Whoops.
Whoops.
Whoops.
This is gonna be the best birthday breakfast Mom ever had.
Hey, Lis.
You think that's enough for her? Maybe one more.
- I hope she likes the presents we got her.
- She'll like mine.
Who wouldn't like a bottle of real French perfume all the way from gay Paree? Four bucks, plus tax.
I think she's going to like my handmade birthday card better.
Oh, big deal.
Dry macaroni, spray paint and glue.
Whoopie.
Dibs.
First dibs.
I get to lick the beaters.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Litha, my "ongue" is "uck" in the "eaters.
" My "ongue"! Happy birthday! Huh? What? - Here's your birthday breakfast.
- Oh! Isn't this nice? - My birthday? It's my birthday? - No! What did I get? I love birthdays.
- No, Homer, it's mine.
- You don't even know your own wife's birthday? Well, of course I know.
Sure.
You really thought I forgot, didn't you? - Oh, right.
What did you get her, Dad? - What did you get? Uh, well, a vey thoughtful gift.
But it's a surprise.
You know, it's such a beautiful morning, I think I'll take a little stroll around the block.
- I think he forgot, Mom.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Come on.
Open up! Good morning, consumers.
The Springfield Mall is now open for your spending needs.
Hmm? Uh no.
Too salty.
Um nah.
Hmm? Nah, too corny.
Too exciting.
Patty, he's out buying me something right now.
Oh, Marge.
He never gets anything you want.
He always gets something for himself.
- The tackle box.
- Remember when he got you the tackle box? - And Connie Chung.
- And when he surprised you with the Connie Chung calendar? I'm sure he doesn't do it deliberately.
Hmm.
Hmm! Well, Homer and I had a lovely dining experience at Chez Pierre.
Or the Rusty Barnacle is nice.
No, no, no.
We wanna take you someplace fun-- The Singing Sirloin.
The place where the waiters sing.
- Homer? - Be right there.
Homer, we're having dinner tonight at The Singing Sirloin.
That sounds delightful.
Just you and me and the balladeers.
- And the kids.
- Fair enough.
- And my sisters.
- Doh! How we danced on the night we were wed Havin' my baby What a lovely way to say how much you love me Nearer my God to thee Nearer to thee Oh, perfume! Whoa! Hmm.
Thank you, Bart.
- You're welcome, Mom.
- 34 years old.
Time enough to start over with a new man.
- Someone who eats with his mouth shut.
- What's that, Patty? Nothing.
Finish your steak.
- Look at him wolfdown that gristle.
- Mm-hmm.
It's an accident waiting to happen.
Do you know the Heimlich Maneuver? - No.
- Good.
I think she likes my present better.
- Does not.
Does not.
Does not.
- Does too.
Does too.
Then how come she's not putting on any of your perfume? Yeah.
Hey, Mom.
How come you're not putting on any of my perfume? Mm.
Well, I'm saving it for a special occasion.
What the hell are you talking about? There's gallons of it! - Bart! - But this occasion is already so special.
If we made it any more special, we might end up making it less special.
- Gotcha.
Told ya she liked mine better.
- Oh, brother! Hold on.
Hold on now.
Your mother hasn't opened my present yet.
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy 34th birthday, Mrs.
Homer Simpson Happy birthday to you Oh.
Don't worry.
This frosting will come right off.
Beauty, isn't she? It's hard for me to judge since I've never bowled in my life! Well, if you don't want it, I know someone who does.
You always say we should talk.
I'm talking right now, as a matter of fact.
But I'm going to stop in a second, so please, say something back, Marge, please? I'm gonna stop talking now.
You bought that bowling ball for you, not for me.
- What? No.
- The holes were drilled for your fingers.
I wanted to surprise you.
I couldn't very well chop your hand off and bring it to the store.
You never intended for me to use that ball.
If that's how you feel, I'll take it back.
You can't take it back.
You had your name engraved on it! - So you'd know it was from me! - Homer, I'm keeping the ball for myself! What? But you don't know how to bowl.
Oops.
I'm keeping it, and I'm going to use it.
Thank you for the present, Homer.
Well you're welcome.
Excuse me.
Where do I throw this? - Over there.
- Thank you.
- You're gonna need a lane.
- No, thanks.