Unwanted visit

[꼬깔마녀]

Dear Annie: Many years ago, I moved from the small town where I grew up. I married and raised a family, and recently, my husband retired, and we returned to my hometown. Our grown children live a plane trip away, and we see them often.

Last Saturday, we returned from one of those visits. In the middle of the night, my husband became ill. We were exhausted from the trip, and being up half the night didn't help. At 9:30 a.m., I was trying to rest when the doorbell rang. It was the pastor of our local church, accompanied by a neighbor. Our luggage was still in the foyer, I was in my nightgown, and my husband was throwing up in the bathroom. I opened the door and said, "I'm sorry, this is not a good time. Will you come again, and please call before you come?"

Now the neighbor doesn't speak to me, and has told several people that I turned her and the pastor away. Should I apologize? -- D. in Louisiana

Dear D.: You owe no one an apology. It is rude to drop in on folks without calling first, and anyone with half a brain should have noticed you were not prepared for company. You might, however, talk to the pastor and explain what happened. He will take care of the gossipy neighbor.

Dear Annie: You recently printed a letter from a reader who looked after her elderly, depressed mother. The reader said Mom's short-term memory is gone, but her face lit up when she heard her favorite music from the past and watched old TV shows and movies from the '30s and '40s.

My girlfriend and I created a video photo album for her grandmother with photos from Gram's childhood, teen years and married years with her now-deceased husband. We added music, title pages, and so on, and gave her the video for Christmas. She watched it with her family, and they laughed and cried. It was a huge hit. Please suggest it to your readers. -- Frank in Colorado

Dear Frank: Thank you for the lovely suggestion. Those who know how to transfer photographs to the computer can create a video album, along with period music, which would thrill anyone. If you don't know how to make such an album, there are professionals who can put it together for you.

Dear Annie: While dining out at a restaurant recently, my friend and I were seated next to a table where there were two mothers and four children. It was the only available table. The children were not rude, but they did play on the floor, bump my chair, squeal, and they managed to knock my purse over more than once.

After a few minutes of this, I glared at the mothers to indicate my disapproval. They told the children to settle down, but of course, nothing changed. After the second glare, one of the mothers reprimanded me and said I would understand once I had children. I told her she could be right, but at the moment I expected to enjoy my dinner. One of the mothers then sent her son over to apologize, although he appeared to be around 5 years old, and I doubt he knew what he was doing.

Was I wrong to expect mothers to control their children in an adult setting? -- Still Glaring

Dear Glaring: Parents who allow their kids to run around, knock things over and annoy other diners would be wise to feed them at home or take them to a family restaurant where the clientele is more tolerant of such behavior. That said, most parents try their best under such circumstances. And having the boy apologize was appropriate. It teaches a 5-year-old that he is responsible for his actions. If the boy was a serious nuisance, it might have helped to notify the manager.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@attbi.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.


2003.05.17

[별이..]

글 잘 읽구 있어요.. ^---^ 글구 보니 참 올만이네요 . 상훈