성화학생(2세)의 길 - 208 - 의식주 생활

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성화학생의 길 - 208
제6장 선생님의 학창시절
제2절 선생님의 서울 학생시절 

1) 의식주 생활

선생님은 중학교 때 서울에 와서 학교를 다녔습니다. (153-33)

선생님이 고향을 18세부터 떠나 지금까지 고향을 잃어버리고 사탄 세계를 수습하기 위해 일생을 거쳐 나오고 있습니다. (147-253)

학생시절에 자취생활을 했습니다. 7년 동안 혼자 자취생활을 했습니다. 서울이 요즘엔 날이 좋지만 그때는 겨울에 영하 21도, 평균 영하 15도가 될 만큼 추웠습니다.

우물에서 두레박질을 할 때, 쇠두레박질을 하게 되면 끈이 끊어지곤 했습니다. 그런 때에 찬 방에서 사는 겁니다. 찬 방에서 자취하면서 사는 것입니다. 중학교, 고등학교 시절에는 찬 방에서 잠을 잤습니다. 그때 요를 찬 방에다 깔고 자다가 아침에 일어나면 그냥 그대로 판이 박힙니다.

이게 일주일을 지워도 안 지워집니다. 무늬가 돋는 판입니다. 추우니까 할 수 없이 전깃줄을 전원에 연결해 열을 내게 해서 썼으나 다리가 탔습니다. 지금 선생님 다리를 보면 여기저기 흠이 있습니다. 다리를 볼 적마다 그때가 생각납니다. 그렇게 절약해서 학비를 못 내는 친구들을 도와 주기도 했습니다. 어떤 때는 손수레를 끌기도 했습니다. (137-283, 51-262)

선생님은 중학교 시절에 점심을 안 먹었습니다. 밥이 없어서 안 먹은 것이 아니라 배고픈 사람의 사정을 알기 위해서였습니다. 평상시에 수양해 놔야 된다 생각해서 그랬다는 겁니다.

그때는 그저 먹고도 또 먹고 싶은 한창 때입니다. 그런 때에 점심을 안 먹었으니 점심때 밥을 그리워하는 마음이 복잡하더라 이겁니다. 친구들은 도시락을 가지고 와서 먹고 있는데, 먼 데 혼자 앉아서 밥도 안 먹고 명상하는 그 자리는 심각한 자리입니다. (50- 308)

선생님은 선생님 자신에 대해서는 참 깍쟁이입니다. 30세 전까지는 새 양복을 사 입은 적이 없습니다. 고물상에 가서 헌옷을 사 입었습니다. 옷은 전부 다 학생복인데 꿰매 입었습니다.

서울 네거리 고물상에 가서 학생들이 입다가 찾아가지 않은 것, 전부 다 옷깃에 때 묻은 것, 기름때 묻은 것, 냄새나는 것을 일부러 택하는 것입니다. 머리는 아무렇게나 하고, 세수도 안 하고, 면도도 안 하고 사는 것입니다.

그리고 어디 다니더라도 아무거나 다 할 줄 합니다. 팬티도 다 만들어 입었습니다. 혼자 살아도 뜻을 이루어야 되겠다 이겁니다. 그 나머지로 불쌍한 사람을 도와준 사람입니다. 애국자의 가정에 남편이 수욕을 당하든가 어려움이 있으면 이름도 없이 도와주기도 했습니다. 그런 생활을 해왔습니다. (51-262, 31-260, 137-285)

二世の道 - 208
第6章 先生の学生時代
第2節 先生のソウルでの学生時代

1) 衣食住生活

私は幼いとき、中学校のとき、ソウルに来て学校に通いました。（一五三・三三）

先生は故郷を一八歳のときから去って、今まで故郷を忘れてサタン世界を収拾するために、人生を懸けてきたのです。（一四七・二五三）

学生時代に自炊生活をしました。七年間一人で自炊生活をしました。ソウルはこの頃は天気が良いけれど、そのときには、零下二一度、平均零下一五度以下で、寒いときでした。

寒かったのです、そのときは、井戸で水を汲むとき、鉄のつるべで水を汲むとひもがよく切れたのです。冷たい部屋で生活するのです。中学校、高等学校時代は冷たい部屋で寝ました。その頃は今より寒かったのです。

そのときには、布団の布袋を冷たい部屋に敷いて寝て、朝にパッと起きてみると、ベタッとそのまま跡が刻まれているのです。これが一週間過ぎても消えないのです。模様がついている跡なのです。ですから、火を炊かないで生活する若い青年は悲惨だ、と考えるかもしれません。

寒いから仕方なく電気のコードを使ったのですが、今見ればあちこち傷があるというのです、火傷をして。それを見るとき、私は忘れません。足を見るたびごとに、母にこんなことは言わないのですが、私の体に傷ができたのです。そのように節約をして、友人たちが学費を出せない分を私が担うために、あるときには荷車を引いて…。（一三七・二八三、五一・二六二）

先生は中学校時代に昼食を食べませんでした。お金がないから食べないのではなく、お腹がすいた人の事情を知るためでした。また、ご飯がないからそうしたのではありません。修養する者たちは、人生を通じて、平常時に修養しておかなければならないと思って…。そのときは、何があっても食べることが楽しみだったのです。

ただ、食べてもまた食べたいときです。そんなときに昼食を食べなかったのですから、昼食のとき、ご飯を慕う心は複雑なのです。友人たちは弁当を持ってきて食べているのに、私は遠いところに一人座って、ご飯も食べないで瞑想するその場は深刻な場だというのです。（五〇・三〇八）

先生は、先生自身に対しては本当にけちなのです。私が三〇歳までは、学生時代にも新しい洋服を買って着たことがありません。古物商に行って古着を買って着ました。服は全部学生服ですが、継ぎを当てて着ました。

古物商、ソウルの交差点にある古物商に行って、学生たちが着て持っていかないもの、皆襟にあかが付いたもの、油あかが付いたもの、臭いがするものをわざと選ぶのです。髪はできるだけこうして、顔も洗わないで、なるべく髭も剃らないで、なぜ？　

どこに行ったとしても何でもできるのです。パンツみたいなものも、そのまま全部作って着るのです。一人で暮らしても、み旨を成し遂げなければならないということなのです、一人で暮らしても。

そして、その残ったものでかわいそうな人を助けてあげた人です。あるいは愛国者の家族に、夫が恥辱を受けるなど困難があれば、名もなく助けてあげた人です。そんな生活をしてきたのです。（五一・二六二、三一・二六〇、一三七・二八五）

The Way For Students - 208
Chapter 6. Reverend Moon's Student Days
Section 2. Father's Student Days In Seoul

1) Father's Life In Terms Of Clothes, Food, And Living Circumstances

When I was young I came to Seoul to enter middle school. (153-33)

I left my hometown at the age of 18, and I risked my life in order to restore the Satanic world by forgetting about it. (147-253)

In my student days I did my own cooking for seven years. In those days Seoul was very cold. Although it has good weather these days, in those days the temperatures reached minus 20 degrees Centigrade, and on the average it was minus 15 degrees Centigrade. It was that cold in Seoul. When we got water from the well often the string broke because of the weight of the iron bucket with water in it.

We also had to live in a very cold room. In my days as a middle and high school student I slept in a very cold room. It was colder then than it is now.

I put my sleeping bag in a cold room and slept, and when I woke up in the morning there was a mark on the floor that did not disappear even after one week.

So you may think I was miserable as a young man having to live without heat. When it was very cold I used electric heating. I often got burnt here and there.

I'll never forget that. I never said that to my mother. But I had burns on various parts of my body. I also economized my living expenses and saved money so that I could pay for my friend's school expenses. So in order to make money, I sometimes worked by pulling a wagon or a cart with baggage. (137-283, 51-262)

In my middle school days I did not eat lunch, not because I had no money but because I wanted to know how the hungry felt. Also, I did not eat lunch because there was no food. I did that because I felt I had to train myself during the normal days of my life.

In those days it was a great pleasure to do that, even greater than eating something. Young people naturally want to eat as much as they can. Still on my own volition I did not eat lunch. At lunch time it was very difficult to control my desire for food. While my friends ate their lunches, I sat in a remote comer not eating, just meditating. It was a serous place. (50-308)

I am very stingy toward myself Until I turned 30, 1 never bought a new suit. I would always buy a secondhand suit in a secondhand store and wear it. In my student days all my clothes were student uniforms. I patched them when necessary and continued to wear them.

I often went to a secondhand shop in Seoul and purposely chose the uniforms which other students would not dare to choose because they were too old, stained with oil, or too smelly. Also, I did not get my hair cut, nor did I shave.

Why? Because in that way I was able to do whatever I wanted wherever I went. I made all my own undershirts and underpants. I did that because I wanted to train myself so that I could do the will of God even if I had to live alone.

So, by living in that way and saving money I helped many poor and miserable people. And sometimes when the families of patriots in the resistance movement had difficulties because the husband was in prison, and so on, I went to help the family members without giving my name. I lived such a life. (51-262,31-260,137-235)