에필로그 I-3

[모나리자]

그녀는 계속해서 그들에 대해 이야기했고, 심지어 거리에서 낯선 사람들과 대화를 나누기도 했습니다.

두니아는 항상 그녀와 동행했습니다. 대중 교통과 상점에서, 그녀가 청중을 사로잡을 수 있는 곳이라면 어디에서나 그녀는 아들, 그의 기사, 그가 학생을 어떻게 도왔는지, 그가 화재로 어떻게 타버렸는지 등에 대한 이야기를 시작했습니다! 두니아는 그녀를 어떻게 제지해야 할지 몰랐습니다.

그녀의 병적인 흥분의 위험 외에도 누군가가 라스콜니코프의 이름을 떠올리고 최근 재판에 대해 말할 위험이 있었습니다. 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나는 아들이 구한 두 아이의 어머니의 주소를 알아내고 그녀를 만나러 가기로 고집했습니다. 마침내 그녀의 불안은 극에 달했습니다. 그녀는 때때로 갑자기 울기 시작했고 종종 아프고 열에 들떠 정신이 나갔습니다.

어느 날 아침 그녀는 로디아가 곧 집에 돌아올 것이라고 생각했고, 그가 그녀에게 작별 인사를 할 때 9개월 후에 돌아올 것이라고 말한 것을 기억했습니다. 그녀는 그의 도착을 준비하기 시작했고, 그를 위해 방을 정리하고, 가구를 청소하고, 씻고, 새로운 커튼을 달기 시작했습니다.

두냐는 불안했지만 아무 말도 하지 않고 방을 정리하는 것을 도왔습니다. 끊임없는 환상과 즐거운 백일몽과 눈물로 지친 하루를 보낸 후, 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나는 밤에 병이 들었고 아침이 되자 열이 나고 정신이 혼미해졌습니다. 뇌열이었습니다. 그녀는 2주 만에 죽었습니다. 정신이 혼미해진 그녀는 아들의 끔찍한 운명에 대해 생각보다 훨씬 더 많이 알고 있다는 것을 보여주는 말을 했습니다.

라스콜니코프는 오랫동안 어머니의 죽음을 알지 못했지만, 시베리아에 도착한 이후로 정기적으로 서신을 주고받았습니다. 그것은 소냐를 통해 이루어졌는데, 그녀는 매달 라주미힌 가족에게 편지를 쓰고 답장을 받았습니다.

틀림없이 규칙적으로. 처음에는 소냐의 편지가 건조하고 만족스럽지 않다고 생각했지만

나중에 그들은 이 편지가 더 좋을 수 없다는 결론에 도달했습니다. 이 편지에서 그들은 불행한 형제의 삶에 대한 완전한 그림을 받았기 때문입니다.

소냐의 편지는 가장 사실적인 세부 사항으로 가득 차 있었고, 죄수로서 라스콜니코프의 모든 주변 환경에 대한 가장 단순하고 명확한 설명이었습니다. 그녀 자신의 희망에 대한 단어도, 미래에 대한 추측도, 그녀의 감정에 대한 설명도 없었습니다. 그의 정신 상태와 내면의 삶을 해석하려는 시도 대신, 그녀는 간단한 사실을 제공했습니다. 즉, 그의 말, 그의 건강에 대한 정확한 설명, 인터뷰에서 그가 요구한 것, 그가 그녀에게 준 위임 등입니다. 이 모든 사실을 그녀는 놀라울 정도로 세세하게 제공했습니다

불행한 동생의 모습이 마침내 매우 선명하고 정확하게 드러났습니다. 사실 외에는 아무것도 주어지지 않았기 때문에 실수가 있을 수 없었습니다. 하지만 두니아와 그녀의 남편은 특히 처음에는 그 소식에서 별로 위안을 얻을 수 없었습니다.

소냐는 그가 끊임없이 침울하고 말할 준비가 되어 있지 않았으며, 그녀가 편지로 전해준 소식에 거의 관심이 없는 듯했고, 가끔 어머니의 안부를 묻기도 했으며, 그가 진실을 추측했다는 것을 알고 마침내 어머니가 그녀의 죽음을 말했을 때, 적어도 겉으로는 크게 영향을 받지 않는 듯해 놀랐다고 적었습니다.

그녀는 그가 자신에게만 몰두해 있고 모든 사람과 거리를 둔 듯하지만, 새로운 삶에 대해 매우 직접적이고 단순한 견해를 가지고 있다고 말했습니다. 그는 자신의 입장을 이해하고, 당분간 더 나은 것을 기대하지 않으며, 근거 없는 희망(그의 입장에서는 흔한 일)이 없으며, 주변 환경에 대해 거의 놀라지 않는 듯했으며, 이전에 알고 있던 것과는 너무나 달랐습니다.

그녀는 이렇게 썼습니다.

그의 건강은 만족스러웠습니다. 그는 일을 게을리 하거나 더 많은 것을 하려고 하지 않고 일했습니다. 그는 음식에 거의 무관심했지만 일요일과 공휴일을 제외하고는 음식이 너무 나빠서 마침내 그는 매일 자신의 차를 마실 수 있도록 그녀, 소냐에게서 돈을 받는 것을 기쁘게 생각했습니다. 그는 그녀에게 다른 것에 신경 쓰지 말라고 간청했고, 자신에 대한 이 모든 소란은 자신을 짜증나게 할 뿐이라고 선언했습니다.

소냐는 감옥에서 그는 다른 사람들과 같은 방을 공유했고, 그들의 막사 안을 보지 못했지만, 그곳이 좁고 비참하며 건강에 좋지 않다고 결론 내렸다고 썼습니다. 그는 양탄자를 깔고 판자 침대에서 잤고 다른 마련을 하고 싶어하지 않았습니다.

하지만 그는 어떤 계획이나 의도가 아니라 단순히 무관심과 무관심 때문에 그렇게 가난하고 거칠게 살았습니다. 소냐는 처음에는 그가 그녀의 방문에 전혀 관심을 보이지 않았고, 그녀가 온 것에 대해 거의 화가 났으며, 이야기하고 싶어하지 않았고 그녀에게 무례했다고 간단히 썼습니다. 하지만 결국 이런 방문은 그에게 습관이 되었고 거의 필수적이어서 그녀가 며칠 동안 아플 때 그를 방문할 수 없을 때 그는 긍정적으로 괴로워했습니다. 그녀는 휴일에 감옥 문이나 경비실에서 그를 보곤 했고, 그는 몇 분 동안 그녀를 만나러 그곳으로 데려갔습니다.

근무일에 그녀는 작업장이나 벽돌 가마, 또는 이르티시 강둑의 창고에서 일하는 그를 보러 갔습니다. 소냐는 자신에 대해 마을에서 몇몇 지인을 사귀었고, 재봉을 했으며, 마을에 재봉사가 거의 없었기 때문에 많은 집에서 없어서는 안 될 사람으로 여겨졌다고 썼습니다.

하지만 그녀는 당국이 그녀를 통해 라스콜니코프에게 관심을 가졌다는 것, 그의 일이 가벼워졌다는 것, 등등은 언급하지 않았습니다.

마침내 소식이 왔습니다(Dounia는 이전 편지에서 실제로 불안과 불안의 징후를 알아차렸습니다). 그는 모든 사람에게서 거리를 두고, 동료 수감자들이 그를 좋아하지 않으며, 며칠 동안 침묵을 지켰고 매우 창백해졌습니다. 마지막 편지에서 Sonia는 그가 매우 중병에 걸렸고 병원의 죄수 병동에 있다고 썼습니다.

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She was continually talking about them, even entering into conversation with strangers

in the street, though Dounia always accompanied her. In public conveyances and shops, wherever she could capture a listener, she would begin the discourse about her son, his article, how he had helped the student, how he had been burnt at the fire, and so on! Dounia did not know how to restrain her.

Apart from the danger of her morbid excitement, there was the risk of someone’s recalling Raskolnikov’s name and speaking of the recent trial. Pulcheria Alexandrovna found out the address of the mother of the two children her son had saved and insisted on going to see her. At last her restlessness reached an extreme point. She would sometimes begin to cry suddenly and was often ill and feverishly delirious.

One morning she declared that by her reckoning Rodya ought soon to be home, that she remembered when he said good-bye to her he said that they must expect him back in nine months. She began to prepare for his coming, began to do up her room for him, to clean the furniture, to wash and put up new hangings and so on.

Dounia was anxious, but said nothing and helped her to arrange the room. After a fatiguing day spent in continual fancies, in joyful day-dreams and tears, Pulcheria Alexandrovna was taken ill in the night and by morning she was feverish and delirious. It was brain fever. She died within a fortnight. In her delirium she dropped words which showed that she knew a great deal more about her son’s terrible fate than they had supposed.

For a long time Raskolnikov did not know of his mother’s death, though a regular correspondence had been maintained from the time he reached Siberia. It was carried on by means of Sonia, who wrote every month to the Razumihins and received an answer

with unfailing regularity. At first they found Sonia’s letters dry and unsatisfactory,

but later on they came to the conclusion that the letters could not be better, for from these letters they received a complete picture of their unfortunate brother’s life.

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Sonia’s letters were full of the most matter-of-fact detail, the simplest and clearest description of all Raskolnikov’s surroundings as a convict. There was no word of her own hopes, no conjecture as to the future, no description of her feelings. Instead of any attempt to interpret his state of mind and inner life, she gave the simple facts—that is, his own words, an exact account of his health, what he asked for at their interviews, what commission he gave her and so on. All these facts she gave with extraordinary minuteness.

The picture of their unhappy brother stood out at last with great clearness and precision. There could be no mistake, because nothing was given but facts. But Dounia and her husband could get little comfort out of the news, especially at first.

Sonia wrote that he was constantly sullen and not ready to talk, that he scarcely seemed interested in the news she gave him from their letters, that he sometimes asked after his mother and that when, seeing that he had guessed the truth, she told him at last of her death, she was surprised to find that he did not seem greatly affected by it, not externally at any rate.

She told them that, although he seemed so wrapped up in himself and, as it were, shut himself off from everyone—he took a very direct and simple view of his new life; that he understood his position, expected nothing better for the time, had no ill-founded hopes (as is so common in his position) and scarcely seemed surprised at anything in his surroundings, so unlike anything he had known before.

She wrote that

his health was satisfactory; he did his work without shirking or seeking to do more; he was almost indifferent about food, but except on Sundays and holidays the food was so bad that at last he had been glad to accept some money from her, Sonia, to have his own tea every day. He begged her not to trouble about anything else, declaring that all this fuss about him only annoyed him.

Sonia wrote further that in prison he shared the same room with the rest, that she had not seen the inside of their barracks, but concluded that they were crowded, miserable and unhealthy; that he slept on a plank bed with a rug under him and was unwilling to make any other arrangement.

But that he lived so poorly and roughly, not from any plan or design, but simply from inattention and indifference. Sonia wrote simply that he had at first shown no interest in her visits, had almost been vexed with her indeed for coming, unwilling to talk and rude to her. But that in the end these visits had become a habit and almost a necessity for him, so that he was positively distressed when she was ill for some days and could not visit him. She used to see him on holidays at the prison gates or in the guard-room, to which he was brought for a few minutes to see her.

On working days she would go to see him at work either at the workshops or at the brick kilns, or at the sheds on the banks of the Irtish. About herself, Sonia wrote that she had succeeded in making some acquaintances in the town, that she did sewing, and, as there was scarcely a dressmaker in the town, she was looked upon as an indispensable person in many houses.

But she did not mention that the authorities were, through her, interested in Raskolnikov; that his task was lightened and so on.

At last the news came (Dounia had indeed noticed signs of alarm and uneasiness in the preceding letters) that he held aloof from everyone, that his fellow prisoners did not like him, that he kept silent for days at a time and was becoming very pale. In the last letter Sonia wrote that he had been taken very seriously ill and was in the convict ward of the hospital.