Today's story title is "Caillou Goes Round the Block." One day, Caillou was riding a bike. When Caillou arrive arrived home, Caillou's mom was sleeping in on a bench. Then, Caillou was wants wanted to goes go round the block him self by himself. So, Caillou goes went round the block. While he was goes going round the block, he met his friend. His friend was playing hopscotch. And he met a big dog. Caillou was felt scared felt scared. When he met a big crow, Caillou was very very felt scared felt very scared, so he was crying cried. And he met a lady. The lady was gave gave a tomato to Caillou, and the lady was go went to Caillou's home with him.
Score: B+
Tips:
- 'goes' 대신 'went'와 같은 과거 시제가 더 적절합니다. 이야기가 과거 시제에 맞춰져야 해요.
- 'was felt'처럼 중복되는 표현 대신 'felt'를 사용하면 문장이 더 자연스러워요.
- 반복되는 'was' 표현을 생략하거나 자연스럽게 바꾸면 글이 더 읽기 쉬워집니다.
- 추가 팁: 문장에 감정 표현을 조금 더 추가해 보면, 독자가 Caillou의 모험을 더 생생하게 느낄 수 있을 거예요. 예를 들어, Caillou가 강아지를 만났을 때의 구체적인 반응을 추가하면 이야기가 더 풍부해질 수 있어요.