202210278 김민의

[202210278 김민의]

수정 전

Try Me, Arrogance!

 There are plenty of talented people-for example, a college graduate has a certain degree of professional competence, at least above the average person. In other words, in the eyes of ordinary people, their abilities are from there to there. However, there are only a few people who are held up and revered. What makes them different from 'general experts'? In other words, what characteristics of them fascinate people?
 First of all, it is 'humility'. We compete indefinitely throughout our lives according to the logic of capitalism. Therefore, in order to be respected by people, it is necessary to be recognized as a 'person who can communicate and approach personally' rather than a 'a little exceptional competitor'. The attitude of lowering oneself breaks down the barriers of competition, arouses curiosity, and consequently creates room for the people to show his or her ability. If someone is rude, we don't care how great his ability is, but rather try to ignore him.
 Next is 'Persistence'. It can also be called 'Innovation' or 'Development'. In order not to be culled in any field, efforts must be made to continue to change and develop. Such an attitude is a model and worthy of respect for all members of this society. To borrow an expression‎‎, we-in general, those below the middle class-do not like the 'vested right', but rather try to destroy it. This sense of revolution is always at the base of people's minds, and the fresh shock of breaking down any existing level will be enough to elicit cheers and favor.
 In my case, I often hear absurd remarks that "There is no fixed path in literature," but to argue and refute it one by one, saying, "Don't talk nonsense," is a shortcut to breaking down human relations regardless of right or wrong. In order to gain the respect or favor of others, it is necessary to have personal favor first. Even if humility doesn't suit your nature.

허다빈: 다양한 예시가 주장을 뒷받침한 것 같습니다. 2번째 예시로 썼던 지속에 관한 언급이 결말에 있었으면 좋겠습니다 

이대원: 서론-본론-결론으로 글을 나누어서 체계적으로 글을 쓴 것이 인상 깊었습니다. 또한 마지막에 자신의 경험을 통하여 결론을 뒷받침하는 것이 독자로 하여금 글을 이해하는 데 도움이 되었습니다. 하지만 글을 이해하는 데 있어서 주장에 대한 뒷받침 내용이 직접적으로 이해하기가 어렵다고 생각합니다. 여러 명사에 활용보다는 이에 대한 설명을 풀어서 서술하는 것이 주장을 뒷받침하기에 가독성을 높여주고 독자가 이해하는데 더욱 도움이 된다고 생각합니다 

수정 후

 Try Me, Arrogance!

 There are plenty of talented people-for example, a college graduate has a certain degree of professional competence, at least above the average person. In other words, in the eyes of ordinary people, their abilities are from there to there. However, there are only a few people who are held up and revered. What makes them different from 'general experts'? In other words, what characteristics of them fascinate people?
 First of all, it is 'humility'. As there is a saying that you can't spit on a smiling face, it's hard to be rude to a person with a humble attitude, but rather like it. We compete indefinitely throughout our lives according to the logic of capitalism. Therefore, in order to be respected by people, it is necessary to be recognized as a 'person who can communicate and approach personally' rather than a 'a little exceptional competitor'. The attitude of lowering oneself breaks down the barriers of competition, arouses curiosity, and consequently creates room for the people to show his or her ability. If someone is rude, we don't care how great his ability is, but rather try to ignore him.

 Next is 'Persistence'. It can also be called 'Innovation' or 'Development'. In order not to be culled in any field, efforts must be made to continue to change and develop. Such an attitude is a model and worthy of respect for all members of this society. To borrow an expression‎‎, we-in general, those below the middle class-do not like the 'vested right', but rather try to destroy it. This sense of revolution is always at the base of people's minds, and the fresh shock of breaking down any existing level will be enough to elicit cheers and favor. On the contrary, no one would like an old, stagnant, rotten thing.
 In my case, I often hear absurd remarks that "There is no fixed path in literature," but to argue and refute it one by one, saying, "Don't talk nonsense," is a shortcut to breaking down human relations regardless of right or wrong. In order to gain the respect or favor of others, it is necessary to have personal favor first. Even if humility doesn't suit your nature.

허다빈 - 결론 추가했습니다.

이대원 - 겸손에 대한 일반적 사람들의 반응을 추가했습니다.

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