Protecting Our Marriage Paradise (Matthew 19:1–12)

[Stephan Choe]

July 23, 2026

Key Verse 19:6: “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Is the marriage on the rocks? [1]

Divorce is a major issue in both Germany and Korea. According to the newspaper “Die Welt,” the divorce rate in Germany is described as affecting "every second marriage." Cited causes for divorce include disorderliness (just under 30 percent) and television programming (over 20 percent), among others. Korea, like Germany, also has a very high divorce rate.

What view should we, as Christians, take regarding divorce? How can we better overcome a marital crisis?

To find the right solution to the problem of divorce, let us first understand the fundamental truth about marriage. From this, we can discover the proper solution for a marital crisis.

May God grant us true insight and bless us with a happy married life.

1. The Question of Divorce (1–6)

Chapters 19 and 20 recount the events that took place between Jesus’ departure from Galilee and his arrival in Jerusalem. This journey marks his final trip to Jerusalem.

Jesus' last journey to Jerusalem through Perea [2]

Jesus sets out from Galilee (19:1), crosses the Jordan River, travels along its banks, crosses the river again near Jericho, and proceeds via Jericho to Jerusalem (20:29).

The region beyond the Jordan—that is, the eastern side of the river—is called "Perea" (4:15; 8:18), since the Greek word for "beyond" is “peran.” Perea was a strip of land east of the Jordan River, approximately 30 km wide and 80 km long. From the mid-2nd century BC onwards, increasing numbers of Jews migrated into Perea; consequently, many Jews lived there during the time of Jesus. It is therefore not surprising that Perea, like Galilee, was part of Herod Antipas’s territory.

A large crowd follows Jesus on His journey, and He heals those in need of healing.

Along the way, Pharisees approach Jesus and ask Him a trick question, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?"

This question remains highly relevant today.

How does Jesus answer?

If He were to answer "No," they would criticize Him as a harsh teacher; if He were to answer "Yes," they would label Him a teacher who disregards the law.

How does Jesus respond to their question?

He begins by explaining the fundamental truth about marriage. To arrive at this fundamental truth, we must first understand the basic truth regarding who instituted marriage. Once we have the correct answer to that question, we can find the right answer to the question of divorce: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"

To the question "Who instituted marriage?" many people today would answer: human beings—men and women—themselves. Yet the Bible teaches us that God instituted marriage (Genesis 2).

Why did God establish marriage? So that man and woman may live happily within the divine order and serve God. And this divine order refers to the spiritual hierarchy—namely, God first, then man, and finally all other things.

Let us now consider how Jesus answers whether divorce is permissible.

Whether divorce was allowed—and if so, on what grounds—was a subject of heated debate even then. Proponents of divorce cited Deuteronomy 24:1 to support their position.

It states there:

"If a man takes a wife and she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found something shameful (or offensive) about her, and he writes a certificate of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her out of his house..."

The Pharisees viewed this passage as clear permission for divorce. However, they disagreed on the meaning of the phrase "something shameful (or offensive)." One group of scholars held the view that a man could separate from his wife if she had been unfaithful. Another group was of the opinion that a man could divorce his wife if, for instance, she let the food burn. A third group went even further, arguing that a man could divorce his wife if he found a more beautiful woman.

Jesus does not rely on tradition but on the Word of God, answering them,

“Have you not read (in the Bible): ‘He who created them at the beginning made them male and female. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate’?” (4–6).

Jesus draws upon the biblical truth regarding marriage and provides the answer to the question of divorce: God created man and woman and united them in marriage. Therefore, one must not divorce one’s partner.

Here, Jesus explains that marriage is a sovereign act of God. Many believe that a man and a woman marry of their own free will. To a certain extent, this is true. Yet marriage is more than just a decision made by the two spouses; it is a sovereign act of God.

Why is marriage a sovereign act of God? Because God is the Creator and Lord of both the man and the woman. He created them both. He gave them parents, siblings, education, a home, work, and much more; He sustains and cares for them throughout their lives. He has generously provided them with air, water, and sunlight. In His own time, He brings them together in marriage. Even though it may appear that marriage comes about through the decisions of the man and the woman, the creative, caring, and guiding hand of God lies behind it. We must therefore acknowledge that God is the Lord over the man and the woman, as well as over their marriage. When we grasp this fundamental truth, we can recognize and enjoy God’s blessing upon the family. We can honor God as the Lord of the family and discover His wonderful will. In this way, married life becomes a journey on which we discover divine blessing.

The Bible also teaches us that, through marriage, man and woman become “one flesh.” That is why it is written in Genesis 2:24: "They—meaning husband and wife—shall become one flesh." "Becoming one flesh" means that husband and wife are no longer to be viewed as two separate individuals. Since the two have become one through marriage, the husband ought to love his wife as himself, and likewise, the wife ought to love her husband. Have you ever seen someone mistreat their own body? In the same way, husband and wife should love one another and be of one heart—for the glory of God and for each other's well-being.

When spouses internalize and live out this truth about marriage, the thought of divorce never even crosses their minds. Instead, they succeed in overcoming all difficulties and leading a blessed life.

However, if one partner fails to properly embrace this truth, problems arise. For instance, if a husband does not love his wife as himself but instead demands one-sided obedience, he becomes a tyrant. Loving means not only feeling affection but also respecting the other person's opinion and promoting their well-being. The same applies if a wife disregards her husband's opinion and seeks only to impose her own will and desires; she then acts as a ruler over her husband, turning him into a mere puppet.

Young people should lay the foundation for a happy marriage before they even get married. Without this foundation, their married life will face significant difficulties.

Before I began my university studies, I was not yet a Christian. In the period leading up to the university entrance exam, I had to focus on it day and night. At the start of my studies, I still held rather romantic notions about love. Yet, as early as the second month of my freshman year, I found my way to a church; I quickly came to faith and began to get actively involved in the student mission. Together with other believers, I dedicated myself to this mission day after day with great zeal. Collaborating with fellow believers during my university years was excellent preparation for my own happy married life. At that time, I worked alongside male students such as David Woo, Abraham Kim, and David Lim, as well as female students Seokhee Choi, Jangwon Son, and Younggi Yoon. Through this heartfelt collaboration, I learned to work together warmly, overlook one another's weaknesses, and appreciate each other's strengths.

When God’s time had come, He led Esther into my life. I married her with God’s blessing; we were able to love one another and serve God and others in a way that brought blessings.

When young people embrace biblical teachings and put them into practice, they mature in faith; in God’s perfect timing, they can establish a blessed family and enjoy a blessed marriage.

However, we must not be proud of ourselves. Rather, we should thank God for His goodness and have an open heart toward others experiencing difficulties in their marriages. Any form of self-righteousness runs contrary to God’s will.

2. Because of the hardness of your hearts (7–12)

When Jesus said, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate!”

The Pharisees asked, “Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce if he divorces her?”

With this question, the Pharisees imply that Moses, too, approved of divorce.

Jesus explains to them:

“Moses allowed you to divorce your wives because he knew your hard hearts. But that was not God’s will when He instituted marriage in the beginning. But I say to you: Whoever divorces his wife—except for adultery—and marries another commits adultery” (8–9).

The hearts of the Israelite men were hardened, and they were determined to separate from their wives. Therefore, Moses wanted to help the women who were being cast off by their husbands. He instructed the men to issue a certificate of divorce and hand it to their cast-off wives so that they could remarry.

In conclusion, Jesus says, “But from the beginning it was not so. But I say to you: Whoever divorces his wife—except for adultery—and marries another commits adultery” (9).

Here, Jesus emphasizes sexual purity and the protection of marriage. Both are of great importance to Christians and the Christian community. The family is the fundamental unit of the church and society. If the cells of our body are diseased, the body cannot be healthy, even if it might appear healthy on the outside. Healthy families are essential for the church and society. Therefore, it is a matter of great importance to us in prayer that God protects and blesses our marriages. We should also pray that He grants healing to people in marriages shaken by crisis. Thus, the church has two tasks regarding marriage: to foster blessed marriages and to help those in difficult marriages so that they may experience healing in Christ. Jesus Christ has called our church and the Christian community to this mission. We ought to pray earnestly for this.

After the Pharisees have left, the disciples express their opinion to Jesus: "If the situation between a man and his wife is like that, then it is better not to marry."

The disciples find Jesus' teaching difficult. This remains a common objection to Jesus' teaching on marriage today.

What does Jesus say about celibacy?

He answers: "Some are incapable of marriage from birth; others are made so by human intervention. And still others have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven."

There are people who lack sexual potency from birth. There are also people whose reproductive glands have been removed.

Our Marriage Paradise

Marriage is a great blessing from God. It is a paradise on earth. God instituted marriage so that people might live happily in Him and praise Him (Genesis 2).

Building this marriage paradise requires proper preparation. We should create the conditions for a happy marriage. Each individual should examine themselves: Am I self-willed, or do I put God and the well-being of others first? We should learn to face difficulties with patience, faith, and wisdom, and to encourage others. Those who are not yet married should remain patient and, in God's time, establish a blessed family.

Our marriage is a little paradise. Within it, the diverse, beautiful flowers of love should bloom and bear abundant fruit. We ought to praise God and offer Him the fruits of our love. Amen!

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[1] https://www.test.de/Scheidung-Ehescheidung-5203605-0/

[2] http://slideplayer.org/slide/660078/