|
방해 받지 않고 사는 삶
영어 이야기 2010
unencumbered
ʌnɪn│kʌmbərd ]
방해받지 않는
홀가분한
우리 삶에서 '가장 행복한 상태'는 어떤 것인지
사람들 (특히 사회학 분야)이 정의를 내리고 있다
그 가운데 눈에 뜨이는 것을 공유하고 싶다
너무 많지 않은 재산 (수입) 을 가져서 하는 일에 긴장하면서도
제도나 유행에 얽매이지 않는 지유인
Blessed are those who have obsession giving them tension and vigor
and look UNENCUMBERED by fashion.or system
그들에게 긴장과 활력을 주는 집착을 갖고
유행이나 제도에 얽매이지 않게 보이는 사람들이 복되다
(blessed are those 는 성경 마태복음 5장의
예수의 8가지 복을 흉내낸 것임)
대한민국에 이런 사람들이 많을수록 활기찬 나라가 된다
UNENCUMBERED by idealogy as well as prejudice, people who do their best
in any position must be the best patriots.
편견은 물론 이념에 방해받지 않고
그들의 최선을 다하는 사람들이 최고의 애국자임에 틀림없다
unencubered 는 Latin 어의 un (no) + en (in) + combrus (방해물) 이므로
'방해받는 상태가 아니다'라는 뜻이다
자유와 방종을 혼돈하는 젊은 부모들 가운데 이런 사람들이 있다
We are seeking how to care for our children,
UNENCUMBERED by anybody or system..
우리들은 그 어떤 사람이나 제도에 의해 방해받지 않고
우리 자녀들을 보살피는 방법을 찾고 있다
그 결과는 이렇다
Their children run around like colts without reins UNENCUMBERED in any place.
그들은 자녀들은 그 어느 곳에서나 고삐 풀린 망아지처럼
방해받지 않고 뛰어다닌다.
어느 정도 방해받지 않고 개인의 삶을 즐길 수 있다는 사람들에게
이런 얘기를 들려주고 싶다
The religious meditations and prayer flow UNENCUMBERED
종교적인 기도와 명상은 간섭받지 않고 흐른다
Try to live just a one day UNENCUMBERED by your cellphone.
당신의 휴대전화로 방해받지 않는 단 하루라고 살도록 노력하라
"in" (from PIE root *en "in") + combrus "barricade, obstacle,
Grant Hilary Brenner MD, DFAPA
ExperiMentations
PERSONALITY
Unencumbered by ideology, Taylor took whatever position served him best
I wanted him to start his married life unencumbered.
how to care for their children, unencumbered by
I envied that young my youth, carefree, unencumbered , non - trouble - free brain.\
His religious meditations flow uncluttered and unencumbered with irrelevant matter.
Outside, the young women looked serenely unencumbered by fashion.
Though she travels alone, she's not unencumbered.
We're beeper-free, unencumbered by cell phone.
as a spiritual practice, an "unencumbered lifestyle.
Why not travel alone, in single blessedness, unencumbered and swiftly pursuing one's goal?
7 Strategies People Use to End Friendships
New research identifies key approaches and specific steps taken.
Posted April 17, 2023
Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano
key POINTS
Friendships are key to satisfaction, rivaling relationships with family and romantic partners to provide often life-long support unencumbered by the demands of genetic influence or, typically, sexual entanglement.
Friendship, defined by Apostolou, in a recent research paper in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (2023), is “a long-term relationship of mutual affection and support between genetically unrelated individuals”, serves important functions of support and assistance favored by evolutionary forces of survival.
article continues after advertisement
Friendships provide family- and partner-like support during times of stress and fullness, going beyond practical interdependence to create an intimate bond based in close attachment, forming the basis of a tight-night community.
In addition to support, friendship also serves to stave off loneliness (shown to be detrimental to well-being), as a way to promote the search for a mate, and to advance personal goals through collaborative effort.
On that last point, nowadays more than ever, the critical role of relationship in business development has become ever clearer.
encumber (v.)
early 14c., "burden, vex, inconvenience," from Old French encombrer "to block up, hinder, thwart," from Late Latin incombrare, from in- "in" (from PIE root *en "in") + combrus "barricade, obstacle," probably from Latin cumulus "heap" (see cumulus). Meaning "hinder, hamper" is attested in English from late 14c. Related: Encumbered; encumbering.
Ripping Off the Band-Aid vs. the Slow Burn
With an interest in studying specific strategies people use to end friendships, Apostolou notes that there are two big buckets: immediate termination and gradual termination, each with pros and cons.
The benefit of immediate termination is that whatever negatives there are in being friends stop immediately, but there is a risk of consequences, including conflict, retaliation, and unnecessary harshness, along with “burning bridges”.
Gradual termination is more palatable, leaving room for continuing acquaintanceship, less risk of conflict and retaliation, and keeping the door open to either rekindling the friendship or gaining benefit from the other person, who may (for example) have useful expertise independent of being a suitable friend.
People end friendships for several reasons, including loss of affection, clashing of values, and distress in the friendship, such as betrayal, as well as due to selfishness, romantic involvement (the dreaded "friend zone"), drifting apart (lack of frequent interaction), and disapproval by family and friends.
article continues after advertisement
Developing a Granular Understanding of How Friendships End
So, with the above in mind, how do people end friendships? Apostolou conducted a two-stage study consisting of first, qualitative (narrative) research with 225 people who were asked to discuss how they went about ending friendships. Their narratives were then analyzed to identify common factors. This was followed by a quantitative stage in which the factors found were were analyzed with a fresh group of 469 people to identify and refine the core strategies.
There were seven overarching strategies, comprised of 43 distinct and sometimes overlapping actions designed to bring friendships to an end.
1. Stop spending time with him/her. Stopping spending time, stoping calling, cutting the person out of future plans, avoiding seeking to go out with them, stopping looking for them, stopping contacting them, meeting less often, being unavailable to meet, minimizing direct and indirect communication as much as possible, ceasing to share thoughts, problems, or secrets with them.
THE BASICS
What Is Personality?
Find counselling near me
2. Have a talk. Telling them honestly why, stating they wanted to end the friendship, having a civilized conversation explaining why views and characters no longer match, stating the friendship no longer could continue, stating the reasons for the need to distance oneself, telling them they are not happy with the friendship any longer and it is not a good idea to continue, seeking a one-on-one meeting to explain why the friendship is not progressing, clearly sharing concerns, texting or emailing the reasons the friendship was ending.
article continues after advertisement
3. Make communication more formal. Replying to messages only in a formal tone, contacting only on special occasions, becoming colder.
4. Talk badly to the former friend. Using bad language to explain why they didn’t want to be friends anymore, ending friendship by talking badly (e.g. being mean), being abrupt with him or her, telling mutual friends about displeasure with friend, hoping they would spread the word.
5. Make excuses to avoid her or him. Not accepting invitations saying they were busy, making excuses not to meet, responding to messages after a long delay, failing to answer phone, email or texts.
6. Gradual fade out. Indirectly distancing oneself, attempting to distance oneself slowly, finding ways to pull back in a roundabout way.
PERSONALITY ESSENTIAL READS
CEOs and the Fate of Organizations
Stemming the Emotional Tide in Borderline Personality
7. Ghosting. Disappearing, disappearing without explanation, cutting off contact, cutting off every line of communication, not talking with him or her again, unfriending or blocking on social media, avoiding going to places where they might meet, avoiding the person directly, showing indifference to the person upon making contact.
article continues after advertisement
Further analysis showed that gradual termination was the most common strategy used, grounded in communication becoming more formal, with gradual fade-out and stopping spending time together, followed by talking about it. Immediate termination was the less common approach, based in ghosting, talking badly to the person, and finding excuses to avoid them. Compartmentalization–interacting with the person in limited contexts only–was identified as a possible fourth strategy, potentially a form of gradual termination.
Personality traits influenced likelihood of using different strategies to end friendships. More agreeable people were more likely to use gradual termination, those more conscientious were less likely to ghost or just stop spending time together, and more extroverted individuals were more likely to talk about ending the friendship.
The only sex difference uncovered was that men were more likely to use talk-badly strategies than were women, while older individuals were more likely to use avoidant approaches like ghosting and finding excuses to steer clear.
Further Considerations
Future research can further explore the important questions surrounding why and how people end friendships, following up on key questions such as which strategies are most effective under what circumstances, whether people tend to start off softer and up the ante if the person doesn’t “get the hint”, and what the consequences of different strategies are, such as ghosting versus talking through the friendship’s end.
The research is important in terms of furthering general understanding of how relationships end. Especially when business and personal relationships overlap more and more, in these times of quiet quitting and quiet firing, explicitly articulating common practices for beginning, maintaining and terminating relationships takes on particular relevance.