PART 6 // chapter 5-1

[모나리자]

라스콜니코프가 그를 따라 걸었다. "이게 뭐야?" 스비드리가일로프가 돌아서며 소리쳤다. "내가 말했던 것 같은데..." "지금도 널 놓치지 않겠다는 뜻이야." "뭐?" 둘은 가만히 서서 마치 서로의 힘을 재듯 서로를 응시했다. "너희가 반쯤 취한 이야기를 다 들어보니," 라스콜니코프가 거칠게 말했다. "너희가 내 여동생에 대한 계획을 포기하지 않고, 그 어느 때보다 더 적극적으로 추진하고 있다는 걸 확신해. 오늘 아침에 여동생이 편지를 받았다는 걸 알게 됐어. 이제까지 가만히 앉아 있을 수가 없었어.... 네가 오는 길에 아내를 발견했을지도 모르지만, 그건 아무 의미가 없어.

나는 내 자신을 확실히 하고 싶어." 라스콜니코프는 자신이 원하는 것과 확실히 하고 싶은 것을 스스로 말할 수 없었을 것이다. "내 말을 들어! 경찰에 신고할게!" "전화해!" 그들은 다시 한 번 서로를 마주보며 1분간 서 있었다. 마침내 스비드리가일로프의 얼굴이 바뀌었다. 라스콜니코프가 자신의 위협에 두려워하지 않는다는 것을 확인하고, 그는 쾌활하고 친절한 태도를 취했습니다. "이런 녀석! 나는 호기심에 사로잡혀 있지만, 의도적으로 당신의 일에 대해 언급하지 않았습니다.

환상적인 일이에요. 다음 시간으로 미루었지만, 당신은 죽은 사람을 깨우기에 충분합니다... 글쎄요, 가자, 다만 미리 경고하건데, 나는 잠깐 집에 가서 돈을 좀 벌려고 할 뿐이야. 그러고 나서 아파트를 잠그고 택시를 타고 섬에서 저녁을 보내러 갈게. 이제, 이제 나를 따라올 거야?" "나는 당신을 만나러 가는 게 아니라 소피아 세묘노브나를 만나러 가는 거야. 장례식에 참석하지 못해서 미안하다고 전하려고." "그게 당신의 뜻대로지만, 소피아 세묘노브나는 집에 없어.

그녀는 세 아이를 어떤 고아원의 후원자이자 지위가 높은 노부인에게 데려갔어. 몇 년 전에 내가 알았던 사람이야. 나는 카테리나 이바노브나의 세 자녀를 부양하기 위해 그녀에게 돈을 예치하고 기관에 가입함으로써 그 노부인을 매료시켰습니다. 나는 그녀에게 소피아 세묘노브나의 이야기를 자세히 들려주었고, 아무것도 숨기지 않았습니다. 그것은 그녀에게 형언할 수 없는 영향을 미쳤습니다.

그래서 소피아 세묘노브나는 오늘 그 여인이 지금 머물고 있는 X호텔에 방문하도록 초대되었습니다." "상관없어요, 저는 그래도 갈게요." "당신이 원하든, 그것은 저에게는 아무것도 아니지만, 당신과 함께 가지 않을 겁니다. 우리는 여기 집에 있습니다. 그런데, 저는 제가 그렇게 섬세하게 행동하고 지금까지 당신에게 질문하지 않았다는 이유만으로 당신이 저를 의심하는 것으로 확신합니다... 이해하시죠? 당신은 그것이 특별하다고 생각했어요. 저는 그것이 그렇다고 확신합니다. 글쎄요, 그것은 사람에게 섬세함을 보여주는 법을 가르쳐줍니다!"

"그리고 문에서 경청하는 것!" "아, 그게 다예요, 그렇죠?" 스비드리가일로프가 웃으며 말했습니다. "그래, 네가 그 모든 일이 일어난 뒤에 그걸 그냥 넘겼다면 나는 놀랐을 거야. 하하! 하지만

나는 네가 장난치고 소피아 세묘노브나에게 말했던 장난의 의미를 조금은 이해했어. 그게 무슨 뜻이었지? 아마 나는 시대에 뒤떨어져 있어서 이해할 수 없을 거야. 제발, 설명해 봐, 내 사랑하는 꼬마야.

최신 이론을 설명해 봐!" "아무것도 들을 수 없었을 거야. 넌 다 지어내고 있어!" "하지만 내가 말하는 건 그게 아니야(뭔가를 들었지만). 아니, 지금 네가 계속 한숨 쉬고 신음하는 방식에 대해 말하는 거야. 네 안의 쉴러는 매 순간 반항하고 있고, 지금은 문 앞에서 듣지 말라고 해. 네가 그렇게 느낀다면, 가서 경찰에 네가 이런 불운을 겪었다고 말해. 네 이론에서 약간의 실수를 했어. 하지만 문 앞에서는 듣지 말아야 하지만, 마음대로 늙은 여자를 죽일 수 있다고 확신한다면, 서둘러 미국으로 가는 게 낫겠어.

달려라, 젊은이! 아직 시간이 있을지도 몰라. 진심으로 말하고 있어. 돈 없어? 요금을 줄게." "전혀 생각 안 하고 있어." 라스콜니코프가 혐오감을 느끼며 말을 가로채며 말했다. "알겠어(하지만 너무 나서지 마, 하고 싶지 않다면 이야기하지 마). 네가 걱정하는 문제들을 이해해. 도덕적인 문제지? 시민과 인간의 의무? 다 접어둬. 지금은 너한테 아무것도 아니야, 하하! 너는 여전히 인간이고 시민이라고 말할 거야. 그렇다면 이 꼬임에 끼어들지 말았어야지.

너한테 맞지 않는 일을 하는 건 소용없어. 글쎄, 자살하는 게 낫겠어, 아니면 하고 싶지 않아?" "나를 화나게 하려고 하는 것 같아. 내가 널 떠나게 하려고." "이 얼마나 이상한 녀석인가! 하지만 여기 있잖아. 계단으로 와. 저기가 소피아 세묘노브나로 가는 길이야. 봐, 집에 아무도 없어. 믿지 못하시나요? 카페르나우모프에게 물어보세요.

그녀는 그에게 열쇠를 맡깁니다.

여기 마담 드 카페르나우모프가 있습니다. 야, 뭐라고? 그녀는 귀가 안 들립니다. 그녀는 나갔나요? 어디로? 들었어요? 그녀는 집에 없고 아마 저녁 늦게까지 없을 겁니다. 글쎄요, 제 방으로 오세요. 저를 만나러 오셨죠? 여기 있습니다. 레슬리치 마담은 집에 없습니다. 그녀는 항상 바쁜 여성이고, 훌륭한 여성이라고 확신합니다... 당신이 조금 더 현명했다면 그녀는 당신에게 도움이 되었을지도 모릅니다.

이제 보세요! 저는 이 5% 채권을 서랍에서 꺼냅니다. 아직도 얼마나 많은지 보세요. 이것은 오늘 현금으로 바뀔 것입니다. 더 이상 시간을 낭비해서는 안 됩니다. 서랍은 잠겨 있고, 아파트도 잠겨 있고, 우리는 다시 계단에 있습니다. 택시를 탈까요? 저는 섬으로 갈 겁니다. 태워드릴까요? 이 마차를 탈게요. 아, 거절하시네요? 지치셨군요! 운전하러 오세요! 비가 올 것 같아요.

괜찮아요, 후드를 내리죠..." 스비드리가일로프는 이미 마차에 타고 있었습니다. 라스콜니코프는 적어도 그 순간은 자신의 의심이 부당하다고 판단했습니다. 그는 아무 말도 하지 않고 돌아서서 헤이 마켓으로 걸어갔습니다. 그가 길을 가다가 돌아섰다면 스비드리가일로프가 백 걸음도 떨어지지 않은 곳에서 내려서 마차를 내리고 보도를 따라 걸어가는 것을 보았을지도 모릅니다.

하지만 그는 모퉁이를 돌아서서 아무것도 보이지 않았습니다. 강렬한 혐오감이 그를 스비드리가일로프에게서 멀어지게 했습니다. "그 거친 짐승, 타락한 관능주의자, 악당에게 도움을 구할 수 있었다는 걸 생각하니!" 그는 소리쳤습니다. 라스콜니코프의 판단은 너무 가볍고 성급했습니다. 스비드리가일로프에게는 그에게 어떤 독창적이고 신비로운 성격을 부여하는 무언가가 있었습니다. 그의 자매에 대해 걱정한 라스콜니코프는 확신했습니다.

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CHAPTER V

Raskolnikov walked after him. “What’s this?” cried Svidrigaïlov turning round, “I thought I said...” “It means that I am not going to lose sight of you now.” “What?” Both stood still and gazed at one another, as though measuring their strength. “From all your half tipsy stories,” Raskolnikov observed harshly, “I am positive that you have not given up your designs on my sister, but are pursuing them more actively than ever. I have learnt that my sister received a letter this morning. You have hardly been able to sit still all this time.... You may have unearthed a wife on the way, but that means nothing.

I should like to make certain myself.” Raskolnikov could hardly have said himself what he wanted and of what he wished to make certain. “Upon my word! I’ll call the police!” “Call away!” Again they stood for a minute facing each other. At last Svidrigaïlov’s face changed. Having satisfied himself that Raskolnikov was not frightened at his threat, he assumed a mirthful and friendly air. “What a fellow! I purposely refrained from referring to your affair, though I am devoured by curiosity.

It’s a fantastic affair. I’ve put it off till another time, but you’re enough to rouse the dead.... Well, let us go, only I warn you beforehand I am only going home for a moment, to get some money; then I shall lock up the flat, take a cab and go to spend the evening at the Islands. Now, now are you going to follow me?” “I’m coming to your lodgings, not to see you but Sofya Semyonovna, to say I’m sorry not to have been at the funeral.” “That’s as you like, but Sofya Semyonovna is not at home.

She has taken the three children to an old lady of high rank, the patroness of some orphan asylums, whom I used to know years ago. I charmed the old lady by depositing a sum of money with her to provide for the three children of Katerina Ivanovna and subscribing to the institution as well. I told her too the story of Sofya Semyonovna in full detail, suppressing nothing. It produced an indescribable effect on her.

That’s why Sofya Semyonovna has been invited to call to-day at the X. Hotel where the lady is staying for the time.” “No matter, I’ll come all the same.” “As you like, it’s nothing to me, but I won’t come with you; here we are at home. By the way, I am convinced that you regard me with suspicion just because I have shown such delicacy and have not so far troubled you with questions... you understand? It struck you as extraordinary; I don’t mind betting it’s that. Well, it teaches one to show delicacy!”

“And to listen at doors!” “Ah, that’s it, is it?” laughed Svidrigaïlov. “Yes, I should have been surprised if you had let that pass after all that has happened. Ha-ha! Though

I did understand something of the pranks you had been up to and were telling Sofya Semyonovna about, what was the meaning of it? Perhaps I am quite behind the times and can’t understand. For goodness’ sake, explain it, my dear boy.

Expound the latest theories!” “You couldn’t have heard anything. You’re making it all up!” “But I’m not talking about that (though I did hear something). No, I’m talking of the way you keep sighing and groaning now. The Schiller in you is in revolt every moment, and now you tell me not to listen at doors. If that’s how you feel, go and inform the police that you had this mischance: you made a little mistake in your theory. But if you are convinced that one mustn’t listen at doors, but one may murder old women at one’s pleasure, you’d better be off to America and make haste.

Run, young man! There may still be time. I’m speaking sincerely. Haven’t you the money? I’ll give you the fare.” “I’m not thinking of that at all,” Raskolnikov interrupted with disgust. “I understand (but don’t put yourself out, don’t discuss it if you don’t want to). I understand the questions you are worrying over—moral ones, aren’t they? Duties of citizen and man? Lay them all aside. They are nothing to you now, ha-ha! You’ll say you are still a man and a citizen. If so you ought not to have got into this coil.

It’s no use taking up a job you are not fit for. Well, you’d better shoot yourself, or don’t you want to?” “You seem trying to enrage me, to make me leave you.” “What a queer fellow! But here we are. Welcome to the staircase. You see, that’s the way to Sofya Semyonovna. Look, there is no one at home. Don’t you believe me? Ask Kapernaumov.

She leaves the key with him.

Here is Madame de Kapernaumov herself. Hey, what? She is rather deaf. Has she gone out? Where? Did you hear? She is not in and won’t be till late in the evening probably. Well, come to my room; you wanted to come and see me, didn’t you? Here we are. Madame Resslich’s not at home. She is a woman who is always busy, an excellent woman I assure you.... She might have been of use to you if you had been a little more sensible.

Now, see! I take this five-per-cent bond out of the bureau—see what a lot I’ve got of them still—this one will be turned into cash to-day. I mustn’t waste any more time. The bureau is locked, the flat is locked, and here we are again on the stairs. Shall we take a cab? I’m going to the Islands. Would you like a lift? I’ll take this carriage. Ah, you refuse? You are tired of it! Come for a drive! I believe it will come on to rain.

Never mind, we’ll put down the hood....” Svidrigaïlov was already in the carriage. Raskolnikov decided that his suspicions were at least for that moment unjust. Without answering a word he turned and walked back towards the Hay Market. If he had only turned round on his way he might have seen Svidrigaïlov get out not a hundred paces off, dismiss the cab and walk along the pavement.

But he had turned the corner and could see nothing. Intense disgust drew him away from Svidrigaïlov. “To think that I could for one instant have looked for help from that coarse brute, that depraved sensualist and blackguard!” he cried. Raskolnikov’s judgment was uttered too lightly and hastily: there was something about Svidrigaïlov which gave him a certain original, even a mysterious character. As concerned his sister, Raskolnikov was convinced

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