PART 5 // chapter 5-4

[모나리자]

"돌려 보내, 데려와, 소냐! 오, 멍청하고 은혜를 모르는 자식들!... 폴렌카! 잡아.... 너희들을 위해서야..." 그녀는 달리면서 비틀거리며 쓰러졌다. "그녀가 자해했어, 피가 났어! 오, 세상에!" 소냐가 그녀 위로 몸을 숙이며 소리쳤다. 모두가 달려와서 그녀 주변에 몰려들었다. 라스콜니코프와 레베지아트니코프가 그녀 옆에 먼저 왔고, 공무원도 서둘러 왔고, 그 뒤에는 경찰관이 "귀찮아!"라고 중얼거리며 참을성이 없다는 듯한 몸짓을 했다.

그 일이 힘들 것 같다는 것을 느꼈다.

"넘어가! 넘겨!" 그는 앞으로 밀려오는 군중에게 말했다. "그녀가 죽어가고 있어." 누군가가 소리쳤다. "그녀가 정신이 나갔어." 다른 사람이 말했다. "주여, 우리에게 자비를 베푸소서." 한 여성이 십자가를 그으며 말했다. "그들이 어린 소녀와 소년을 잡았어? 그들은 데려오고 있어요, 큰 놈이 데려갔어요... 아, 못된 꼬마들!" 카테리나 이바노브나를 주의 깊게 살펴보니, 소냐가 생각했던 것처럼 돌에 베인 것이 아니라, 포장도로를 붉게 물들인 피가 그녀의 가슴에서 나온 것이라는 것을 알았습니다.

"저는 전에도 봤어요." 공무원이 라스콜니코프와 레베지아트니코프에게 중얼거렸습니다. "그건 소모증이에요. 피가 흘러서 환자를 질식시키는 거예요. 얼마 전에 제 친척에게서도 같은 것을 봤어요... 1분 만에 거의 1파인트의 피가... 하지만 어떻게 해야 할까요? 그녀가 죽어가고 있어요." "이쪽으로, 이쪽으로, 제 방으로!" 소냐가 간청했습니다. "저는 여기 살아요!... 보세요, 저 집, 여기서 두 번째 집.... 내게 와요, 서둘러요." 그녀는 한 쪽에서 다른 쪽으로 돌아섰습니다. "의사를 불러요! 오, 세상에!"

공무원의 노력 덕분에 이 계획이 채택되었고, 경찰관은 카테리나 이바노브나를 옮기는 데 도움을 주었습니다. 그녀는 거의 의식을 잃은 채로 소냐의 방으로 옮겨져 침대에 눕혀졌습니다. 피는 여전히 흐르고 있었지만 그녀는 제정신이 드는 듯했습니다. 라스콜니코프, 레베지아트니코프, 그리고 공무원이 소냐와 함께 방으로 들어갔고, 경찰관이 뒤따라 들어왔는데, 경찰관은 먼저 군중을 몰아내어 문까지 따라왔습니다.

폴렌카가 떨고 울고 있던 콜야와 리다를 안고 들어왔습니다.

카페르나우모프 부부의 방에서도 여러 사람이 들어왔습니다. 집주인, 수염과 빗처럼 곤두선 머리카락을 가진 이상하게 생긴 절름발이 외눈박이 남자, 그의 아내, 영원히 무서워하는 표정을 한 여자, 그리고 놀란 표정을 한 입을 벌린 아이들 몇 명이었습니다. 이들 가운데 스비드리가일로프가 갑자기 나타났습니다. 라스콜니코프는 그가 어디에서 왔는지 이해하지 못하고 군중 속에서 그를 알아차리지 못한 채 그를 놀란 표정으로 바라보았습니다.

의사이자 사제가 언급되었습니다. 공무원은 라스콜니코프에게 지금은 의사에게 너무 늦었다고 생각하지만, 그를 불러오라고 명령했다고 속삭였다. 카페르나우모프는 스스로 달려갔다. 그동안 카테리나 이바노브나는 숨을 되찾았다. 출혈은 잠시 멈췄다. 그녀는 병들었지만 의도적이고 날카로운 눈으로 소냐를 바라보았다. 소냐는 창백하고 떨면서 손수건으로 이마의 땀을 닦고 있었다. 마침내 그녀는 일어나라고 했다. 그들은 그녀를 침대에 앉히고 양쪽에서 그녀를 부축했다.

"아이들은 어디 있지?" 그녀는 희미한 목소리로 말했다. "네가 데려왔어, 폴렌카? 오, 바보들! 왜 도망쳤어.... 오흐!" 다시 한 번 그녀의 타들어간 입술이 피로 뒤덮였다. 그녀는 눈을 움직여 주변을 둘러보았다. "그렇게 사는구나, 소냐! 네 방에 한 번도 온 적이 없어." 그녀는 고통스러운 얼굴로 그녀를 바라보았다. "우리가 네 파멸이었어, 소냐. 폴렌카, 리다, 콜야, 이리 와! 음, 여기 있어, 소니아, 다 가져가! 널 넘겨줄게, 난 충분히 참았어! 공은 끝났어." (헛기침!) "날 눕혀, 평화롭게 죽게 내버려둬."

그들은 그녀를 베개에 눕혔다. "뭐, 신부? 난 그 사람을 원치 않아. 넌 루블 한 푼도 아끼지 않았잖아. 난 죄가 없어. 신께서 그걸 없이도 날 용서해 주셔야 해. 그는 내가 얼마나 고통받았는지 알고 있어... 그리고 그가 날 용서하지 않으시더라도, 난 상관없어!" 그녀는 점점 더 불안한 섬망에 빠져들었다. 그녀는 때때로 몸을 떨고, 눈을 좌우로 돌리고, 잠깐 동안 모든 사람을 알아보았지만, 곧바로 다시 섬망에 빠져들었다. 그녀의 호흡은 쉰 목소리로 힘들었고, 목구멍에서 일종의 덜거덕거리는 소리가 났다. "나는 그에게 말했습니다, 각하." 그녀는 매 단어마다 헐떡이며 사정했다.

"아말리아 루드비고브나, 아! 리다, 콜야, 엉덩이에 손을 얹고, 서둘러! 반짝이, 반짝이! 바스크어를 타자! 발꿈치로 두드리고, 우아한 아이가 되어라! "Du hast Diamanten und Perlen "다음은 뭐야? 노래할 거야. "Du hast die schonsten Augen Madchen, was willst du mehr? "얼마나 좋은 생각인가! Was willst du mehr? 바보가 무슨 생각을 하는 거지! 아, 맞아! "다게스탄 계곡의 한낮의 더위 속에서. "아, 얼마나 좋아했어! 그 노래를 너무 좋아해서 정신이 아플 정도였어, 폴렌카! 네 아버지는 우리가 약혼했을 때 그 노래를 부르곤 했어.... 그 시절이었어! 우리가 노래할 건 바로 그거야! 어때? 잊었어.

상기시켜줘! 어땠어?" 그녀는 격렬하게 흥분해서 일어나려고 애썼다. 마침내 그녀는 끔찍하게 쉰 목소리로 말을 시작했습니다. 모든 단어에 비명을 지르고 헐떡이며 점점 더 공포에 질린 표정을 지었습니다. "한낮의 더위 속에서!... 다게스탄의 계곡에서!... 가슴에 납이 묻은 채로!..." "각하!" 그녀는 갑자기 가슴이 찢어지는 비명과 눈물의 홍수로 통곡했습니다. "고아들을 보호하세요! 당신은 그들의 아버지의 손님이었습니다... 귀족적이라고 할 수도 있습니다..." 그녀는 의식을 되찾고 모든 사람을 일종의 공포로 바라보았지만 즉시 소니아를 알아봤습니다.

"소니아, 소니아!" 그녀는 마치 그녀가 거기에 있는 것을 보고 놀란 듯이 부드럽고 애무적으로 말했습니다. "소니아, 자기야, 너도 여기 있니?" 그들은 그녀를 다시 들어올렸습니다. "그만! 끝났어! 안녕, 불쌍한 것! 나는 끝났어! 나는 망가졌어!" 그녀는 복수심에 가득 찬 절망으로 외쳤고 그녀의 머리는 베개에 무겁게 떨어졌습니다. 그녀는 다시 의식을 잃었지만 이번에는 오래가지 않았다. 창백하고 노랗고 허약한 그녀의 얼굴이 뒤로 젖혀지고, 입이 벌어지고, 다리가 경련하듯 움직이며, 그녀는 깊고 깊은 한숨을 쉬고 죽었다.

소냐는 그녀에게 달려들어 팔을 휘둘렀고, 죽은 여자의 허약한 가슴에 머리를 얹은 채 움직이지 않았다. 폴렌카는 어머니의 발에 몸을 던지고, 발에 키스하고 격렬하게 울었다. 콜랴와 리다는 무슨 일이 일어났는지 이해하지 못했지만, 뭔가 끔찍한 일이라는 느낌이 들었다. 그들은 서로의 작은 어깨에 손을 얹고, 서로를 똑바로 응시하며, 둘 다 입을 벌리고 비명을 지르기 시작했다.

둘 다 여전히 화려한 옷을 입고 있었다. 한 명은 터번을 쓰고, 다른 한 명은 타조 깃털이 달린 모자를 쓰고 있었다. 그리고 "공로장"이 카테리나 이바노브나 옆 침대에 어떻게 놓였을까? 베개 옆에 놓여 있었다. 라스콜니코프가 그것을 보았다. 그는 창문으로 걸어갔다. 레베지아트니코프가 그에게 다가갔다.

"그녀는 죽었어요." 그가 말했다. "로디온 로마노비치, 두 마디 해야겠어요." 스비드리가일로프가 그들에게 다가가며 말했다. 레베지아트니코프는 즉시 그에게 자리를 내주고 조심스럽게 물러섰다. 스비드리가일로프는 라스콜니코프를 더 멀리 끌고 갔다. "제가 모든 준비를 할게요. 장례식도 그렇고요. 돈 문제라는 건 알잖아요. 그리고 말씀드렸듯이 저는 쓸 돈이 많아요. 그 두 어린아이와 폴렌카를 좋은 고아원에 보내고, 성인이 되면 각각 1,500루블을 지불하도록 정해 놓을게요. 그러면 소피아 세묘노브나가 걱정할 필요가 없을 거예요.

그리고 그녀를 진흙 속에서 끌어낼 거예요. 그녀는 착한 애잖아요. 그러니까 아브도티아 로마노브나에게 제가 그녀에게 1만 달러를 그렇게 쓴다고 전하세요." "그렇게 자선을 베푸는 동기가 뭐예요?" 라스콜니코프가 물었다. "아! 회의적인 사람이군요!" 스비드리가일로프가 웃었다. "돈이 필요 없다고 했잖아. 그냥 인간적으로 하는 거라고 인정하지 않겠어? 그녀는 '이가'가 아니었어, 알잖아" (그는 죽은 여자가 누워 있는 구석을 가리켰다), "그녀는 마치 늙은 전당포 여자 같았어?

자, 당신도 동의할 거야, 루진은 계속 살아가면서 사악한 짓을 저지를 거야? 아니면 죽을 거야? 내가 그들을 돕지 않으면 폴렌카도 같은 길을 갈 거야." 그는 일종의 쾌활한 눈짓과 교활함으로 이렇게 말했고, 라스콜니코프를 계속 바라보았는데, 라스콜니코프는 창백해지고 차가워졌고, 자신의 말을 듣고 소냐에게 말했다. 그는 재빨리 뒤로 물러나서 스비드리가일로프를 사납게 바라보았다. "어떻게 알아?" 그는 거의 숨을 쉴 수 없을 정도로 속삭였다. "그래, 나는 여기 벽 건너편에 있는 레슬리치 부인의 집에 묵고 있어. 여기 카페르나우모프가 있고, 거기에는 나의 오랜 친구이자 헌신적인 레슬리치 부인이 살고 있습니다.

나는 이웃입니다." "당신?" "그렇습니다." 스비드리가일로프가 웃음을 터뜨리며 말을 이었습니다. "친애하는 로디온 로마노비치, 당신이 나에게 엄청나게 흥미를 끌었다는 것을 내 명예를 걸고 보증합니다. 우리가 친구가 되어야 한다고 말했고, 예언했습니다. 글쎄요, 이제 우리는 그렇게 되었습니다. 그리고 당신은 내가 얼마나 친절한 사람인지 알게 될 것입니다. 당신은 나와 잘 지낼 수 있다는 것을 알게 될 것입니다!"

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“Bring them back, bring them back, Sonia! Oh stupid, ungrateful children!... Polenka! catch them.... It’s for your sakes I...” She stumbled as she ran and fell down. “She’s cut herself, she’s bleeding! Oh, dear!” cried Sonia, bending over her. All ran up and crowded around. Raskolnikov and Lebeziatnikov were the first at her side, the official too hastened up, and behind him the policeman who muttered, “Bother!” with a gesture of impatience,

feeling that the job was going to be a troublesome one.

“Pass on! Pass on!” he said to the crowd that pressed forward. “She’s dying,” someone shouted. “She’s gone out of her mind,” said another. “Lord have mercy upon us,” said a woman, crossing herself. “Have they caught the little girl and the boy? They’re being brought back, the elder one’s got them.... Ah, the naughty imps!” When they examined Katerina Ivanovna carefully, they saw that she had not cut herself against a stone, as Sonia thought, but that the blood that stained the pavement red was from her chest.

“I’ve seen that before,” muttered the official to Raskolnikov and Lebeziatnikov; “that’s consumption; the blood flows and chokes the patient. I saw the same thing with a relative of my own not long ago... nearly a pint of blood, all in a minute.... What’s to be done though? She is dying.” “This way, this way, to my room!” Sonia implored. “I live here!... See, that house, the second from here.... Come to me, make haste,” she turned from one to the other. “Send for the doctor! Oh, dear!”

Thanks to the official’s efforts, this plan was adopted, the policeman even helping to carry Katerina Ivanovna. She was carried to Sonia’s room, almost unconscious, and laid on the bed. The blood was still flowing, but she seemed to be coming to herself. Raskolnikov, Lebeziatnikov, and the official accompanied Sonia into the room and were followed by the policeman, who first drove back the crowd which followed to the very door.

Polenka came in holding Kolya and Lida, who were trembling and weeping.

Several persons came in too from the Kapernaumovs’ room; the landlord, a lame one-eyed man of strange appearance with whiskers and hair that stood up like a brush, his wife, a woman with an everlastingly scared expression‎, and several open-mouthed children with wonder-struck faces. Among these, Svidrigaïlov suddenly made his appearance. Raskolnikov looked at him with surprise, not understanding where he had come from and not having noticed him in the crowd.

A doctor and priest wore spoken of. The official whispered to Raskolnikov that he thought it was too late now for the doctor, but he ordered him to be sent for. Kapernaumov ran himself. Meanwhile Katerina Ivanovna had regained her breath. The bleeding ceased for a time. She looked with sick but intent and penetrating eyes at Sonia, who stood pale and trembling, wiping the sweat from her brow with a handkerchief. At last she asked to be raised. They sat her up on the bed, supporting her on both sides.

“Where are the children?” she said in a faint voice. “You’ve brought them, Polenka? Oh the sillies! Why did you run away.... Och!” Once more her parched lips were covered with blood. She moved her eyes, looking about her. “So that’s how you live, Sonia! Never once have I been in your room.” She looked at her with a face of suffering. “We have been your ruin, Sonia. Polenka, Lida, Kolya, come here! Well, here they are, Sonia, take them all! I hand them over to you, I’ve had enough! The ball is over.” (Cough!) “Lay me down, let me die in peace.”

They laid her back on the pillow. “What, the priest? I don’t want him. You haven’t got a rouble to spare. I have no sins. God must forgive me without that. He knows how I have suffered.... And if He won’t forgive me, I don’t care!” She sank more and more into uneasy delirium. At times she shuddered, turned her eyes from side to side, recognised everyone for a minute, but at once sank into delirium again. Her breathing was hoarse and difficult, there was a sort of rattle in her throat. “I said to him, your excellency,” she ejaculated, gasping after each word.

“That Amalia Ludwigovna, ah! Lida, Kolya, hands on your hips, make haste! Glissez, glissez! pas de basque! Tap with your heels, be a graceful child! “Du hast Diamanten und Perlen “What next? That’s the thing to sing. “Du hast die schonsten Augen Madchen, was willst du mehr? “What an idea! Was willst du mehr? What things the fool invents! Ah, yes! “In the heat of midday in the vale of Dagestan. “Ah, how I loved it! I loved that song to distraction, Polenka! Your father, you know, used to sing it when we were engaged.... Oh those days! Oh that’s the thing for us to sing! How does it go? I’ve forgotten.

Remind me! How was it?” She was violently excited and tried to sit up. At last, in a horribly hoarse, broken voice, she began, shrieking and gasping at every word, with a look of growing terror. “In the heat of midday!... in the vale!... of Dagestan!... With lead in my breast!...” “Your excellency!” she wailed suddenly with a heart-rending scream and a flood of tears, “protect the orphans! You have been their father’s guest... one may say aristocratic....” She started, regaining consciousness, and gazed at all with a sort of terror, but at once recognised Sonia.

“Sonia, Sonia!” she articulated softly and caressingly, as though surprised to find her there. “Sonia darling, are you here, too?” They lifted her up again. “Enough! It’s over! Farewell, poor thing! I am done for! I am broken!” she cried with vindictive despair, and her head fell heavily back on the pillow. She sank into unconsciousness again, but this time it did not last long. Her pale, yellow, wasted face dropped back, her mouth fell open, her leg moved convulsively, she gave a deep, deep sigh and died.

Sonia fell upon her, flung her arms about her, and remained motionless with her head pressed to the dead woman’s wasted bosom. Polenka threw herself at her mother’s feet, kissing them and weeping violently. Though Kolya and Lida did not understand what had happened, they had a feeling that it was something terrible; they put their hands on each other’s little shoulders, stared straight at one another and both at once opened their mouths and began screaming.

They were both still in their fancy dress; one in a turban, the other in the cap with the ostrich feather. And how did “the certificate of merit” come to be on the bed beside Katerina Ivanovna? It lay there by the pillow; Raskolnikov saw it. He walked away to the window. Lebeziatnikov skipped up to him.

“She is dead,” he said. “Rodion Romanovitch, I must have two words with you,” said Svidrigaïlov, coming up to them. Lebeziatnikov at once made room for him and delicately withdrew. Svidrigaïlov drew Raskolnikov further away. “I will undertake all the arrangements, the funeral and that. You know it’s a question of money and, as I told you, I have plenty to spare. I will put those two little ones and Polenka into some good orphan asylum, and I will settle fifteen hundred roubles to be paid to each on coming of age, so that Sofya Semyonovna need have no anxiety about them.

And I will pull her out of the mud too, for she is a good girl, isn’t she? So tell Avdotya Romanovna that that is how I am spending her ten thousand.” “What is your motive for such benevolence?” asked Raskolnikov. “Ah! you sceptical person!” laughed Svidrigaïlov. “I told you I had no need of that money. Won’t you admit that it’s simply done from humanity? She wasn’t ‘a louse,’ you know” (he pointed to the corner where the dead woman lay), “was she, like some old pawnbroker woman?

Come, you’ll agree, is Luzhin to go on living, and doing wicked things or is she to die? And if I didn’t help them, Polenka would go the same way.” He said this with an air of a sort of gay winking slyness, keeping his eyes fixed on Raskolnikov, who turned white and cold, hearing his own phrases, spoken to Sonia. He quickly stepped back and looked wildly at Svidrigaïlov. “How do you know?” he whispered, hardly able to breathe. “Why, I lodge here at Madame Resslich’s, the other side of the wall. Here is Kapernaumov, and there lives Madame Resslich, an old and devoted friend of mine.

I am a neighbour.” “You?” “Yes,” continued Svidrigaïlov, shaking with laughter. “I assure you on my honour, dear Rodion Romanovitch, that you have interested me enormously. I told you we should become friends, I foretold it. Well, here we have. And you will see what an accommodating person I am. You’ll see that you can get on with me!”

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