People who struggle with the concept of forgiveness– both for themselves and for others– often find comfort in a deeply healing age-old practice that comes from Hawai’i. The beautiful Hawaiian teaching for Forgiveness is called “Ho’oponopono” (pronounced HO-oh-Po-no-Po-no), and it’s lovely.
This ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness functions as both a communication concept for reconciliation and a tool for restoring self-love and balance.
In solo practice, it can also work sort of like a mantra for self-love. And, even more surprisingly, it’s super simple.
The word ho’oponopono roughly translates to “cause things to move back in balance” or to “make things right.” It’s a very zen-like concept. (In native Hawaiian language, “pono” means balance, in the sense of “life.” When things are in balance, nothing is off, so to speak.)
Accordingly, chanting this phrase over and over is a powerful way to cleanse the body of guilt, shame, haunting memories, ill will, or bad feelings that keep the mind fixated on negative thoughts.
As a forgiveness practice, it is also deeply resonant, as it tends to penetrate our inner monologue over time. To try it out for yourself, follow along with the practice, below.
“I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.”
That’s it. And isn’t that something we all need to hear? “I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.” It’s very touching, especially given how simple and universal these words are.
With regular practice, reciting these four simple phrases helps develop self-love and self-esteem at the times when we need it most. In this way, it’s both a lullaby to the self and a guaranteed insightful way to approach forgiving other people.
Part of the reason why this traditional Hawaiian forgiveness ritual is so powerful is that it first requires you to acknowledge that wrong was done by saying you’re sorry.
Having other people acknowledge our feelings is a universal need; in ho’oponopono, you must first acknowledge that wrongdoing exists, which is a way of acknowledging these feelings. Only then will it be possible to find it in your heart to forgive someone else, or yourself.
In the final step, you acknowledge love– both for yourself, and others.
Most people, when attempting to forgive either others or themselves, make the mistake of thinking that forgiveness = total absolution, or an erasing of the wrongdoing. This is ultimately futile because it ignores hurt feelings, which inevitably bubble back up later if they are not addressed.