Subject: Chemistry at work
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1. What did one atom tell another?
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I think I lost an electron
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Are you sure?
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Yes, I'm positive.
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2. A small piece of sodium which lived in a testube
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fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame!
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I melt whenever I see you" said the sodium. The bunsen
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burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going
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through".
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4. A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender:
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" How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and
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says: "For you, it's no charge".
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5. Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
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Because it was polar.
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6. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
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A one molar solution.
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7. What do dipoles say in passing?
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Have you got a moment?
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8. Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
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Because it's in the ground state.
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9. What do you do with a dead chemist?
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Barium
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10. What weapon can you make from the elements
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potassium, nickel, Iodine and iron?
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A KNIFe.
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11. Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
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They're cheaper than day rates.
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13. What did one titration tell the other?
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Let's meet at the endpoint.
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14. Why are chemists great for solving problems?
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They have all the solutions.
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15. Do you know what happened to the chemist who was
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reading a book about Helium?
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He just couldn't put it down.
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17. Why do chemistry professors like to teach about
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ammonia?
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Because it's basic stuff.
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18. What is a cation afraid of?
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A dogion
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19. What did the match tell the flame?
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Baby, you make me lose my head.
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22. Why did the ice cube get divorced?
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His wife said he was too cold.
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23. Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
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They bonded well from the minute they met.
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24. What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
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Methylated spirits.
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25. If H20 is water what is H204?
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Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .
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26. A psychotic chemist came home from work and had a
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big fight with his wife. In the heat of the moment, he
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grabbed a bottle of some lethal chemical substance and
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forced her to drink it while he screamed: " Die Ethyl,
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die". The wife dropped dead on the floor and the
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neighbors who were watching the scene, decided to call
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the police. The policemen arrived and arrested the
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chemist. One of them asked: Was there any reason for
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you to kill your wife? The chemist replied: " There
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was no chemistry between us. We never bonded well
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although we tried.In the compound where we lived, our
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temperaments collided. She always responded negatively
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to my comments. Our relationship was unstable. There
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was no possible solution. She had an attitude and I
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was explosive. Finally, I overreacted. But now I'm
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glad it's over. I'm in equilibrium again.I will feel
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free even behind the irons."
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27. A group of organic molecules were having a party,
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when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole
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all of the guests joules.A tall, strong man, armed
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with a machine gun came into the room and killed the
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robbers one by one.The guests were very grateful to
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this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He
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replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
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28. According to a chemist, why is the world so
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diverse?
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Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
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첫댓글 울학교 학과홈피에 돌아다니는 글이랍니다.. 이걸 이해하는 내자신이 정말 어처구니없게 느껴지는군요.. 이걸 모두 이해하는 당신은 진정한 화학도~
할줄아는게 한국말 밖에 없으므로 무효~~ㅋㅋ
여기는 유머 올리는 곳이지 자기 자랑을 하는 곳이 아닙니다~ㅋ
씨...
자! 우리의 해석기로 저 의도를 알아맞춰봅시다.
Don't be cocky, honey. If you want to share your stories with people here, transtrate them first.
푸하하하...재밌다~!
↑어색-0-
26번은 재밌는데 27번은 재미없다
이런 신발샛길..
산소와 수소가 결혼한걸 내가 어떻게 알어?? =ㅅ=.. 염장즐~
haha it's very funny
you head bing bing??
그..그게 해석을 하려 했지만 하면 오히려 이상해져서 그냥 둔건데..흐흑..
흠... 대략 그렇고 그렇다는 얘기 같네요
한국인은 한국어만 잘하면 된다.
oh~~no~!!!
show me the money...........
험험..우리말을 사랑해야지!! 신토불이 몰라?? -_-;;
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ진짜재밌다.ㅋㅋㅋㅋ 아 웃겨죽겠다 >0<ㅋㅋ
별로 재미없는데.....
-_- 너무 재밌다 정말 재밌는데? 정말 죽어버리겠네 -_-
난 다 알아............. 난 다 안다구.
이거 드르륵 안한 사람~~
아하하하하하하하..........................ㅜ_ㅜ 아하하하하하하하.....................ㅡ_ㅡ+
재민네