When Mother’s Day is Tough
STEPHANIE RAQUEL
Listen to this devotion
“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15 (NLT)
Little did I know how hard my “first” Mother’s Day would be.
I’d dreamed of that first holiday, anticipating the joy and
celebration. When I learned I was pregnant, my husband and I were
ecstatic. We excitedly told a few close friends and all our extended
family we were expecting a new bundle of joy.
Several weeks later, I sadly discovered I was having a miscarriage.
That Mother’s Day was anything but joyful.
But my friend Deb? She knew. She understood I’d just want to
weep and had called me that morning. Deb left a heartfelt message,
sharing a short Scripture and a prayer reminding me of God’s goodness —
which was exactly what my soul craved that day.
Although Deb didn’t have children of her own, she knew firsthand the
pain of losing someone she desperately wanted to meet one day. In her
case, she’d lost a child through a decision to terminate a pregnancy
when she was in college. Yet she’d come to a place of healing in the
years that followed, and knew my “first” Mother’s Day would be an
emotional challenge.
Deb stepped into my heartache and lived out our key verse of Romans 12:15, which reminds us to “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”
Although that was my first challenging Mother’s Day, it wasn’t my
last. Nearly 10 years later, we lost my beloved mother-in-law suddenly
due to a massive stroke one fateful April day.
My grief after losing her so unexpectedly was palpable and raw. I’d
cry myself to sleep, begging God to tell her in heaven just how utterly
loved and special she was.
I vividly remember walking into a card store the week after her
funeral, where all things motherhood bombarded me. I couldn’t walk out
of that shop quickly enough, as it was too soon to pretend everything
was fine.
Thankfully again, dear friends brought wise words of comfort, and
gradually the acute pain of initial grief morphed into the dull ache of
loss.
Perhaps you, too, have known deep sorrow around a national day
devoted to celebrating mothers. Maybe you long to have children, but
that door hasn’t opened. Or you’ve lost a child or mother … or the
spouse you thought would always be there to help you parent well. I wish
we could connect face-to-face, and I could simply offer a hug to let
you know you’re not alone.
For many, Mother’s Day is a joyful celebration, with spectacular reasons to “rejoice with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15a,
ESV). Yet I know from experience how difficult that can be. Whatever
pain you’re enduring, here are a few things that help me cope when I
truly just want to weep:
This weekend, let’s strengthen one another and offer hope when hope feels far away.