PART 6 // chapter 3-2

[모나리자]

"자, 그만해." 스비드리가일로프가 라스콜니코프의 입구에서 그녀를 막았다. 그 소녀는 즉시 말을 끊고 공손하게 기다렸다. 그녀도 심각하고 공손한 표정으로 후두음 운율을 불렀다. "야, 필립, 잔 한 잔!" 스비드리가일로프가 소리쳤다. "아무것도 마시지 않을게." 라스콜니코프가 말했다. "원하는 대로, 널 위해 한 게 아니야. 마셔, 카티아! 오늘은 더 마시고 싶지 않아, 가도 돼." 그는 그녀에게 잔을 가득 따르고 노란색 지폐를 놓았다. 카티아는 여자들이 하듯이 와인잔을 내려놓지 않고 20번에 걸쳐 마셨고, 지폐를 받아 들고 스비드리가일로프의 손에 키스했고, 그는 매우 진지하게 허락했다. 그녀는 방에서 나갔고 소년은 오르간을 들고 그녀를 따라왔다.

둘 다 거리에서 데려왔다. 스비드리가일로프는 피터스버그에 온 지 일주일도 되지 않았지만, 그에 대한 모든 것이 말하자면 이미 가부장적 입장에 있었습니다. 웨이터인 필립은 이제 오랜 친구였고 매우 아첨했습니다. 술집으로 통하는 문에는 자물쇠가 걸려 있었습니다. 스비드리가일로프는 이 방에서 집에 있었고 아마도 하루 종일 그곳에서 지냈을 것입니다. 선술집은 더럽고 초라했고 2류도 아니었습니다. "당신을 만나러 가고 당신을 찾고 있었어요." 라스콜니코프가 말을 시작했습니다. "하지만 왜 제가 헤이 마켓에서 방금 X. 전망으로 방향을 틀었는지 모르겠어요.

저는 이런 방향으로 절대 가지 않습니다. 헤이 마켓에서 오른쪽으로 방향을 틀어요. 그리고 여기가 당신에게 가는 길이 아니에요. 그냥 방향을 틀었는데 당신이 여기 있어요. 이상해요!" "왜 바로 '기적이에요'라고 말하지 않으세요?" "그냥 우연일 수도 있거든요." "아, 여러분 모두 다 그렇죠." 스비드리가일로프가 웃으며 말했습니다. "당신은 그것이 기적이라고 마음속으로 믿더라도 인정하지 않을 거야! 여기서 당신은 그것이 우연일 수도 있다고 말했지.

그리고 그들이 얼마나 비겁한지, 자신의 의견을 갖는 것에 대해 상상할 수 없을 거야, 로디온 로마노비치. 나는 당신을 말하는 것이 아니야, 당신은 자신의 의견이 있고 그것을 갖는 것을 두려워하지 않아. 그것이 당신이 내 호기심을 끌었던 방식이야." "다른 건 없어?" "음, 그것으로 충분해, 알다시피." 스비드리가일로프는 분명히 들떠 있었지만, 그다지 약간만 그랬을 뿐이었다. 그는 와인을 반 잔도 마시지 않았다.

"당신이 내가 당신들이 말하는 의견을 가질 수 있다는 것을 알기 전에 나를 만나러 온 것 같아." 라스콜니코프가 말했다. "아, 글쎄, 그것은 다른 문제야. 모든 사람은 자신의 계획이 있어. 그리고 기적에 관해서 말하자면, 당신은 지난 이틀이나 사흘 동안 잠들어 있었던 것 같아. 내가 이 선술집에 대해 직접 말했는데, 당신이 여기로 바로 오는 데는 기적이 없어. 내가 직접 길을 설명했고, 어디인지, 그리고 여기서 나를 찾을 수 있는 시간을 말해줬어. 기억나?"

"기억이 안 나요." 라스콜니코프가 놀라서 대답했다. "당신을 믿습니다. 두 번이나 말했잖아요. 주소는 당신의 기억에 기계적으로 찍혀 있습니다. 당신은 기계적으로 이쪽으로 돌았지만, 정확히 그 방향에 따라 돌았지만, 당신은 그것을 알지 못합니다. 그때 내가 말했을 때, 당신이 내 말을 알아들을 거라고는 거의 기대하지 않았습니다. 당신은 너무 많은 것을 드러냅니다, 로디온 로마노비치. 그리고 또 한 가지, 나는 페테르부르크에 걸으면서 스스로에게 말하는 사람들이 많다고 확신합니다. 이곳은 미친 사람들의 도시입니다. 과학자, 의사, 변호사, 철학자가 있었다면 페테르부르크에서 각자의 분야에서 가장 가치 있는 조사를 했을 것입니다.

페테르부르크만큼 인간의 영혼에 우울하고 강하고 이상한 영향을 미치는 곳은 거의 없습니다. 기후의 영향만으로도 많은 의미가 있습니다. 그리고 그곳은 러시아 전체의 행정 중심지이며, 그 성격은 전국에 반영되어야 합니다. 하지만 지금은 여기 저기가 아닙니다. 요점은 당신을 여러 번 지켜보았다는 것입니다. 당신은 머리를 높이 들고 집에서 나와서 집에서 20걸음 떨어진 곳에서 머리를 숙이고 손을 등 뒤로 모았습니다.

당신은 바라보았지만 분명히 당신 앞이나 옆에 아무것도 보이지 않았습니다. 마침내 당신은 입술을 움직이고 스스로에게 말을 걸기 시작했고, 때때로 한 손을 흔들고 선언하고 마침내 길 한가운데에 멈췄습니다. 그게 전혀 문제가 아니었습니다. 나 외에 누군가가 당신을 지켜보고 있을 수도 있고, 그게 당신에게 도움이 되지 않을 것입니다. 그것은 나와는 전혀 관련이 없고 당신을 고칠 수는 없지만, 물론 당신은 나를 이해합니다." "내가 뒤따라오고 있다는 걸 알고 있나요?" 라스콜니코프가 그를 호기심 어린 눈으로 바라보며 물었습니다. "아니요, 저는 그것에 대해 아무것도 모릅니다." 스비드리가일로프가 놀란 듯 말했습니다.

"그럼, 나를 내버려 두죠." 라스콜니코프가 중얼거리며 눈살을 찌푸렸습니다. "아주 좋습니다. 당신을 내버려 두죠." "술을 마시러 여기 와서 두 번이나 당신에게 오라고 ​​했다면, 왜 숨었고, 내가 거리에서 창문을 보았을 때 도망치려고 했어? 내가 봤어." "허허! 그리고 왜 눈을 감고 소파에 누워서 잠든 척했어? 내가 문간에 서 있을 때는 깨어 있었는데 말이야? 내가 봤어." "내가... 이유가 있었을 수도 있어.

너도 알잖아." "그리고 내가 이유가 있었을 수도 있어. 넌 모르겠지만." 라스콜니코프는 오른쪽 팔꿈치를 테이블에 내리고, 오른손 손가락으로 턱을 받치고, 스비드리가일로프를 뚫어지게 쳐다보았다. 그는 1분 동안 그의 얼굴을 면밀히 살폈다. 그는 전에 그에게 인상을 주었던 얼굴을. 가면처럼 이상한 얼굴이었다. 하얗고 붉었고, 밝은 붉은 입술에 아마색 수염과 여전히 굵은 아마색 머리카락이 있었다.

그의 눈은 어딘가 너무 파랗고, 표정은 어딘가 너무 무겁고 고정되어 있었다. 그 잘생긴 얼굴에는 끔찍하게 불쾌한 것이 있었다. 나이에 비해 너무나 멋지게 젊어 보였다. 스비드리가일로프는 가벼운 여름 옷을 깔끔하게 차려입었고 특히 린넨은 예뻤다. 그는 보석이 박힌 거대한 반지를 끼고 있었다.

"이제 당신 때문에 내가 신경 써야 하나요?" 라스콜니코프가 갑자기 말하며 긴장과 참을성 없이 바로 요점을 짚었다. "당신이 나를 다치게 하고 싶어한다면 아마 가장 위험한 사람일지 몰라도, 나는 더 이상 내 자신을 내세우고 싶지 않아. 내가 당신 생각처럼 나 자신을 소중히 여기지 않는다는 걸 당장 보여드리겠어요.

지금 당장 당신에게 말씀드리려고 온 건, 만약 당신이 내 여동생에 대한 예전 의도를 고수하고 최근에 발견된 것에서 그 방향으로 어떤 이익을 얻으려고 생각한다면, 나를 감옥에 가두기 전에 당신을 죽일 거라는 거예요. 내 말을 믿을 수 있어요. 내가 지킬 수 있다는 걸 알잖아요. 그리고 두 번째로, 만약 당신이 나에게 무언가 말하고 싶다면—나는 당신이 항상 나에게 말할 것이 있다고 생각했습니다—서둘러 말하십시오. 시간은 소중하고 곧 너무 늦을 가능성이 큽니다."

----------------------------------------------------

“Come, that’s enough,” Svidrigaïlov stopped her at Raskolnikov’s entrance. The girl at once broke off and stood waiting respectfully. She had sung her guttural rhymes, too, with a serious and respectful expression‎ in her face. “Hey, Philip, a glass!” shouted Svidrigaïlov. “I won’t drink anything,” said Raskolnikov. “As you like, I didn’t mean it for you. Drink, Katia! I don’t want anything more to-day, you can go.” He poured her out a full glass, and laid down a yellow note. Katia drank off her glass of wine, as women do, without putting it down, in twenty gulps, took the note and kissed Svidrigaïlov’s hand, which he allowed quite seriously. She went out of the room and the boy trailed after her with the organ.

Both had been brought in from the street. Svidrigaïlov had not been a week in Petersburg, but everything about him was already, so to speak, on a patriarchal footing; the waiter, Philip, was by now an old friend and very obsequious. The door leading to the saloon had a lock on it. Svidrigaïlov was at home in this room and perhaps spent whole days in it. The tavern was dirty and wretched, not even second-rate. “I was going to see you and looking for you,” Raskolnikov began, “but I don’t know what made me turn from the Hay Market into the X. Prospect just now.

I never take this turning. I turn to the right from the Hay Market. And this isn’t the way to you. I simply turned and here you are. It is strange!” “Why don’t you say at once ‘it’s a miracle’?” “Because it may be only chance.” “Oh, that’s the way with all you folk,” laughed Svidrigaïlov. “You won’t admit it, even if you do inwardly believe it a miracle! Here you say that it may be only chance.

And what cowards they all are here, about having an opinion of their own, you can’t fancy, Rodion Romanovitch. I don’t mean you, you have an opinion of your own and are not afraid to have it. That’s how it was you attracted my curiosity.” “Nothing else?” “Well, that’s enough, you know,” Svidrigaïlov was obviously exhilarated, but only slightly so, he had not had more than half a glass of wine.

“I fancy you came to see me before you knew that I was capable of having what you call an opinion of my own,” observed Raskolnikov. “Oh, well, it was a different matter. Everyone has his own plans. And apropos of the miracle let me tell you that I think you have been asleep for the last two or three days. I told you of this tavern myself, there is no miracle in your coming straight here. I explained the way myself, told you where it was, and the hours you could find me here. Do you remember?”

“I don’t remember,” answered Raskolnikov with surprise. “I believe you. I told you twice. The address has been stamped mechanically on your memory. You turned this way mechanically and yet precisely according to the direction, though you are not aware of it. When I told you then, I hardly hoped you understood me. You give yourself away too much, Rodion Romanovitch. And another thing, I’m convinced there are lots of people in Petersburg who talk to themselves as they walk. This is a town of crazy people. If only we had scientific men, doctors, lawyers and philosophers might make most valuable investigations in Petersburg each in his own line.

There are few places where there are so many gloomy, strong and queer influences on the soul of man as in Petersburg. The mere influences of climate mean so much. And it’s the administrative centre of all Russia and its character must be reflected on the whole country. But that is neither here nor there now. The point is that I have several times watched you. You walk out of your house—holding your head high—twenty paces from home you let it sink, and fold your hands behind your back.

You look and evidently see nothing before nor beside you. At last you begin moving your lips and talking to yourself, and sometimes you wave one hand and declaim, and at last stand still in the middle of the road. That’s not at all the thing. Someone may be watching you besides me, and it won’t do you any good. It’s nothing really to do with me and I can’t cure you, but, of course, you understand me.” “Do you know that I am being followed?” asked Raskolnikov, looking inquisitively at him. “No, I know nothing about it,” said Svidrigaïlov, seeming surprised.

“Well, then, let us leave me alone,” Raskolnikov muttered, frowning. “Very good, let us leave you alone.” “You had better tell me, if you come here to drink, and directed me twice to come here to you, why did you hide, and try to get away just now when I looked at the window from the street? I saw it.” “He-he! And why was it you lay on your sofa with closed eyes and pretended to be asleep, though you were wide awake while I stood in your doorway? I saw it.” “I may have had... reasons.

You know that yourself.” “And I may have had my reasons, though you don’t know them.” Raskolnikov dropped his right elbow on the table, leaned his chin in the fingers of his right hand, and stared intently at Svidrigaïlov. For a full minute he scrutinised his face, which had impressed him before. It was a strange face, like a mask; white and red, with bright red lips, with a flaxen beard, and still thick flaxen hair.

His eyes were somehow too blue and their expression‎ somehow too heavy and fixed. There was something awfully unpleasant in that handsome face, which looked so wonderfully young for his age. Svidrigaïlov was smartly dressed in light summer clothes and was particularly dainty in his linen. He wore a huge ring with a precious stone in it.

“Have I got to bother myself about you, too, now?” said Raskolnikov suddenly, coming with nervous impatience straight to the point. “Even though perhaps you are the most dangerous man if you care to injure me, I don’t want to put myself out any more. I will show you at once that I don’t prize myself as you probably think I do.

I’ve come to tell you at once that if you keep to your former intentions with regard to my sister and if you think to derive any benefit in that direction from what has been discovered of late, I will kill you before you get me locked up. You can reckon on my word. You know that I can keep it. And in the second place if you want to tell me anything—for I keep fancying all this time that you have something to tell me—make haste and tell it, for time is precious and very likely it will soon be too late.”

8529