성화학생(2세)의 길 - 212 - 학생 때의 생활

[대태양/김현수]

성화학생의 길 - 212
제6장 선생님의 학창시절
제2절 선생님의 서울 학생시절 

5) 학생 때의 생활

학생시절에는 학교에서 돌아오면 교복을 벗어던지고 노동판에 가서 일했습니다. 내가 돈이 없어서 그런 것이 아닙니다. 안 해본 일이 없습니다. 석탄을 나르는 일도 해보았고, 배도 타 보았고, 머슴살이도 해봤습니다. 온갖 일을 다 해보았다는 것입니다.

인간의 고락이 어떤 것인가를 다 알아보았다는 것입니다. 그래서 내가 해야 할 일은 그 고락을 겪으며 살고 있는 인간들을 해방시키는 책임자가 되어 이들을 완전히 해방시켜 주는 것이라고 생각했다는 것입니다. (37- 36)

선생님은 학생시절에 영화를 보지 않았습니다. 여러분은 영화 구경도 잘 하러 갈 것입니다. 극장 앞에도 다니지 않았던 때가 있었습니다. 아무리 추악한 행동을 하더라도 그걸 보고 감염되지 않고 그들을 지도할 수 있는 주체성을 지니기 위해서는 그곳도 거쳐가야 됩니다.

그게 왜냐? 내가 그 환경을 넘어가서, 극장이라든가 이런 곳을 아무리 다니더라도 거기에 걸리지 않고 거기에서 범죄하지 않을 수 있는 선을 넘어서고 나서야 되기 때문입니다. (93-278, 184-247)

二世の道 - 212
第6章 先生の学生時代
第2節 先生のソウルでの学生時代

5) 学生のときの生活

「私が神様を気狂いのように愛することを見せてあげて、証すことのできる姿勢を備えよう。」これが先生の考えでした。それでは、愛することにおいて限界点はどこか？　それは皆さんが考えている取るに足りないところではありません。

ですから先生は、花のような青春時代が早く過ぎていくことを願いながら催促しました。先生が学生のときには頭を上げないで通いました。頭を下げて通ったのです。（三七・三五）

学生時代には、学校から帰れば制服を脱いで投げて、労働場に行って仕事をしました。私がお金が無くてそうなのではありません。してみなっかたことはありません。石炭を運ぶ仕事もしてみたし、作男暮らしもしてみました。あらゆることを皆してみたのです。

結局人間の苦楽がどのようなものかを皆知ってみたというのです。ですから私がしなければならないことは、その苦楽を経ながら生きている人間たちを解放する責任者になって、この人々を完全に解放してあげることだと考えたのです。（三七・三六）

先生が皆さんのような年齢のときに、うらやましいことがなかったでしょうか？　皆さんは映画を見に映画館にもよく行くでしょう？　先生は映画を見もせず、映画館の前に行かないときがあったということを知らなければなりません。

どんなに醜悪な行動をするのを見ても、そこで感染しないでそれらを指導することのできる主体性を身につけるためには、そんなところも経なければならないのです。それはなぜか？　

私がそれ以上に越えていって、全部過ぎていって、映画館だろうがこのようなところをどんなに通っても引っかからず、行って、寝て、暮らしても、そこで犯罪を犯さないでいられる線を越えて立たなければならないからです。（九三・二七八、一八四・二四七）

The Way For Students - 212
Chapter 6. Reverend Moon's Student Days
Section 2. Father's Student Days In Seoul

5) Student Love

In those days I thought like this, "I'll show God that I love him like a crazy man, and I will prepare myself to become a person who can testify to that." Then what is the limit of love? It's not the point you think. It's not as trifling a matter as you think.

Therefore I made haste wishing that my youth, like a flower, would pass away fast. When I was a student, I walked not with my face looking up but rather looking down.

In my student days whenever I came home from school I took off my student uniform, and I went to do physical labor, not because I had no money, but because I wanted to experience those jobs. I carried coal and I experienced the work of a construction laborer.

I experienced everything. In other words I wanted to know everything about human suffering and human joy. I thought that my responsibility was to liberate all those people completely by becoming the man responsible for liberating those people who are living in suffering and joy. (37-36)

Was there nothing that I was envious of when I was your age? You go to movies often, don't you? But in those days, you must know, I never went to see movies, I never went in front of movie theaters.

We must equip ourselves with such subjectivity that no matter how ugly the behavior we may see is, we are not infected by it. We have to be able to guide the people who act like that. In order to do that we have to go through those things.

Why? Because we have to stand in a position transcending the line of committing crimes and sins even if we have to go through circumstances that are like movies or ugly places without being accused. (93-278, 184-247)