PART 5 // chapter 5-3

[모나리자]

그리고 그녀는 거의 울음을 터뜨렸지만—그녀의 끊임없고 빠른 이야기의 흐름을 멈추지 않았다—울고 있는 아이들을 가리켰다. 라스콜니코프는 그녀에게 집으로 돌아가라고 설득하려 했고, 심지어 그녀의 허영심을 채우기 위해 기숙 학교의 교장이 되려고 하면서 오르간 연주자처럼 거리를 돌아다니는 것은 어울리지 않는다고 말했다. "기숙 학교, 하하하! 공중에 떠 있는 성이에요." 카테리나 이바노브나가 소리쳤고, 그녀의 웃음은 기침으로 끝났다. "아니, 로디온 로마노비치, 그 꿈은 끝났어! 모두가 우리를 버렸어!... 그리고 그 장군... 알다시피, 로디온 로마노비치, 나는 그에게 잉크병을 던졌어—그것은 우연히 당신이 이름을 쓰는 종이 옆 대기실에 서 있었어.

나는 내 이름을 쓰고, 그에게 던지고 도망쳤어. 오, 악당들, 악당들! 하지만 그만하고, 이제 내가 직접 아이들을 부양할게, 누구에게도 절하지 않을 거야! 그녀는 우리를 위해 충분히 참아야 했어!" 그녀는 소냐를 가리켰다. "폴렌카, 얼마나 있어? 보여줘! 뭐, 겨우 두 파딩이야! 오, 못된 놈들! 그들은 우리에게 아무것도 주지 않고, 그저 혀를 내밀며 우리를 쫓아다닐 뿐이야.

저기, 저 멍청이는 뭘 보고 웃는 거야?" (그녀는 군중 속의 한 남자를 가리켰다.) "그게 다 콜야가 너무 멍청해서야. 그 녀석 때문에 정말 골치 아프거든. 폴렌카, 넌 뭘 원하는 거야? 프랑스어로 말해, parlez-moi français. 왜, 내가 가르쳐 줬잖아. 넌 몇 가지 구절을 알고 있잖아. 그렇지 않으면 네가 좋은 집안이고, 잘 자란 아이들이고, 다른 오르간 연주자들과 전혀 다르다는 걸 어떻게 보여줄 수 있겠어? 우리는 거리에서 펀치 앤 주디 쇼를 하려는 게 아니라, 상류층 노래를 부르려고... 아, 맞아... 우리는 무슨 노래를 부르려고?

당신은 계속 나를 밀어내지만, 우리는... 알다시피, 우리는 여기 서 있는 거야, 로디온 로마노비치, 노래할 것을 찾고 돈을 벌기 위해, 콜랴가 춤출 수 있는 것을... 상상할 수 있겠지만, 우리의 공연은 모두 즉흥적이거든... 우리는 그것에 대해 이야기하고 모든 것을 철저히 연습해야 해, 그리고 나서 네프스키로 갈 거야, 거기에는 훨씬 더 많은 좋은 사회 구성원들이 있고, 우리는 즉시 눈에 띄게 될 거야. 리다는 '나의 마을'만 알고, '나의 마을' 외에는 아무것도 모르고, 모두가 그것을 부르지. 우리는 훨씬 더 품위 있는 것을 불러야 해... 글쎄, 뭔가 생각해냈어, 폴렌카? 네가 네 어머니를 도와주기만 한다면! 내 기억은 완전히 사라졌어, 아니면 뭔가 생각해냈어야지.

우리는 정말 '후사르'를 부를 수 없어. 아, 프랑스어로 '생 수'를 부르자, 내가 가르쳐줬어, 내가 가르쳐줬어. 그리고 프랑스어로 되어 있기 때문에, 사람들은 당신이 좋은 가문의 자녀라는 것을 금방 알아차릴 것이고, 그것은 훨씬 더 감동적일 것입니다... 당신은 'Marlborough s'en va-t-en guerre'를 부를 수 있을 것입니다. 그것은 아주 어린아이의 노래이고 모든 귀족 가문에서 자장가로 불립니다. "Marlborough s'en va-t-en guerre Ne sait quand reviendra..." 그녀가 노래를 시작했습니다. "하지만 아니요, 'Cinq sous'를 부르는 게 낫습니다. 이제, 콜야, 허리에 손을 얹고 서둘러, 그리고 너, 리다, 계속 다른 방향으로 돌아, 그리고 폴렌카와 나는 노래하고 박수를 치겠습니다!

"Cinq sous, cinq sous Pour monter notre menage." (헛기침-헛기침!) "드레스를 똑바로 입어, 폴렌카, 어깨 위로 미끄러졌어." 그녀가 기침으로 인해 헐떡이며 관찰했습니다. "이제 특히 착하고 상냥하게 행동해야 합니다. 모두가 여러분이 잘 태어난 아이라는 것을 알 수 있도록요. 그때 제가 몸통을 더 길게 자르고 두 폭으로 만들어야 한다고 말했잖아요. 몸통을 더 짧게 만들라는 조언은 당신의 잘못이었고, 지금은 아이가 그것 때문에 상당히 기형이 되었어요... 어머,

다시 울고 있잖아! 뭐가 문제야, 바보들? 어서, 콜야, 시작해. 서둘러, 서둘러! 오, 참을 수 없는 아이야!" 싱크 수스, 싱크 수스. "또 경찰관이야! 뭘 원하는 거야?"

경찰관이 실제로 군중을 뚫고 나아갔다. 하지만 그 순간 민간인 제복과 외투를 입은 신사가 다가와서 아무 말 없이 그녀에게 녹색 3루블 지폐를 건넸다. 그의 얼굴은 진심으로 동정하는 표정을 띠고 있었다. 카테리나 이바노브나는 그것을 받아 그에게 정중하고 심지어 의식적인 절을 했습니다. "감사합니다, 존경하는 선생님." 그녀가 거만하게 시작했습니다. "우리를 부추긴 원인들(돈을 가져가세요, 폴렌카:

보시다시피, 곤경에 처한 가난한 신사 숙녀를 도울 준비가 된 관대하고 명예로운 사람들이 있습니다). 보시다시피, 존경하는 선생님, 이 고아들은—심지어 귀족적 연줄이라고 할 수도 있겠지만—그리고 그 비열한 장군은 뇌조를 먹고 앉아... 제가 그를 방해하는 것을 보고 으르렁거렸습니다. '각하,' 내가 말했습니다. '고아들을 보호해 주세요. 당신은 제 고인이 된 남편 세묜 자하로비치를 알고 계셨고, 그가 죽는 바로 그날 가장 비열한 악당이 그의 외동딸을 비방했습니다.'...

또 그 경찰이! 날 보호해 줘." 그녀는 공무원에게 소리쳤다. "왜 그 경찰이 내게 다가오지? 우리는 방금 그 중 한 명에게서 도망쳤어. 뭘 원하는 거야, 바보야?" "거리에서는 금지야. 소란을 피워선 안 돼." "소란을 피우는 거야.

내가 오르간을 갈고 있는 것과 똑같아. 그게 너한테 무슨 상관이야?" "장기를 만들려면 면허가 필요한데, 면허가 없어. 그러면 군중이 모이잖아. 어디에 묵어?" "뭐, 면허?" 카테리나 이바노브나가 통곡했다. "오늘 남편을 장례 지냈어. 면허가 왜 필요해?" "진정하세요, 부인, 진정하세요." 공무원이 말을 시작했다. "어서 오세요. 내가 안내해 드릴게요... 군중 속에 있는 네가 있을 자리는 아니야.

당신은 아프시네요." "존경하는 선생님, 존경하는 선생님, 당신은 모르시죠." 카테리나 이바노브나가 소리쳤다. "우리는 네프스키로 간다... 소냐, 소냐! 그녀는 어디에 있지? 그녀도 울고 있어! 너희들 왜 그래? 콜랴, 리다, 어디 가는 거야?" 그녀는 갑자기 놀라서 소리쳤다. "오, 어리석은 아이들! 콜랴, 리다, 그들은 어디로 가는 거야?..." 콜랴와 리다는 군중과 엄마의 미친 장난에 정신을 잃고 갑자기 서로의 손을 잡고 어딘가로 데려가려는 경찰관을 보고 달려갔다.

가련한 카테리나 이바노브나는 울고 통곡하며 그들을 뒤쫓았다. 그녀는 달리면서 울고 숨을 헐떡이며 가련하고 흉측한 광경이었다. 소냐와 폴렌카가 그들을 뒤쫓았다.

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And she, almost crying herself—which did not stop her uninterrupted, rapid flow of talk—pointed to the crying children. Raskolnikov tried to persuade her to go home, and even said, hoping to work on her vanity, that it was unseemly for her to be wandering about the streets like an organ-grinder, as she was intending to become the principal of a boarding-school. “A boarding-school, ha-ha-ha! A castle in the air,” cried Katerina Ivanovna, her laugh ending in a cough. “No, Rodion Romanovitch, that dream is over! All have forsaken us!... And that general.... You know, Rodion Romanovitch, I threw an inkpot at him—it happened to be standing in the waiting-room by the paper where you sign your name.

I wrote my name, threw it at him and ran away. Oh, the scoundrels, the scoundrels! But enough of them, now I’ll provide for the children myself, I won’t bow down to anybody! She has had to bear enough for us!” she pointed to Sonia. “Polenka, how much have you got? Show me! What, only two farthings! Oh, the mean wretches! They give us nothing, only run after us, putting their tongues out.

There, what is that blockhead laughing at?” (She pointed to a man in the crowd.) “It’s all because Kolya here is so stupid; I have such a bother with him. What do you want, Polenka? Tell me in French, parlez-moi français. Why, I’ve taught you, you know some phrases. Else how are you to show that you are of good family, well brought-up children, and not at all like other organ-grinders? We aren’t going to have a Punch and Judy show in the street, but to sing a genteel song.... Ah, yes,... What are we to sing?

You keep putting me out, but we... you see, we are standing here, Rodion Romanovitch, to find something to sing and get money, something Kolya can dance to.... For, as you can fancy, our performance is all impromptu.... We must talk it over and rehearse it all thoroughly, and then we shall go to Nevsky, where there are far more people of good society, and we shall be noticed at once. Lida knows ‘My Village’ only, nothing but ‘My Village,’ and everyone sings that. We must sing something far more genteel.... Well, have you thought of anything, Polenka? If only you’d help your mother! My memory’s quite gone, or I should have thought of something.

We really can’t sing ‘An Hussar.’ Ah, let us sing in French, ‘Cinq sous,’ I have taught it you, I have taught it you. And as it is in French, people will see at once that you are children of good family, and that will be much more touching.... You might sing ‘Marlborough s’en va-t-en guerre,’ for that’s quite a child’s song and is sung as a lullaby in all the aristocratic houses. “Marlborough s’en va-t-en guerre Ne sait quand reviendra...” she began singing. “But no, better sing ‘Cinq sous.’ Now, Kolya, your hands on your hips, make haste, and you, Lida, keep turning the other way, and Polenka and I will sing and clap our hands!

“Cinq sous, cinq sous Pour monter notre menage.” (Cough-cough-cough!) “Set your dress straight, Polenka, it’s slipped down on your shoulders,” she observed, panting from coughing. “Now it’s particularly necessary to behave nicely and genteelly, that all may see that you are well-born children. I said at the time that the bodice should be cut longer, and made of two widths. It was your fault, Sonia, with your advice to make it shorter, and now you see the child is quite deformed by it.... Why,

you’re all crying again! What’s the matter, stupids? Come, Kolya, begin. Make haste, make haste! Oh, what an unbearable child! “Cinq sous, cinq sous. “A policeman again! What do you want?”

A policeman was indeed forcing his way through the crowd. But at that moment a gentleman in civilian uniform and an overcoat—a solid-looking official of about fifty with a decoration on his neck (which delighted Katerina Ivanovna and had its effect on the policeman)—approached and without a word handed her a green three-rouble note. His face wore a look of genuine sympathy. Katerina Ivanovna took it and gave him a polite, even ceremonious, bow. “I thank you, honoured sir,” she began loftily. “The causes that have induced us (take the money, Polenka:

you see there are generous and honourable people who are ready to help a poor gentlewoman in distress). You see, honoured sir, these orphans of good family—I might even say of aristocratic connections—and that wretch of a general sat eating grouse... and stamped at my disturbing him. ‘Your excellency,’ I said, ‘protect the orphans, for you knew my late husband, Semyon Zaharovitch, and on the very day of his death the basest of scoundrels slandered his only daughter.’...

That policeman again! Protect me,” she cried to the official. “Why is that policeman edging up to me? We have only just run away from one of them. What do you want, fool?” “It’s forbidden in the streets. You mustn’t make a disturbance.” “It’s you’re making a disturbance.

It’s just the same as if I were grinding an organ. What business is it of yours?” “You have to get a licence for an organ, and you haven’t got one, and in that way you collect a crowd. Where do you lodge?” “What, a license?” wailed Katerina Ivanovna. “I buried my husband to-day. What need of a license?” “Calm yourself, madam, calm yourself,” began the official. “Come along; I will escort you.... This is no place for you in the crowd.

You are ill.” “Honoured sir, honoured sir, you don’t know,” screamed Katerina Ivanovna. “We are going to the Nevsky.... Sonia, Sonia! Where is she? She is crying too! What’s the matter with you all? Kolya, Lida, where are you going?” she cried suddenly in alarm. “Oh, silly children! Kolya, Lida, where are they off to?...” Kolya and Lida, scared out of their wits by the crowd, and their mother’s mad pranks, suddenly seized each other by the hand, and ran off at the sight of the policeman who wanted to take them away somewhere.

Weeping and wailing, poor Katerina Ivanovna ran after them. She was a piteous and unseemly spectacle, as she ran, weeping and panting for breath. Sonia and Polenka rushed after them.

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