King Arthur And What Women Want

Subj:     King Arthur And What Women Want (S135, S580b)           From: mbucher on 8/27/99       and From: RFSlick on 4/29/2004  Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch  of a neighboring kingdom.  The monarch could have killed him,  but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness.  He offered Arthur  his freedom, if he could answer a very difficult question.  Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a  year, he still had no answer, he would be killed.  The question  was:  What do women really want?  Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgable man.  To young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query.  Since it was  better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to  have an answer by year's end.  He returned to his kingdom and  began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the  priests, the wise men, the court jester.  In all, he spoke with  everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.  What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as  only she would know the answer.  The price would be high, since  the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant  prices she charged.  The last day of the year arrived and Arthur  had no alternative but to talk to the witch.  She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her  price first:  The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most  noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest  friend!  Young Arthur was horrified:  she was hunchbacked and  awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water,  often made obscene noises... He had never run across such a  repugnant creature.  He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure  such a burden.  Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke  with Arthur.  He told him that nothing was too big of a  sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the  Round Table.  Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the  witch answered Arthur's question:  What a woman really wants is  to be able to be in charge of her own life.  Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth  and that Arthur's life would be spared.  And so it went.  The  neighboring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total  freedom.  What a wedding Gawain and the witch had!  Arthur was torn  between relief and anguish.  Gawain was proper as always, gentle  and courteous.  The old witch put her worst manners on display.  She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone  uncomfortable.  The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling  himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom.  What a sight  awaited!  The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him!  Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened.  The beauty  replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been  a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self,  and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.  Which would he want her to be during the day and which during  the night?  What a cruel question?  Gawain began to think of his  predicament:  During the day a beautiful woman to show off to  his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old  spooky witch?  Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch,  but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments?  What would you do?  What Gawain chose follows below, but don't  read  until you've made your own choice.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.  Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful  all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be  in charge of her own life. What is he moral of this story?  THE MORAL IS THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOUR WOMAN IS PRETTY  OR UGLY, UNDERNEATH IT ALL, SHE'S STILL A WITCH.