Is Fear Keeping You from Speaking Up and Stepping Up?
VALORIE BURTON
“… Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be
discouraged,
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9b (NIV)
I cringe when I think about just how deep my insecurities must have been that day.
I was in my last semester of grad school /studying journalism, and I
had an internship /with a minor league hockey team
/in Tallahassee,
Florida.
*A graduate school (sometimes shortened as grad school) is a school
that awards advanced academic degrees (i.e. master's and doctoral
degrees) with the general requirement that students must have earned a
previous undergraduate (bachelor's) degree with a high grade point
average.
One day, I was sitting /in the team office /when the head coach came
/bounding through the office saying, “Rosa Parks is somewhere in the
building! She’s in town to speak or something. I’m going to go try to
meet her,” he added, looking at the few of us sitting at our desks.
My mind raced. It would be amazing to meet Rosa Parks. But Terry was
the head coach, and I was just an intern.
Yet, as he reached the door /to
head to the civic center, he looked /directly /at me and said, “You
should come.”
Now, to most, this might seem like a no-brainer. But in the few
seconds between his statement and my response,
a flurry of negative,
self-sabotaging thoughts overwhelmed me.
Even years later, I remember
the panicked thoughts that hit me:
Who am I to bother Ms. Parks? She’s probably here on business, and I’ll be interrupting her.
What if she doesn’t want to speak to me? I’m just an intern.
What will I say if we get her attention?
With those thoughts, I quietly told Terry, “No. I better stay here
and finish my work.”
And although it wasn’t [what I wanted to do], I sat
/at my desk and continued to work.
Terry returned /45 minutes later
/with a big smile /on his face. “I met her!” he said, his eyes /filled
with excitement.
“I got a picture, too.” Then he turned to me, “You
should have come.”
My heart sank. I felt sick. Or rather, I felt small. I’d shrunk /from what I really wanted. Why didn’t I speak up and say yes when he’d invited me?
Ever been there? Maybe it wasn’t the opportunity /to shake hands with a
legend, but the chance to give your opinion, negotiate for a better
deal or simply speak your truth. But when the moment came, the words and
courage left you.
My reaction that day reflected a deeper issue /affecting my career and
personal life. My anxiety about rejection meant
() I hesitated to share
ideas /even when my idea was truly a great one. When it came /to saving
money, it meant () I’d pay more /for something /even though I knew () I could
get a better price.
It seems () I’m not alone. Research shows that we women tend /to
underestimate ourselves. As a result, we are more likely to shrink from
possibilities, second-guess ourselves and settle for less than what’s
possible.
We are also more likely to be perfectionists, so we’ll spend more
time thinking about the perfect approach /to a conversation or problem
/but become paralyzed to speak up — fearing that failure is too great a
risk.
But here’s what we must remember: We have God with us. God’s Word says,
“… Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9b).
It wasn’t until I connected my fear /with my faith [that I truly had a breakthrough].
*it = [that I truly had a breakthrough]
James 2:17b says, “… faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead”
(NIV).
In other words, your actions must line up with your faith.
This
means showing up as though you belong.
Speaking up /when He prompts your
heart’s desire. And seizing opportunities /when God places them before
you.
*seize; to grasp mentally; understand clearly and completely: to take possession of by force or at will:
Lord, give me courage to step up and speak up rather than allow fear
to paralyze me. Grant me wisdom to know what to say when I get
flustered. Help me see myself /as You see me, rather than through the
lens of any insecurities or doubts () I may have. Free me /from fear //that
masquerades as perfectionism and gives me an excuse to put off important
conversations for another day. Help me become the wise, bold,
courageous woman I know You’ve called me to be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
* masquerade; a false show or pretense.