PART 6 // chapter 5-3

[모나리자]

"당신이 용감한 소녀라는 건 부인할 수 없어. 내 말에 따르면, 라주미힌 씨에게 당신을 이곳으로 안내해 달라고 부탁했을 거라고 생각했어. 하지만 그는 당신과 함께 있지 않았고, 근처에도 없었어. 내가 조심했어. 당신은 기품이 넘치고, 로디온 로마노비치를 살려주고 싶어 했다는 증거야. 하지만 당신은 모든 게 신성해... 당신의 형에 대해, 내가 당신에게 무슨 말을 해야 할까? 당신은 방금 그를 직접 봤잖아. 당신은 그에 대해 어떻게 생각했어?" "확실히 그게 당신이 쌓아올리는 유일한 건 아니겠지?" "아니, 그게 아니라, 그의 말에 대해서 말이야.

그는 소피아 세묘노브나를 만나러 이틀 연속으로 여기 왔어. 그들이 앉았던 곳을 보여드렸어. 그는 그녀에게 완전히 자백했어. 그는 살인자야. 그는 전당포 주인인 늙은 여자를 죽였고, 그는 그 여자와 함께 물건을 전당했어. 그는 그녀의 자매, 리자베타라는 행상인도 죽였어. 그녀는 그가 그녀의 자매를 죽이는 동안 우연히 들어왔어. 그는 가지고 온 도끼로 그들을 죽였습니다.

그는 그들을 강탈하기 위해 살해했고, 그는 그들을 강탈했습니다. 그는 돈과 여러 가지 물건을 훔쳤습니다.... 그는 이 모든 것을 소피아 세묘노브나에게, 그의 비밀을 아는 유일한 사람에게 그대로 말했습니다. 하지만 그녀는 살인에 말이나 행동으로 관여하지 않았습니다. 그녀는 지금 당신처럼 그것에 공포를 느꼈습니다. 걱정하지 마세요, 그녀는 그를 배신하지 않을 겁니다." "그럴 리가 없어요." 두니아가 하얀 입술로 중얼거렸습니다. 그녀는 숨을 헐떡였습니다. "그럴 리가 없어요.

아무런 이유도, 근거도 없었어요... 거짓말이에요, 거짓말이에요!" "그는 그녀를 강탈했고, 그게 원인이었습니다. 그는 돈과 물건을 훔쳤습니다. 사실 그는 자신의 인정에 따르면 돈이나 물건을 사용하지 않고 돌 아래에 숨겼습니다. 지금 있는 곳에요. 하지만 그것은 그가 감히 사용하지 않았기 때문입니다." "하지만 어떻게 훔칠 수 있었을까요? 어떻게 꿈꿀 수 있었을까요?" 두니아가 소리치며 의자에서 벌떡 일어났다. "그럼, 당신은 그를 알고 있고, 그를 본 적이 있는데, 그가 도둑일 수 있나요?" 그녀는 스비드리가일로프에게 간청하는 듯했다. 그녀는 자신의 두려움을 완전히 잊고 있었다. "수천, 수백만 가지의 조합과 가능성이 있습니다, 아브도티아 로마노브나.

도둑은 도둑질을 하고 자신이 악당이라는 것을 알지만, 우편물을 뜯어낸 신사에 대한 이야기를 들었습니다. 누가 알겠습니까? 그는 자신이 신사적인 일을 한다고 생각했을 가능성이 매우 큽니다! 물론 당신처럼 들었다면 저는 스스로 믿지 않았을 것입니다. 하지만 저는 제 귀를 믿습니다. 그는 소피아 세묘노브나에게도 모든 원인을 설명했지만, 그녀는 처음에는 자신의 귀를 믿지 않았지만, 마침내 자신의 눈을 믿었습니다." "무엇이... 원인이었나요?"

"긴 이야기입니다, 아브도티아 로마노브나. 여기... 어떻게 말해야 할까요?—이런 종류의 이론이 있습니다. 예를 들어, 주된 목적이 옳다면 단 한 번의 악행이 허용되고, 단 한 번의 잘못이 있어도 수백 번의 선행이 허용된다고 생각하는 것과 같은 이론입니다! 재능과 오만한 자존심을 가진 젊은이가 예를 들어 3천 달러만 있어도 그의 경력 전체가 다르게 형성될 것이라는 것을 알면서도 그 3천 달러가 없다는 것은 괴로운 일입니다.

거기에 배고픔, 굴에서 지내는 것, 누더기, 자신의 사회적 지위와 자매와 어머니의 지위에 대한 매력에 대한 생생한 감각으로 인한 신경질적인 과민성을 더합니다. 무엇보다도 허영심, 자존심, 허영심이 있습니다. 하지만 그는 좋은 자질을 가지고 있을 수도 있습니다.... 그를 비난하는 것은 아닙니다. 그렇게 생각하지 마십시오. 게다가 그것은 제 일이 아닙니다. 특별한 작은 이론도 들어왔습니다. 일종의 이론인데, 인류를 물질적 인간과 우월한 인간으로 나누는 것입니다. 즉, 우월성 때문에 법이 적용되지 않는 인간, 즉 나머지 인류, 즉 물질적 인간을 위한 법을 만드는 사람들입니다.

이론으로서는 괜찮습니다. 다른 이론과 마찬가지로요. 나폴레옹은 그를 엄청나게 끌어들였습니다. 즉, 그에게 영향을 준 것은 많은 천재들이 잘못을 저지르는 데 주저하지 않고, 생각하지 않고 법을 어겼다는 것입니다. 그는 자신도 천재라고 생각했던 것 같습니다. 즉, 그는 한동안 그것을 확신했습니다. 그는 많은 고통을 겪었고 여전히 이론을 만들 수 있다는 생각 때문에 고통받고 있지만, 대담하게 법을 어길 수는 없었기 때문에 천재가 아닙니다. 그리고 그것은 특히 오늘날의 자부심이 있는 젊은이에게는 굴욕적인 일입니다....”

"하지만 뉘우침? 그럼 그에게 도덕적 감정을 거부하는 거야? 그가 그런 거야?" "아, 아브도티아 로마노브나, 지금은 모든 게 엉망진창이야.

그렇게 좋은 상태였던 적은 없지만. 러시아인들은 대체로 생각이 넓어, 아브도티아 로마노브나, 그들의 땅처럼 생각이 넓고 환상적이고 혼란스러운 것에 매우 관심이 많아. 하지만 특별한 천재성 없이 생각이 넓은 건 불행한 일이야. 저녁 식사 후 테라스에 앉아 이 주제에 대해 얼마나 많은 이야기를 나누었는지 기억나?

아, 넌 내가 너그러우다고 나를 꾸짖었잖아! 누가 알겠어, 어쩌면 그가 여기 누워서 자신의 계획을 생각하고 있을 때 우리가 이야기를 나누고 있었을지도 몰라. 우리 사이에는, 특히 교육받은 계층에는 신성한 전통이 없어, 아브도티아 로마노브나. 기껏해야 누군가가 책이나 오래된 연대기에서 어떻게든 만들어낼 거야. 하지만 그런 사람들은 대부분 학식이 많고 늙은이들이니까, 사교계에서는 거의 예의 바른 사람이 아니겠지.

하지만 당신은 일반적으로 내 의견을 알고 있습니다. 나는 누구도 비난하지 않습니다. 나는 아무것도 하지 않고, 그것을 고수합니다. 하지만 우리는 이 문제에 대해 한 번 이상 이야기했습니다. 나는 정말 기뻤고, 내 의견에 관심을 갖게 되었습니다... 당신은 매우 창백합니다, 아브도티아 로마노브나." "나는 그의 이론을 알고 있습니다. 나는 모든 것이 허용되는 남자에 대한 그의 기사를 읽었습니다. 라주미힌이 나에게 가져왔습니다." "라주미힌 씨? 당신 형의 기사? 잡지에 실린 기사?

그런 기사가 있나요? 몰랐습니다. 흥미로울 겁니다. 하지만 당신은 어디에 가는 건가요, 아브도티아 로마노브나?" "소피아 세묘노브나를 만나고 싶어요." 두니아가 희미하게 말했습니다. "어떻게 그녀에게 가야 하나요? 그녀가 들어왔을 수도 있습니다. 나는 그녀를 즉시 만나야 합니다. 아마도 그녀는..." 아브도티아 로마노브나는 말을 끝마칠 수 없었습니다. 그녀의 숨은 말 그대로 가빠졌습니다.

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“There’s no denying that you are a brave girl. Upon my word, I thought you would have asked Mr. Razumihin to escort you here. But he was not with you nor anywhere near. I was on the look-out. It’s spirited of you, it proves you wanted to spare Rodion Romanovitch. But everything is divine in you.... About your brother, what am I to say to you? You’ve just seen him yourself. What did you think of him?” “Surely that’s not the only thing you are building on?” “No, not on that, but on his own words.

He came here on two successive evenings to see Sofya Semyonovna. I’ve shown you where they sat. He made a full confession to her. He is a murderer. He killed an old woman, a pawnbroker, with whom he had pawned things himself. He killed her sister too, a pedlar woman called Lizaveta, who happened to come in while he was murdering her sister. He killed them with an axe he brought with him.

He murdered them to rob them and he did rob them. He took money and various things.... He told all this, word for word, to Sofya Semyonovna, the only person who knows his secret. But she has had no share by word or deed in the murder; she was as horrified at it as you are now. Don’t be anxious, she won’t betray him.” “It cannot be,” muttered Dounia, with white lips. She gasped for breath. “It cannot be.

There was not the slightest cause, no sort of ground.... It’s a lie, a lie!” “He robbed her, that was the cause, he took money and things. It’s true that by his own admission he made no use of the money or things, but hid them under a stone, where they are now. But that was because he dared not make use of them.” “But how could he steal, rob? How could he dream of it?” cried Dounia, and she jumped up from the chair. “Why, you know him, and you’ve seen him, can he be a thief?” She seemed to be imploring Svidrigaïlov; she had entirely forgotten her fear. “There are thousands and millions of combinations and possibilities, Avdotya Romanovna.

A thief steals and knows he is a scoundrel, but I’ve heard of a gentleman who broke open the mail. Who knows, very likely he thought he was doing a gentlemanly thing! Of course I should not have believed it myself if I’d been told of it as you have, but I believe my own ears. He explained all the causes of it to Sofya Semyonovna too, but she did not believe her ears at first, yet she believed her own eyes at last.” “What... were the causes?”

“It’s a long story, Avdotya Romanovna. Here’s... how shall I tell you?—A theory of a sort, the same one by which I for instance consider that a single misdeed is permissible if the principal aim is right, a solitary wrongdoing and hundreds of good deeds! It’s galling too, of course, for a young man of gifts and overweening pride to know that if he had, for instance, a paltry three thousand, his whole career, his whole future would be differently shaped and yet not to have that three thousand.

Add to that, nervous irritability from hunger, from lodging in a hole, from rags, from a vivid sense of the charm of his social position and his sister’s and mother’s position too. Above all, vanity, pride and vanity, though goodness knows he may have good qualities too.... I am not blaming him, please don’t think it; besides, it’s not my business. A special little theory came in too—a theory of a sort—dividing mankind, you see, into material and superior persons, that is persons to whom the law does not apply owing to their superiority, who make laws for the rest of mankind, the material, that is.

It’s all right as a theory, une théorie comme une autre. Napoleon attracted him tremendously, that is, what affected him was that a great many men of genius have not hesitated at wrongdoing, but have overstepped the law without thinking about it. He seems to have fancied that he was a genius too—that is, he was convinced of it for a time. He has suffered a great deal and is still suffering from the idea that he could make a theory, but was incapable of boldly overstepping the law, and so he is not a man of genius. And that’s humiliating for a young man of any pride, in our day especially....”

“But remorse? You deny him any moral feeling then? Is he like that?” “Ah, Avdotya Romanovna, everything is in a muddle now; not that it was

ever in very good order. Russians in general are broad in their ideas, Avdotya Romanovna, broad like their land and exceedingly disposed to the fantastic, the chaotic. But it’s a misfortune to be broad without a special genius. Do you remember what a lot of talk we had together on this subject, sitting in the evenings on the terrace after supper?

Why, you used to reproach me with breadth! Who knows, perhaps we were talking at the very time when he was lying here thinking over his plan. There are no sacred traditions amongst us, especially in the educated class, Avdotya Romanovna. At the best someone will make them up somehow for himself out of books or from some old chronicle. But those are for the most part the learned and all old fogeys, so that it would be almost ill-bred in a man of society.

You know my opinions in general, though. I never blame anyone. I do nothing at all, I persevere in that. But we’ve talked of this more than once before. I was so happy indeed as to interest you in my opinions.... You are very pale, Avdotya Romanovna.” “I know his theory. I read that article of his about men to whom all is permitted. Razumihin brought it to me.” “Mr. Razumihin? Your brother’s article? In a magazine?

Is there such an article? I didn’t know. It must be interesting. But where are you going, Avdotya Romanovna?” “I want to see Sofya Semyonovna,” Dounia articulated faintly. “How do I go to her? She has come in, perhaps. I must see her at once. Perhaps she...” Avdotya Romanovna could not finish. Her breath literally failed her.

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