[TV 드라마 대본] 'The Simpsons, season 1, episode 'Krusty Gets Busted' (심슨 가족, 시즌 1, '크러스티 들통나다' 편)' 시작 부분

[BRUCE]

Hey, kids! Who do you love? - Krusty! - How much do you love me? With all our hearts! What would you do if I went off the air? We'd kill ourselves! What's that, Sideshow Bob? This is Brittany and today's her birthday? Well, happy birthday, Brittany! How do you want to celebrate? Do you want me to sing you a birthday song? Or do you want me to shoot Sideshow Bob out of a cannon? The cannon.
The cannon.
- The cannon.
The cannon.
- The cannon.
Sorry, Sideshow Bob, but it's her special birthday wish! You're doomed, Sideshow Bob.
I know we haven't had much luck shooting you out of this cannon, but maybe that's because we haven't used enough gunpowder! Brittany, do the honors.
Don't blame me.
I didn't do it.
Comedy, thy name is Krusty.
Hey, kids, it's time for Itchy and Scratchy! They fight, they bite They bite and fight and bite Fight, fight, fight Bite, bite, bite The Itchy and Scratchy Show Oh, my! All this senseless violence.
- I don't understand its appeal.
- We don't expect you to, Mom.
If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time.
Y'ello.
Hello, Homie.
I was hoping you could pick up a half-gallon of premium ice cream on your way home from work.
Ooh, premium-- Wait a minute.
Why? Patty and Selma are coming over to show us slides from their trip to the Yucatan.
Doh! - Anybody home? - Ooh, I've got to go, Homer.
My sisters are here.
Oh, eight carousels! We're in for a real treat.
Hello, steady customer.
How are you this evening, sir? How ya doin', Apu? - Hello, steady customer.
How are you this evening, sir? - How ya doin', Apu? New flavor-- triple chocolate! Perhaps a little something for the trip back to the cash register.
What's the matter, sir? Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream.
The reason I look unhappy is that tonight I have to see a slideshow starring my wife's sisters.
Or as I call 'em, the Gruesome Twosome.
- Ow, my foot, you lousy, stupid, clumsy-- - Sorry, pal.
Hand over all your money in a paper bag.
Yes, yes.
I know the procedure for armed robbery.
I do work in a convenience store, you know.
You can emerge now from my chips.
The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone.
- This is our tour group.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is a Mexican delicacy called a taco platter.
- Mmm, delicious.
- This is Selma taking a siesta.
- "Ay, carumba!" And he had a big nose.
No, bigger.
And big red hair that came out to-- - Yeah, yeah, like that! - Well, it is a simple, charcoal rendering, but, uh, - is this the man? - Yeah! wait a minute.
It's the guy from TV! My kid's hero, Cruddy, Crummy-- Krusty the Clown! Ahh.
Hey, hey, what's goin' on here? Krusty the Clown, you're under arrest for armed robbery.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say-- - Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- What is this, a joke? - Ready, Mr.
Simpson? - Yes, sir.
Send in the clowns.
So, Simpson, which one is it? Well, if the crime is making me laugh, they're all guilty! - No, no! Which one is the robber? - Oh, definitely number Simpson.
- Simpson! - four.
And this is all the mail that awaited us upon our return.
And this is Selma dropping of four vacation film to be developed.
Thus concludes our Mexican odyssey.
Hmm.
Very thorough.
I'm home, everybody! -Oh, goody gumdrops.
-You missed the whole slide show, Homer.
Oh, fantastic.
Marge, you're never gonna believe what happened.
I was down at the Kwik-E-Mart minding my own business when-- Ooh, ooh, ooh, the news! Springfield's number one news team with our Emmy Award-winning anchorman Kent Brockman, Good evening, I'm Scott Christian.
Kent Brockman is off tonight.
Why did the clown cross the road? To rob a Kwik-E-Mart.
The news story behind that enigmatic half-joke right after this commercial message.
Wait a minute.
Bart, you know that guy on your lunch box? Oh, you mean, Krusty the Clown? - He's sort of a hero of yours, isn't he? - Are you kidding? He's my idol.
I've based my whole life on Krusty's teachings.
- Uh, maybe you'd better run off to bed.
- Krusty the Clown is behind bars after a daring twilight robbery of a local Kwik-E-Mart.
- Krusty! - Oh, no! Earlier this evening, the Springfield SWAT team apprehended the TV clown, who appears on a rival station opposite our own Emmy Award-winning Hobo Hank.
And just in, actual footage of the crime taken with the Kwik-E-Mart security camera.
The reason I look unhappy is that tonight I have to see a slide show starring my wife's sisters.
Or as I call 'em, the Gruesome Twosome.
- Oh, Homer.
- So, the truth comes out.
- Hand over all your money in a paper bag.
- Oh, Krusty, how could you? I know it looks very bad, honey.
Who knows, maybe it'll turn out he was innocent all along.
Earth to Marge.
Earth to Marge.
I was there.
The clown is G-I-L-L-T-Y.
- You're my best friend.
- Thanks, Krusty.
Buy my cereal.
Buy my cereal.
I didn't do it! Oh, I wish I could believe you.
Good evening, again, Springfield.
Krusty the Clown, the beloved idol of countless tots, now nothing more than a common, alleged criminal.
His trial, which begins tomorrow, has taken center ring in a national media circus as children of all ages from eight to 80 hang on each new development like so many Romanian trapeze artists.
From his humble beginnings as a street mime in Tupelo, Mississippi, Krusty clowned his way to the top of a personal mini-empire with dozens of endorsements, including his own line of pork products.
This may have led to one of television's best-loved bloopers-- Krusty's near-fatal, on-the-air heart attack in 1986.
Wasn't that a great Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, kids? Well, we've got another one coming right up.
But first, I've got a hankerin' for some pork products.
Mmm.
Look.
Plump succulent sausage, honey-smoked bacon and glistening, sizzling-- I'm dying.
I'm dying.
But a quick triple bypass and a pacemaker later, Krusty bounced back.
However, he was a changed clown.
Where his show had been condemned by parents and educators alike as simpleminded TV mayhem, this new Krusty devoted a small portion of every show to stamping out illiteracy in today's anything-for-a-thrill youth.
Give a hoot.