이진영 자매 간증입니다 - 중앙대 네비게이토 선교회

[주님사랑해요^^]

Good afternoon! I’m Jin Young and I belong to a group of loyalty B. I thank God gave me this chance and full of grace. I was born at a rural town in Gyeongsangbuk-Do Sangju, as a second daughter among 1 son and two daughters. My family lacked nothing economically and my parents were getting along. When my mother was busy, my grandmother took care of me.

This place was a rural where I was raised, though I studied a little, I could get good scores. Not many people who draw, I won many awards in art contest. By God’s grace, I entered University without any problem. Therefore, I used to here such a good daughter without any problem and a model student. I also thought I really was. From now on, I would like to share my enjoying blessings to you after I met Navigators.

First of all, I’ve known God’s love to me and realized the grace of salvation.

I attended a church since childhood, when I was a middle and high school student. I served my church as a vice-president. But after entering the University, I started a long way off with the church. At that time, I had not only faith like to find a new church, but also I wasn’t active to make friendship with strangers in an unfamiliar church. I’m in Western painting department. Comparing to other departments, most people have unusual thinking and their own world.

Because “difference” would be recognized, so many people tried to be more distinctive one. I was a normal person in there. I had not only special talents, but distinctive characteristics. Compared with freewheeling lifestyle friends, I was a sincere person in my work. I was also close with professors, so some of my friends hated me because they thought I was trying to impress to the professors. Woman schoolmates drank well more than man schoolmates. They drank everyday with various seniors and they stayed there until last. I just drank once or twice a week quietly with my friends. So I thought that it was nothing. I didn’t have any discernment, I drank and let my juniors did it with bowl. I thought that drinking like this would be well match with Western painting major. My department has night work a lot, it is so called “ Ya-Jak”. The objective is working hard during all night, but around 1 or 2 a.m. we drink or fall asleep in our practice room. I was living a life completely dejected, nevertheless I thought and liked, “What a free life”. I liked working in sleeping time. I had no notion that I should sleep in my dormitory. Not in common mood like that, still I thought ” I’m such a normal and ordinary person”, but on the other hand, I judged some of my friends who lived without rules more than me.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (JOHN 10:10)

What is right, what kind of standards I should follow, I had no notion. I have been working nights and sleeping days and drinking easily ruined my health and my life which I always wanted was empty.

At that time, God brought me to meet Navigator sister. At first I was a crow among the white birds. In the light I realized I was in the darkness. My life was not normal. I sinned a lot. I was afraid that my sin would be revealed. I was angry when I remind my life.

But Jesus said that

"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin. (John 8:10,11)

Jesus, the only God who can judge me never judge me. And he said to me to live a new life.

I like that Jesus doesn’t judge me. But I did not care Jesus’ pain. (He was whipped and pierced. He got disgrace and insult. )

I did not know God’s mind about me and I did not want to know that. I thought I am a sinner but just light sinner. I thought if Jesus would change my life, it would be good. I thought the cross love lightly.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. (Isiah 53:5,6)

I learned how dirty people are through the SCL.

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

I realized that my mind is really like this. I can’t judge me comparing with others. We are all sinners.

And the biggest sin is that I did not give thanks to God about the cross love.  

Missonary Mrs. Lee said to us about a documentary, " the last chance " which consists of verbal evidences. They came here from the hell. One man was battered by alcohol and narcotic. He had an accident with other people and the main artery was cut. At that time he saw the hell. People were butning. He saw one person whom he knew. He was a bad person and he had a traffic accident. He said " Never come here. Here is terrible. Once you come here, you never go out. "

He could become alive and never forget this.

their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. ( 계 21:8)

The hell is true. It is too terrible. Once we go there, we never come out. It is the place which I had to go because of my all dirty sin.

I did not know the place and I could not imagine the pains. Jesus knew all these things. But he died on the cross to save me.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us

(Romans 5:8)

In front of the death, what is really important?

Eval‎uations from the people which I long for or some righteous activities in my sight?

Can I hide all my sin ? The only important thing is believing in Jesus Christ.

I gave thanks to Jesus about the salvation and I was also so happy and joyful. Also I enjoyed the fellowship with God. I give thanks to God who make me realize to know God's grace.

2, My life have changed by God's grace and fellowship with sisters.

God filled my needs every time I prayed from the day I met Navigator and started studying the Bible. He gave me a par-time job whenever I needed and now I'm teaching art at school. Usually to get this job you have to make 30 or more applications to apply. And even if you get qualifications for having interview and some tests for the job, there are more steps that you have to go through. However, I could get this job with one application and no interview. What I did was praying to God. Then later I got a part-time job for somehow through other people.

God gave me this part-time job and he also took care of me with the problems that occurred during work.

I am such a flighty person. Once I made final exam paper for the student at school and I made a mistake. I made two same answers for a question! And sometimes I went to the class with other class's exam papers. For each class they have different numbers of exam papers. So if I get the wrong paper then the other teacher must be upset and both classes can be in trouble. And when my class students had done with their exams I forgot that I　had to supervise next class exam and left school early. Actually there are more of these kind of shameful mistakes that I made.

"And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you will honor me."

Plasm 50: 15

I thank God that he saved me from all the mire and answered faithfully to my pray.

But more thanks to letting me know myself and living a changed life.

I'm teaching art at 보성 high school now. There I tell other teachers about my changed life and I use to say the words 'I wasn't like that before' to them. I used to like drink with a big bowl and forced others to drink but I don't drink anymore. I concern about other people and love them but before I wasn't really care about others because I enjoyed being myself. I didn't wake up early before which I do now. You can hear these kind of story in other Navigator brothers' and sisters' testimony but whenever I told them they were very curious about how person can change like that. Since the school is missionary all teachers go to church and some of them are presbyter or teaching the Bible at church. But not all of people can change their lives even if they believe God. I realized that the place where I am here is special.

I was afraid of the next Word.

"As water reflects a face so a man's ehart reflects the man"

Proverbs 27 : 19

I was uncomfortable with talking about myself because people would know that I was faking. And I didn't know how to share my heart with others. Sisters told me that people whoever knows me more get hurts more. I might look like really care of others and kind to them but actually I wasn't really. I just did what I could do but it wasn't my best. People who came to me thinking that I must be nice they all disappointed at me when they knew me more. I had a friend known for 10years, but now we don't even say 'hi' to each other. Whenever I made a split of the tongue she tried to solve out. And this repeated several times and finally we had an argument. At the end I said sorry to her but I didn't really mean it. She was hurt very much and cut off the relationship with me. I was fine with it since I didn't care that much. Sisters who helped me had difficulties with my heartless personality. But Mr. & Ms. Lee and the other sisters showed me their unfalling love toward me. I wasn't good listener especially when other sister told me about myself. And if I did something wrong, I tensed during the personal fellowship. But actually personal fellowship was for me. It was the only time that sister could help my personal problems. And many christians who has spiritual heart searching for this fellowship. Before I didn't know how much sister (who was helping me) care and think about me. She was giving her time to helping me while I was concentrate on my thinking like how dose she thinks about me or why her face is like that today? etc.

My leader prayed for me eagerly who was unlovable person to realize God's love and be happy. I was so impressed to know that she prayed for only my own. I thought other sisters also acted like me. For example, my mind and activities are different so I thought others are same like me. I always talk which is good to listen so I thought others do like me. I judge so I thought others do. So I can't trust sisters.

However they are different from me and love me with God's love. Even Missonary Mrs. Lee taught my leaders.

She always thinks of me and helps my Basic. One day she visited our training house. At that time she helped each sister. She was worried about me who was very weak in spiritual area and had wrong principles. She taught me to write principles and pray for them. If I were her, I give up people like me but she gave me a chance to live in the training house for a long time with sisters who had same character like me.

A sister had fellowship with me continuously because I was bothered by concentrating on my self

Whenever I live in training room, I should have fellowship by same topic.

I don't know how many fellowships they gave me. They helped me all the time, walking, exercising, washing the dishes. And if I concentrate on myself again, they helped again.

A sister who feared people helped me about that area.

She spoke to me that I must think myself in front of God and the reason of character is that I have an egocentric propensity.

When I cook something I get much stress and the result was terrible.

Cold and strange mushroom pepper pot, unripe potato, mystery noodles...

Then sisters helped me that why I got stress this much and why I did not develop, what is the problem and solution, etc... They gave me the solutions with God's Word. But if I do same things, again they helped me with gentleness. Through this process, I became to know how poor I am.

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Through the help of sisters, I came to know myself and became humble and could train looking up God and praying to God eagerly.

Where can I get help about this character problems?

Most people think this character is impossible to change.

Here they loves me with God's love, helped me to the end not judging but making me change to be used by God, above all they helped me to know God and have the relationship with God. Here is the heaven.

In the world, they invest in something which is sure. But Jesus and Missonary Mr. Lee and Mrs. Lee invested in me who is very weak. They gave me everything, their lives...

I am changing thanks to them. I realized the gladness of sharing heart. And God made me love others.

Even though I am lacking person but others can see my mind so the thing I have to do is to pray and do my best. I can feel comfortable when I meet others.

Third, The Lord has given me the grace by participating of vision's life

I had the wrong idea for a long time.

I had thought. If you love the cross of Jesus, he want to live a life of vision. I would like to live a life of vision.

Regarded as a blessing to live a life of vision, a life well lived, a guiding the future, a happy marriage, etc. was good. But I'm not interested in someone. To give my time and heart to other people, to talk about his good and to struggle was a tough job.

So My heart was always a line.

Because I want to receive the blessings, I evangelize. But How important this is why I did not know what to.

If God give me a Man, I focus to my lack. I did not think how I help him. Rather, under stress condition was getting worse.

With a Man were uncomfortable.

If there's anything he was talking for the benefit, that's always my leader's share.

The Lord said to me, "I want to live you a life of vision" But I did not know the Lord and How precious soul was not interested.

To the last opportunity, Some people did not believe in Jesus and died and then they have experienced the hell. But other people believed in Jesus and died. They were different.

In his eyes passed his life like a movie.

And The Lord said to him, "What are you doing for living?"

he replied, "I worked hard for a Boy Scout activities."

Then again the Lord said to him, "What are you doing for living?"

He could not answer.

The Lord must have been expected his word. "I lived a life in fellowship with the Lord and only I love Jesus."

The Lord must have been wanted his life. "I did not live for himself and I lived for the Lord, the Soul and eternal thing."

To know the last eval‎uation and criteria of eternal eval‎uation and how to live is privileged.

In order to enter at the Art University, I apprehended the type of practical test at each university and drew a picture suitably.

I painted a picture more than 12 hours. Because My picture did not develop, I felt heavy. Somehow, I tried to change.

I was also fit the criteria for the university but I could not claim my style about criteria of eternal eval‎uation.

Somehow, I should be done.

When I thought the Lord's love and the heart rescued me from hell, Psalms 116:8,12- For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me?, the grace given to me and now I do not know his favor is what I could repay?

As soon as I changed a thought, turn about people's attitude occurred.

Heretofore, I didn't a good and was self-focused. So I did not say anything.

But now I decided to tell and the Lord has given you follow me. The Lord did know me what a joy to walk with the Lord.

When I talk with teachers at the school, the Holy Spirit tell me in my mind.

'Now is the best time. Talk about this.' When I obey at once, the teacher listen to my story and she believe in Jesus.

I was a naff man and unable to do. But when I obeyed the word, I got out a self-focused and He could be used as the Lord's passage.

When I got stuck in my thought while working, I have painful.

That teacher is a certified teacher of skills and a pretty face, etc... I was hard in comparison.

The Lord gave the promise by Hebrews 6:14- saying, "I will surely bless you and give you many descendants." but 'This happens through me?' I think it was a heavy burden.

But I didn't get stuck in my thought. When I thought that I'm gonna go and let the story and now I have to tell the gospel to children, I survived.

And I was able to give God a precious soul.

I did not know such a worth life. And even if I did know, I couldn't live such a life.

The Lord gave me the grace and this life.

saying, "I will surely bless you and give you many descendants." Now this word is expected.

Because the Lord accomplish the promise.

My prayer request

To love God with my all heart, power, will

Not to insist myself and only to obey God’s Word

To be the laborer and love the souls and bear fruit.

[단국 병기든 자]

은혜스런 간증 감사합니다.

[단국디베랴의맑은물]

주님께서 주신 놀라운 선물과 변화들~ 잘 읽고 갑니다.