of scholars).
The butler says to Mr. Ji : "Little scholar,
wear leather, hold summer fan, have you read
the book Spring and Autumn?"

Mr. Ji hears the butler's southern accent
and replies: " Old butler, born in the South,
Comes to North, is that thing still with you?"

On another day, Mr. Ji is out walking with friends,
he says to his friends that he can make the woman,
the owner of a restaurant, laugh with one sentence
and then makes her angry with another sentence.
They don't believe him, so they
put the bet on a table of banquet.

Mr. Ji then walks to doorway of the store and towards
the watch dog in front of the store and says:
"Dad!" ; The woman paused a moment, and then
covers her mouth and laughs. Mr. Ji then walks
towards her and also towards the woman
and says :" Mom!" ......

Therefore, he wins a table of banquet.

*********
 
 

An old maiden needs a well draft by a lawyer.
she said: "I have 1 million dollar, I'm planning to spend
800 thousand on my burial.  When I was alive,
nobody cared for me, after I died, I want everone in the
town to see my expensive burial."
Lawyer asked: "What to do with the remainder 200 thousand?"
She replied: "Nobody loved me, I want to spend it on a
romantic experience in bed....!"
After the lawyer returned home and talked to his wife about
the burial, his wife encouraged him to voulunteer for the
200 thousand dollar.
Next day, they drove to the old maiden's house.  The lawyer
gets off and told his wife to come pick him up in 2 hours...
Two hours later, she waited in the car for a long time, but
he still does'nt appear, so she honks on the phone.  Later,
he stuck his head out of a window in the house and said:
"Come get me in 4 days, she decided to have a economical
burial instead...."

[Cerry hill.]

휴,,알고싶다 ㅋㅋ

[퍼플레인]

^^;;;

[무명초]

영어는 잘 못하지만 내가 이해한데로 한번....▶1번: 마눌님이 남편을 놀래켜 주려고 가발쓰고 화장하고 새옷입고 변장해서 남편의 사무실로가서 다른여자 처럼 행동하며 유혹 했어요 "자기 나랑 연해 한번 어때?"...남자가 여자를 한번 쭈욱 훑어보고 여자보고 말하길 "당신은 우리 와이프 닮아 싫어 꺼져~"....^^;

[무명초]

▶2번: 카우보이 복장으로 한껏 치장한 어떤 늙은 카우보기가 술집에 들어가 술을 마실때 어떤 젊은 여자가 술집에 들어 그의 옆에 앉아서 늙은 카우보이게 물었어여..."당신 진짜로 카우보이야?"....그가 말하길 "글쎄...나는 내생에 전부를 소를 몰고, 말을 길들이고, 울타리를 고치고 그런 목장일들을 하며 대농장에서 보냈어. 그러니까 내가 진짜 카우보이 일꺼야...그런데 젊은 아가씨 당신은 뭐하는 사람이지?"...여자가 답하길 "저는 농장에서 지낸적이 없어니까 확실이 카우보이는 아니고 레즈비언이에요.."....

[무명초]

여자는 계속 말을 이어갔다 "나는 생활의 대부분을 다른 여자들을 생각하며 보냈어요. 눈뜨자마자 여자생각,밥먹을때도 여자생각,샤워하고 TV 볼때도 여자생각,그리고 심지어 잠 잘때도 다른 여자를 꿈꾸어요. 생활속 모든게 오직 여자 생각 밖에 없어요.." 그렇게말하고 잠시후 그 젊은 여자가 가게를 나갔고 그리고 어떤 노부부가 들어와 그의 옆에 앉았다. 그리고 잠시후 그 카우보이에게 물어보길 "당신 진짜 카우보이야?"......그가 대답하길..."난 내가 늘 카우보이라고 생각하고 살았는데...그런데 조금 전에 내가 레즈비언이라는걸 막 알게 되었어...".....^^;

[아티tp]

잠깐 웃기 위해서 한참이 걸리는 군요 ...에혀ㅡㅡ::

[sjdkjid]

영어로 되도 읽고 웃게된 제 자신이 신기해요 ㅋㅋ

[Blade]

ㅎㅎㅎ 솔직히 잘 이해가 가지는 않지만 다들 잼있다니까 뭐 ㅋㅋㅋ

[후르츠지영]

1번읽고 말았는데... 무명초 님이 도움을 주네요

[개미짱]

ㅜㅜ

[짱태!]

에고 빨리 공부 열심히 해야것다ㅠ

[SIMPLE]

흑..ㅠ

[사과빙수]

오마이갓~~~

[다이죠부]

ㅋㅋㅋ 왜 읽을수록 나는 심각해 지는걸까 .... ㅋㅋ

[지겨운영어]

아이고....

[miss lee]

영어 울렁증,,, 일단 읽기 싫음,,,, 어쩌나,,,,,

[황미1]

ㅍ.ㅠ

[황미1]

ㅍ.ㅠ

[키쮸미]

....뭐이건 웃어야 되 말아야 해 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[해피호야]

왠지 읽기 싫다.. 이러면 안되느데,,

[Natasha]

댓글 슬픔 ㅠㅠ

[대성이랑]

밑쪽에 해석있겠지 싶어 게속 스크롤바 내렸어요.ㅠㅠㅋㅋㅋ

[그야말로굿이오]

님하.. ㅜㅜ

[CHARLIE]

ㅠㅠㅠ

[에어워크]

재미있습니다.

[럭셜한밤]

언제쯤이면 직접 이해할수잇을까요?ㅋ

[Angel999]

ㅠ.ㅠ 급 좌절.....

[건강]

웃겼어요~~

[이 한]

아/..

[강남경]

음 그냥 스크롤만 내리고 싶어지는 마음 ㅎㅎ