The Wonder Years

Episode 31 - "The Pimple" OPENING SEQUENCE -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ext. Night - Arnold House (High wide shot of the house, with the sound of crickets. The camera moves in slowly.) Growing up in the suburbs, in the '60's, you were pretty much sheltered from the forces of change unleashed by the outside world. (The camera settles just behind the Arnold lamp-post. Ominous music starts.) But what about the forces of change unleashed from within? Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. Night - Arnold Living Room (Close shot of the TV screen, showing the movie "I Was A Teenage Were Wolf", starring Michael Landon. He is standing in a corner of a hallway, next to a fire extinguisher and alarm bell. The bell rings, and he covers his ears. The movie camera moves in on him. He looks off as dramatic music plays.) (Shot past the TV of Kevin on the couch, worriedly looking at the TV.) (Close shot of the TV, which shows a close-up of the actor's face (Michael Landon). The movie camera pulls back a little, as the image ripples slightly, and the actor's face transforms to that of a werewolf.) Change. Not always a pretty sight. (The actor is now totally transformed, complete with large teeth.) (Close shot of Kevin looking worriedly at the TV off-screen.) (Close shot of the TV screen. A female gymnast is hanging upside down at the end of the parallel bars. Shot of the werewolf from her viewpoint, i.e., upside down, as he approaches her. Shot of the woman covering her face and screaming as the movie camera moves in on her. Close shot of the upside down werewolf.) In fact, it could get pretty ugly. (The werewolf shows his teeth and passes the movie camera.) (Close shot of Kevin looking worriedly at the TV off-screen.) But that was the stuff that movies were made of. That wasn't the real world. (Kevin frowns as the TV woman screams. He glance left, then right, then looks over his shoulder one way then the other as the TV woman screams and the werewolf growls.) Or was it? (Kevin looks at the TV off-screen. The music ends.) NORMA (V/O): Oh, my Lord! Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. Evening - Arnold Kitchen (Close shot of Norma looking at a letter.) NORMA: They're coming to visit! (Smiles.) (Close shot of Jack looking slightly worried at Norma off-screen.) JACK: Who? (Shot from the kitchen of all around the table.) NORMA: The Pruitt's. Phil and Claire. (Close shot of Norma looking at the letter.) NORMA: They're gonna be in town next week! (Close shot of Kevin looking at Norma off-screen.) NORMA (V/O): It's been... (Close shot of Norma looking at the letter.) NORMA: Eight...years. (Close shot of Kevin looking at Norma off-screen.) Actually, it had been nine years. (Kevin frowns and glances toward Wayne.) (Close shot of Wayne smiling at Kevin off-screen.) I remembered the occasion quite distinctly. (Close shot of Karen smiling at Kevin off-screen.) It was something... (Close shot of Jack smiling at Kevin off-screen.) I'd just as well... (Close shot of Kevin looking toward down.) Have forgotten. (Kevin look at Norma off-screen.) (Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin off-screen.) NORMA: Kevin, you remember little Gina, don't you? (Smiles.) (Close shot of Kevin frowning and glancing toward Jack off-screen.) Not that anyone was gonna let me. (Wayne rubs his hand through Kevin's hair, and leans closer.) WAYNE: Gina...Gina... (Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin off-screen.) NORMA: You two were always so cute together. (Smiles.) You were like twins. (Close shot of Kevin glancing toward Karen off-screen.) KAREN (V/O): A little more than twins. (Close shot of Karen smiling at Kevin off-screen.) KAREN: Weren't ya, Kev? (Smiles.) (Wayne laughs.) (Wide shot from the kitchen of all.) KEVIN: Come on - we were four years old...(Frowns.) (Close shot of Kevin frowning and glancing off.) In broad daylight, one little innocent game of Ben Casey... (Close shot of Karen giggling at Kevin off-screen.) (Close shot of Wayne giggling at Kevin off-screen.) And I was marked for life. (Close shot of Jack smiling at Karen off-screen.) JACK: Give the kid a break, huh? (Smiles.) (Close shot of Kevin looking down, then at Norma off-screen.) NORMA (V/O): Phil looks like he's put on weight. (Close shot of Norma looking at the letter.) NORMA: And look - Gina's really growing up. (She looks at Karen off-screen, then smiles as she looks at a photo.) (Close shot of Kevin looking off and smiling slightly.) It was hard to imagine. Little Gina Pruitt. (Close shot of Norma smiling as she hands the photo toward Kevin off-screen.) Always a scab on her knee, a dirty face... (Shot of Kevin smiling slightly as he reaches for the photo.) Loved to make mud pies... (Close shot of the photo in Kevin's hands, showing Gina in a black dress, with her parents, all smiling at the camera.) Hello! (Twang of guitar.) (Close shot of Kevin looking intently at the photo.) (Closer shot of the photo.) (Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin off-screen.) NORMA: What a pretty young girl she turned out to be. (Smiles.) (Close shot of Kevin looking at Norma off-screen. Sound of an office bell.) Paging Dr. Arnold, paging Dr. Arnold. (Kevin looks up and smiles.) (Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin off-screen.) NORMA: Maybe you can show her a nice time when they're here. (Close shot of Kevin looking at Norma off-screen.) For this girl? (Kevin smiles slightly as he looks at the photo.) I'd swim the deepest ocean, climb the highest mountain. (Kevin looks up uncertainly.) KEVIN: Well...(frowns)...if-if you really think I should. (Wide shot from the kitchen of all as Wayne leans closer to Kevin and looks at the photo.) Yep - talk about change. (Closer shot of Kevin smiling at Wayne.) This was total metamorphosis. (Kevin tilts the photo toward Jack and gestures.) (Close shot of Jack looking at it dreamily.) (Close shot of Norma looking at Jack off-screen.) NORMA: Jack? (Close shot of Jack smiling at the photo, then turning toward Norma off-screen.) JACK: Oh... (Jack gives Norma a funny look.) (Close shot of Kevin smiling at the photo.) Ah-huh. (Kevin looks toward Norma off-screen and smiles.) Nature was definitely smiling on me. (Kevin glances at Jack off-screen, then looks at the photo.) Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mr. Cantwell's Class (Close shot of the projector screen. The movie shows a bolt of lightning, then a tornado, with the title "Catastrophe's and Other Natural Disasters") MR. CANTWELL (V/O): Nature, a harsh mistress. (Shot of Kevin and Paul at a table, and Mr. Cantwell in the background standing next to the projector.) MR. CANTWELL: A planet which appears to be engulfed in a blue-green gown of tranquility... (Kevin slides the photo out of his notebook.) (Closer shot of Kevin and Paul as Kevin nudges Paul and points at the photo.) MR. CANTWELL (V/O): Is in reality a swirling mass of matter... (Kevin smiles and looks at the movie off-screen, as Paul takes the photo and looks at it.) MR. CANTWELL (V/O): In the constant throes of transition. (Shot past Kevin of Paul.) PAUL: This girl had a crush on you? (Shot past Paul of Kevin looking at him.) KEVIN: Yeah, well, in kindergarten. (Smiles.) (Shot past Kevin of Paul.) PAUL: And she's coming to your house? (Close shot of Kevin nodding, then looking toward the movie off-screen.) Maybe I was bragging, but I knew Paul would appreciate my good fortune. (Kevin glances toward Paul off-screen and smiles.) (Close shot of Paul looking forward and frowning slightly.) PAUL: Oh, man. (Paul shakes his head and looks at Kevin off-screen.) PAUL: I'd be worried. (Close shot of Kevin frowning at Paul off-screen.) KEVIN: Worried? (Gestures.) (Shot of Paul and Kevin.) PAUL: What if something goes wrong? KEVIN: Wrong? (Smiles.) Paul, what could possibly go wrong? (Gestures). (Shot of the projector screen showing a storm.) (Close shot of Mr. Cantwell next to the projector.) MR. CANTWELL: For centuries, man has tried to predict when and where nature will wreak her havoc. (Shot of the screen showing a building on fire.) (Close shot of Mr. Cantwell next to the projector.) MR. CANTWELL: With no success. (Close shot of Kevin looking at the movie off-screen, frowning slightly.) PAUL (V/O): I don't know, it just sounds to good to be true. (Kevin glances toward Paul off-screen.) (Shot of Kevin and Paul. Paul is looking at the photo.) PAUL: Things like this don't...just happen. (Gestures.) (Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen, then Mr. Cantwell off-screen.) (Close shot of Mr. Cantwell next to the projector.) Apparently Cantwell... (Shot of the movie screen showing an inactive volcano.) And Paul shared the same world view. (The movie cuts to a building being shattered and crumbling to the ground.) (Close shot of Mr. Cantwell next to the projector.) MR. CANTWELL: Things fall apart. (Shot of Kevin and Paul.) KEVIN: Yeah, so, bottom-line, Paul...You happy for me or not? (Smiles.) PAUL: Sure, I'm happy. KEVIN: Good! (Kevin looks toward the movie off-screen and smiles.) PAUL: I-it's just that... (Shot past Paul of Kevin looking at him.) KEVIN: What? (Frowns.) PAUL: You just never know, Kevin. (Shot past Kevin of Paul looking at the photo.) PAUL: That's the worst part - you just...never...know. (Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.) Ah, well - the world is full of pessimists. Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ext. Morning - Arnold House (Shot of the house and car in the driveway. Grieg's "Morning" from Peer Gynt Suite No. 1 plays as a rooster cock-a-doodle-doos.) Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. Morning - Arnold Bathroom (Shot of Kevin in pajamas, entering the bathroom.) Me? (Kevin yawns.) I was optimistic about change. (Kevin raises his arms and stretches.) I mean, look! (Kevin rubs his eyes.) Even old Kevin Arnold wasn't turnin' out so bad. (Kevin looks at the mirror.) A little taller, a little more filled out... (Kevin smoothes his shirt and smiles.) (Shot past Kevin as he looks at his reflection in the mirror and rubs his hand over his face.) Yeah, probably couldn't get away without shaving much longer - you could feel the whiskers... (Shot of Kevin in profile, looking toward the mirror.) Startin' to push their way to the... (The music ends. Kevin pauses.) Wait a second. (Kevin frowns and tenetaively raises his hand.) This was no whisker! (Kevin puts his hand on his cheek.) This was... (Kevin leans forward slightly.) (Shot past Kevin as he looks at his reflection in the mirror and touches his cheek.) Doom. (The camera moves in closer.) This was disaster. This was - KEVIN: A zit. And not just any zit. KEVIN: A zit! (Frowns.) (Kevin frowns at his reflection as he feels his cheek.) My first zit. Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kevin's Bedroom (Shot from the bedroom toward the door as Kevin hurriedly slams the bathroom door and runs up the hallway and enters, closes the bedroom door, and leans back on it.) Betrayed by my own glands, I went throught the four classic stages. Denial... KEVIN: No. (Frowns.) No. (He bangs his head on the door.) KEVIN: No, no! Not now. Not me! (Frowns.) (Wider shot of Kevin as he pulls phonograph records from his chest of drawers onto the floor.) Anger. (He walks to his other chest of drawers and angrily scatters more stuff. He leans his elbows on the counter.) (Close shot of a candy bar lying next to Kevin's aquarium.) Guilt. (Kevin's hand picks up the candy. The camera pulls up and back slightly as Kevin frowns att he candy, then drops it, and sighs.) (Shot from above as Kevin falls back onto his bed.) And finally... (Kevin reaches past his head for a pillow, and sets it on his face.) Depression. NORMA (V/O, distant): Kevin, honey - breakfast. (Shot from in front of Kevin as removes the pillow and looks toward the door off-screen.) Still, maybe I was blowing this out of proportion. (He sits up.) Making a mountain out of a molehill. NORMA (V/O): Kevin...honey... Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Arnold Kitchen (Shot of the living room doorway as Kevin approaches in a shirt and jeans, then pauses.) I mean, maybe no one would even notice. NORMA (V/O): Honey? (Wide shot of Norma at the counter next to the sink buttering toast, and Kevin in the doorway behind her. She gestures.) NORMA: Give the oatmeal a little stir, and fix a bowl for yourself, would ya, please? (Kevin slowly walks past Norma.) Alright. What we needed to do here was to test the waters. (Kevin turns toward Norma.) KEVIN: Uh, Mom. (Norma glances toward Kevin.) (Close shot of Kevin looking toward Norma off-screen.) KEVIN: How does this shirt look? (Close shot of Norma looking over her shoulder.) NORMA: It's...pulling around the collar... (Close shot of Kevin looking off and taking a breath.) So far, so good. (Kevin looks toward NOrma off-screen.) (Shot of Norma facing away, then looking over her shoulder.) Mom could spot dirty fingernails at the table... (Norma looks forward then at Kevin off-screen.) From thirty yards away. (Close shot of Kevin smiling toward Norma off-screen.) If I could get past her... (Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin off-screen.) NORMA: Oooh - looks like ya got a little pimple, there. (Smiles.) (Close shot of Kevin glancing left and right and frowning.) KEVIN: Mom...(Sighs.) (Wide shot of both.) NORMA: Come on...(Smiles.) (Norma returns to buttering the toast.) NORMA: You can barely notice it. KEVIN: Really? (Norma turns toward Kevin.) NORMA: Oh, now, don't be so self-conscious. (Close shot of Kevin glancing off.) I was thirteen years old - being self-conscious was a fulltime job. (Wide shot of both as Wayne enters from the living room.) Uh-oh. (Closer shot of Wayne as he gets a piece of toast, then looks at Kevin.) WAYNE: What's with you? (Kevin hesitates as Wayne passes.) KEVIN: Nothing. (Kevin looks after Wayne off-screen.) (Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne at the stove.) (Shot of Wayne spooning some oatmeal into a bowl. Kevin and Norma are in the background.) I couldn't believe it - Wayne missed it! (Karen enters from the living room.) (Close shot of Kevin smiling as Karen approaches behind him.) I was in the clear! (Karen looks at Kevin as she stops in front of the refrigerator.) KAREN: Whoa - check out the zit. (Smiles.) (She opens the refrigerator.) (Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne at the stove as he turns slightly.) WAYNE: A zit? (Close shot of Kevin looking off and frowning, as Karen closes the refigerator.) (Shot of Wayne at the stove, and the others behind him.) WAYNE: Well...(Smiles.) (Kevin hangs his head as Wayne turns toward him.) WAYNE: Let's have a look-see, shall we? (Wayne appraoches Kevin with his hands on his hips.) (Closer shot of Kevin, Wayne and Karen. Karen is eating a red apple.) As usual, I could count on my family to treat my private adolescent pain with compassion. WAYNE: Looks pretty deep, Kev. (Karen looks at Wayne.) WAYNE: We might have to...(frowns and gestures)...operate! (Laughs.) (Shot of Norma at the sink, smiling broadly, then turing toward Kevin off-screen as she butters some toast.) (Shot of Kevin, Wayne and Karen.) KAREN: It's from all that junk food you eat. (Frowns.) You should stick to organics...(Nods.) (Karen looks at Wayne and smiles. Karen, Wayne and Norma chuckle softly.) Compassion. Sensitivity. (Karen nudges Wayne.) (Shot of Norma smiling and looking down, then smiling at Kevin off-screen.) And outright snickering. (Shot of Kevin, Karen and Wayne as Kevin frowns and looks forward.) My only hope was my friends would be more forgiving. Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ext. Day - Bus Stop (Shot past Kevin of Paul frowning at him.) PAUL: Ick... (Shot of Kevin and Paul, and some boys behind them. Kevin frowns and looks forward.) KEVIN: Paul... PAUL: Have you been eating fried food? KEVIN: Paul... PAUL: Chocolate? KEVIN: Paul... (Paul looks off, and smiles slightly.) PAUL: I know... (Shot past Paul of Kevin looking at him.) KEVIN: What? (Shot past Kevin of Paul looking at him.) PAUL: Stress. (Kevin looks off and sighs.) PAUL: Have you been experiencing any stress lately? (Shot past Paul of Kevin frowning slightly and looking forward.) Yeah - since the start of this conversation. (Kevin looks at Paul.) KEVIN: Can we just forget about it? (Shot past Kevin of Paul looking at him.) PAUL: Yeah, sure - don't worry about it. (Shrugs.) I mean it's no big deal... (Shot of both standing side-by-side.) KEVIN: Exactly. (Nods.) So can we just forget - (Paul looks off and frowns.) PAUL: Oh my God... (Shot past Kevin of Paul turning toward him.) PAUL: Isn't that girl coming this week? (Close shot of Kevin frowning slightly and looking off.) Ladies and gentlemen - my best friend. (Shot past Kevin of Paul looking off as Kevin looks down.) PAUL: Isn't that always the way? (Shrugs.) I told ya something was gonna go wrong. What are ya gonna do? (The bus approaches in the background and honks.) (Shot of Kevin and Paul looking toward the bus off-screen.) Paul was right. (Paul takes a small step toward the bus. Kevin passes him.) I couldn't stand idly by. Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bus (Shot from the rear of the bus as Kevin enters and pauses.) I needed a plan. (He looks at Paul off-screen.) (Closer shot of Kevin smiling slightly.) Then it came to me. (Kevin looks over his shoulder then forward.) As long as I could keep everyone on the righthand side of my face all day... (Shot from the back of the bus as Kevin hurries down the aisle.) Things would be just fine. (Kevin passes the camera as Paul enters.) (Close shot of Kevin passing the camera and sitting down.) (Close shot of Paul frowning at Kevin off-screen.) PAUL: Hey - that's my seat. (Close shot of Kevin.) KEVIN: This isn't assigned seating. (Frowns.) (Close shot of Paul frowning at Kevin off-screen.) PAUL: Yeah, but I like sitting by the window. KEVIN: Paul, live a little, huh? (Paul looks off and sighs, then looks around for a seat.) (Shot of Kevin as Paul sits next to him. Kevin glances at Paul, then looks forward and smiles.) OK. So far, so good. (Shot from the middle of the street of the bus as another bus approaches from the opposite direction, stoppinig next to Kevin's bus.) (Shot through the window of Kevin smiling and glancing out the window, then forward. He hurriedly turns toward the window again, frowning slightly.) (Shot from Kevin's perspective of the other bus, which is full of girls. They look at Kevin, then each other and start to giggle.) (Shot through the window of Kevin turning forward and covering his cheek with his hand.) Next plan. (Shot of Kevin looking forward, with the girl's bus in the background.) I had to get my mind off this stupid thing. (He turns away from them.) Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mr. Cantwell's Class (Shot of the projector screen showing a diagram of a cross-section of an inactive volcano.) MR. CANTWELL (V/O): Krakatoa. (Shot of Kevin at the table, looking forward and frowning slightly.) MR. CANTWELL (V/O): For years a harmless sleeping giant of a volcano... (Shot of Mr. Cantwell standing next to a slide projector.) MR. CANTWELL: Rising six thousand feet above the quiet waters of Indonesia. (He looks down, and reaches toward a tape recoder.) (Close shot of a reel-to-reel tape recorder as Mr. Cantwell's hand switches it on.) (Shot of Kevin at the table, looking forward and frowning slightly.) (Shot of the projector screen showing a diagram of a cross-section of an erupting volcano.) (Close shot of Mr. Cantwell.) MR. CANTWELL: Boom! Untold tons of rock and ash disgorged into the atmosphere. (Shot of Kevin glancing off and frowning slightly.) MR. CANTWELL (V/O): Man, the hapless victim of catastrophic change. Yep! That was me, alright. (Kevin sighs.) (Close shot of Mr. Cantwell.) MR. CANTWELL: Boom! (Shot of Kevin glancing off and frowning slightly. Mr. Cantwell and the projevtor are int hte background.) Unless...wait a minute - Gina wouldn't be here for a week. (Kevin looks up and smiles slightly.) This thing was bound to clear up in a week. Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. Day - Arnold Kitchen (Close shot of Kevin looking up and frowning.) KEVIN: Two days?! (Gestures.) (Wider shot of Wayne at the refrigerator, and Kevin behind him looking at Norma, who is on a stool putting shelf paper on a shelf.) NORMA: Well, the Pruitt's had a change of plans, honey. KEVIN: They're coming in two days?! (Wayne laughs.) KEVIN: Mom, they can't do this! (Frowns.) NORMA: Honey - what's gotten into you? (Smiles.) (Close shot of Kevin looking off and frowning.) NORMA (V/O): I thought you were looking forward to seeing Gina. (Kevin looks toward Norma off-screen, then Wayne off-screen.) (Close shot of Wayne at the refrigerator as he looks over his shoulder and smiles.) WAYNE: Two days? Oh, gee - that's perfect. She'll be here just in time. (Smiles.) (Close shot of Norma as she puts something on the wall.) NORMA: In time for what? (Close shot of Kevin turning toward Norma.) KEVIN: Never mind. (Frowns.) (Close shot of Wayne closong the refrigerator and smiling at Kevin off-screen.) WAYNE: Aw, Kev. (Shot of Kevin as Wayne steps next to him.) WAYNE: It won't be so bad. After the first few hours, you probably won't even notice all the...(gestures)...pointing and whispering. (Laughs.) (Kevin bats Wayne's hands away and frowns.) (Close shot of Norma as she puts something on the wall.) WAYNE (V/O): Oh, Gina! (Norma looks at the boys off-screen.) (Shot of Wayne smiling over his shoulder as he exits toward the living room.) WAYNE: Oh, Gina! (Exits.) (Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.) Alright - time was against me. But I wasn't gonna be one of Mr. Cantwell's hapless victims. (Kevin looks forward and frowns.) If it was man-against-nature, I'd put my bets on me. I was gonna be master of my own... (Kevin looks down, then glances off.) Pores. Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bathroom (Shot of Kevin in profile, standing at the sink, looking in the mirror. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" starts. Kevin gets a wash-cloth wet and vigorously rubs his cheek.) So I scrubbed. (Shot of Kevin patting his cheek with a pad.) I buffed. (Shot of Kevin in profile, as he pulls a towel back and forth across his cheek.) I polished. (Closer shot of Kevin frowning as he holds the hose from a hair-dryer toward his cheek.) I tried everything. (Shot from behind Kevin as he slowly turns toward the mirror. He frowns and gestures, then leans closer to the mirror and touches his cheek.) And when it was all over... (Shot of Kevin frowning and touching his cheek as the music ends.) I had the most well-groomed pimple on the block. (He sighs and hangs his head a moment, then looks into the mirror. The camera moves in closer. Sound of an alarm bell and movie-music as his face fades into the face of Michael Landon as "the werewolf". The movie scene of the screaming gymnast repeats.) Fade to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mr. Cantwell's Class (Shot of the slide-screen showing a diagram of the cross-section of the crater left after the eruption of Krakatoa.) MR. CANTWELL: ...pressures building up from subterranean depths... (The slide changes to a painting of an eruption.) (Shot of Kevin at the table, looking toward the slide-show off-screen and frowning. The camera moves closer and sideways.) MR. CANTWELL (V/O): Magmatic eruptions beneath the Earth's fragile surface. (Kevin touches his cheek.) By the next day, it was no longer a question of whether this pimple was gonna go away - it was a question of how much bigger it was going to get. (Shot of the slide-screen showing a painting of a glowing crater.) MR. CANTWELL (V/O): Titanic eruptions... (The slide changes to a photograph of a plume of steam or smoke rising from the ground.) (Close shot of Mr. Cantwell.) MR. CANTWELL: Eventually capable of supporting life... (Shot past Kevin of Paul as Paul rubs his eye and yawns.) (Shot of the slide-screen showing a plant on a slope of lava.) MR. CANTWELL (V/O): The mineral-rich lava... (The slide changes to show another plant.) MR. CANTWELL (V/O): giving rise to thick vegetation. (Close shot of Kevin feeling his cheek.) Well, no sign of vegetation. (Close shot of Paul turning toward Kevin off-screen.) Yet. (Close shot of Kevin frowning as he touches his cheek.) (Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.) PAUL: Have you tried steaming your face in lemon water? (Shot past Paul of Kevin as Kevin drops his hand, then turns toward Paul.) KEVIN: Huh? PAUL: No, really! (Shot past Kevin of Paul looking at him.) PAUL: Mom says the only way to get rid of facial blemishes is hot towels and steaming lemon water. (Close shot of Kevin frowning at Paul off-screen.) KEVIN: Lemon water? (Gestures.) (Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.) PAUL: Yeah. It works every time. (Nods.) (Close shot of Kevin frowning at Paul off-screen.) KEVIN: Really? (Kevin glances off, then back.) KEVIN: It worked for you? (Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.) PAUL: Well... (Paul looks off.) PAUL: I never really...well...(Shrugs.) (Paul glances at Kevin.) PAUL: Had a pimple. (Paul looks down.) (Close shot of Kevin frowning at Paul off-screen.) KEVIN: Then how would you know anything about getting rid of 'em, huh? (Frowns.) (Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.) PAUL: Hey, I was just trying to help, OK? (Close shot of Kevin frowning at Paul off-screen.) KEVIN: Yeah, well it's the stupidest thing I ever heard. MR. CANTWELL (V/O): Boom! Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. - Bathroom (Shot of Kevin in profile, in his robe with a towel over his head, bending over the sink as he runs hot water.) Stupid? Maybe. But I was running out of alternatives. (Kevin stands up straight and lifts the towel.) (Shot from in front of Kevin as he holds the towel around his neck, looks into the mirror, and sighs heavily.) So much for taking advice from a rank amateur. (Sound of a closing door. Kevin turns toward the sound.) It was time to enlist the help...of a pro. Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bedroom (Close shot of Wayne.) WAYNE: Go for it! (Shot of Kevin looking in the mirror.) KEVIN: Ya think so? (Frowns.) (Wider shot of both. Wayne has his arms crossed and leans against the wall next to the mirror.) WAYNE: That's what I would do. (Nods.) Think what ya like. (Wayne leans forward slightly and looks at Kevin's cheek.) Wayne was a seasoned veteran on this turf. WAYNE: Squeeze it! (Frowns.) (Shot of Kevin looking in the mirror and frowning in thought.) KEVIN: I don't know... (Shot of both.) WAYNE: It's the only way to get rid of it. (Frowns.) Unles... (Wayne circles behind Kevin.) WAYNE: It makes it about...ten times bigger. (Close shot of Kevin quickly looking at Wayne off-screen, then back to the mirror.) (Shot of both.) WAYNE: But then again... (Wayne taps Kevin's elbow.) WAYNE: It could just go away by tomorrow. (Close shot of Kevin looking in the mirror, touching his cheek.) WAYNE (V/O): Or... (Shot of both as Kevin looks at Wayne, who steps away slowly, gesturing. The camera rolls back and pans with Wayne.) WAYNE: No - the chances of that...(gestures)...happening are really remote. (Close shot of Kevin frowning at Wayne off-screen.) KEVIN: Or, what? (Kevin takes a step forward.) (Shot of Wayne looking at an album cover as Kevin stands next to him.) WAYNE: Well, it could get infected and go directly to your brain. (Close shot of Kevin frowning at Wayne off-screen.) KEVIN: Wayne! (Frowns.) (Shot of both as Kevin gestures. Wayne puts down the album, then turns toward Kevin and gestures.) WAYNE: Hey - if you don't want my help, that's fine. (Wayne pats Kevin on the shoulder.) WAYNE: I'm sure you're gonna figure it out by yourself. (Wayne starts to exit.) (Close shot of Kevin looking off, then frowning heavily at Wayne off-screen.) KEVIN: Wait. (Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne pausing and turning around, then putting his arm against the doorjamb.) Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. - Bathroom (Close shot of Wayne's hand slowly opening a drawer containing bottles and tubes.) (Close shot of Kevin looking at the drawer off-screen.) Wayne's drawer. (Close shot of Wayne's hand moving some items around.) The toxic wasteland of the Arnold bathroom. (Close shot of Kevin looking at the drawer off-screen and frowning.) (Close shot of Wayne's hand picking up a tube. Sound of a Geiger counter.) (Close shot of Kevin looking at the tube off-screen.) It made ya wonder if the Atomic Energy Commission knew about this. (Shot of Wayne holding the tube up and smiling slightly.) WAYNE: Here it is. (Wayne points with the tube and frowns.) WAYNE: Don't ever say I didn't do anything for you. (Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.) Sure - I was suspicious. But maybe Wayne... (Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen and smiling slightly.) Finally saw a little of himself in his younger brother. (Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.) Maybe he'd been down this hellish road himself and understood the seriousness... (Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen and smiling slightly.) Of the situation. WAYNE: Give me a buck. (Frowns.) (Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen and frowning.) Or, maybe he needed a buck. KEVIN: What?! (Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen, smiling slightly, and waving the tube.) WAYNE: Take it or leave it. (Smiles.) (Shot past Wayne of Kevin looking at him.) What could I say? (Kevin frowns and looks off as he reaches in his pocket.) These were desperate times. (Kevin pulls out a bill and frowns. Wayne hold the tube out.) (Close shot of Wayne holding the tube out, and looking at the dollar off-screen. He leans forward slowly.) (Shot past Wayne of Kevin as they simultaneously trade items. Wayne exits past the camera as Kevin looks at the tube and steps toward the mirror.) And the thing did come with an iron-clad guarantee to vanquish even the toughest blemish. (Shot of Kevin turning toward the mirror, then unscrewing the top of the tube.) Plus, I had a date with destiny. (Kevin dabs some stuff on his fingetip, then applies it to his cheek. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" starts.) Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fantasy (Low shot of some flowers in a filed, as Kevin appears, running toward the camera in slow-motion.) (Shot of Gina running toward the camera in slow-motion, smiling.) (Shot of Kevin running toward the camera in slow-motion, smiling.) Somewhere over the rainbow, where kids... (Shot of Gina running toward the camera in slow-motion, smiling.) Don't have to worry about their complexion. (Shot of Kevin running toward the camera in slow-motion, smiling. He looks up.) (Wide shot of both as they approach each other in slow-motion. Kevin trips and falls down.) Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. Morning - Kevin's Bedroom (Shot of Kevin in bed as his alarm clock buzzes. He is startled awake, turns off the alarm, sits upright and frowns.) At least that was the dream. (Kevin looks off as he tentatively touches his cheek.) Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. Morning - Bathroom (Shot of the mirror as Kevin passes the camera and stands at the sink, hoklding a towel and smiling. He turns his head slightly as he looks in the mirror, then starts to dab his cheek.) OK - no sense in hoping for miracles. At worst, it would be reduced to the size of... (Very close shot of Kevin. Sound of rumbling as he removes the towel.) Krakatoa. (The camera vibrates slightly as thr rumble continues.) (Shot past Kevin of his reflection in the mirror.) It was bigger than ever! And it was T-minus twelve hours until Gina Pruitt and I came face to disfigured face. KEVIN: Hhhh...(Frowns.) (Kevin reaches for the medicine cabinet door.) (Shot from inside the medicine cabinet as Kevin opens it, looks over the contents, and removes a box.) There was only one way to salvage my dignity. (Shot of Kevin looking at a Curad bandage container.) My honor. (Kevin looks at himself in the mirror and smiles.) My good name. Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. Day - Cafeteria (Shot past Winnie seated at a table as Kevin approaches carrying his tray, then sits down opposite her. He has a band-aid on his cheek.) (Closer shot of Kevin as he pauses, then looks at his tray.) I was gonna have to lie. (Close shot of Winnie frowning slightly at Kevin off-screen.) WINNIE: What happened? (Close shot of Kevin looking up at Winnie off-screen.) KEVIN: Happened? (Frowns.) (Shot past Kevin of Winnie looking at him.) WINNIE: To your face. (Shot past Winnie of Kevin glancing off, then down, then at Winnie.) KEVIN: Well, ya wanna know the truth? (Nods.) (Shot past Kevin of Winnie as she nods.) (Shot past Winnie of Kevin looking down.) OK - here goes. (Kevin glances off.) KEVIN: I...got into a fight. (He looks at Winnie and nods slowly.) (Shot past Kevin of Winnie looking at him.) WINNIE: What? (Shot past Winnie of Kevin looking down.) KEVIN: I...(shrugs)...got into a fight. (Smiles.) (Shot past Kevin of Winnie looking at him.) WINNIE: With who? (Frowns.) (Close shot of Kevin in thought.) "With who?" With... (Kevin turns and looks off.) KEVIN: With... (Shot from Kevion's perspective as the camera pans across several students, then reverse direction ad settles on a particularly large guy.) (Close shot of Kevin looking off.) KEVIN: Him. (Points.) (Close shot of Winnie looking over her shoulder.) (Shot of the guy in the distance.) (Shot of Winnie turning toward Kevin off-screen.) WINNIE: You got in a fight with Tony Barbella? (Frowns.) (Close shot of Kevin glancing off.) Heck - if you're gonna break a commandment, you might as well get a little mileage out of it. (Kevin looks at Winnie.) KEVIN: Yeah...(Nods.) (Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.) WINNIE: Why? (Shrugs.) (Close shot of Kevin glancing off and frowning.) KEVIN: He was just...(shrugs)...saying some stuff. (Nods.) (Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.) WINNIE: What sort of stuff? (Close shot of Kevin sipping his choclate milk and pausing.) Woops - get out, before you hang yourself. (Kevin frowns at Winnie off-screen.) KEVIN: Look - I'd rather not talk about this, OK? (Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.) WINNIE: Of course. (Nods.) I understand. (Winnie looks down.) (Shot of Kevin looking at Winnie off-screen and smiling, then looking at his food.) (Close shot of Winnie looking up at Kevin off-screen.) WINNIE: That must have really hurt...(Frowns.) (Close shot of Kevin looking at his food, then at Winnie off-screen and frowning.) KEVIN: Yeah, well...(Shrugs.) (Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.) WINNIE: I mean, getting hit right on that pimple. (Frowns.) (Close shot of Kevin pausing as he is about to eat a forkful of food, and looking at Winnie off-screen.) Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. Day - School Hallway (Close shot of Kevin and Tony as Tony lifts him up and shoves him against the lockers.) Ever have one of those days? BARBELLA: I hear you're telling people me and you got into a fight! (Frowns.) KEVIN: What? BARBELLA: You heard me! KEVIN: Listen! There must be some kind of mistake. I-I didn't get into a fight with you! (Kevin looks down.) BARBELLA: So why'd you say you did? (Frowns.) (Shot past Tony of Kevin.) KEVIN: I didn't! Exactly. (Shot past Kevin of Tony frowning and glancing off, slightly confused. He looks at Kevin and holds his shirt tighter.) BARBELLA: B-because I can tell you one thing. (Frowns.) If Tony Barbella ever punched you... (Shot past Tony of Kevin looking at him worriedly.) TONY: You'd end up with more than a just band-aid on your cheek. (Tony sets Kevin down.) (Shot past Kevin of Tony looking at him.) (Close shot of Kevin as Tony pulls the band-aid of his cheek.) (Close shot of Tony looking at Kevin off-screen, and chuckling.) (Close shot of Kevin as Tony sticks the band-aid on Kevin's shirt and exits. Kevin frowns and grabs for the band-aid.) Alright, this was totally out of hand. I'd almost gotten myself killed by a guy... (Shot of Kevin leaning against the lockers as Tony walks away in the background.) Who referred to himself in the third person. (Close shot of Kevin frowning and sighing.) And for what? A lousy pimple - a stupid little... Fade to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. Day - Kevin's Bedroom (Shot of Kevin looking out his window.) Meaningless zit. (Kevin turns away from the window, smiling.) What did it matter... (Kevin spins a football around on his desk and smiles, looking around the room.) In the great scheme of things? Life was too short. I had things to do. (Close shot of Kevin looking down, then up, and smiling.) Places to go. (Sound of the doorbell. Kevin looks toward the door off-screen and frowns slightly.) People to meet. (Kevin steps forward.) NORMA (V/O): Come on in! (Shot of Kevin squatting down beside his chest of drawers with the aquarium on top, and looking around nervously.) PHIL (V/O): Where's Kevin? NORMA (V/O): Oh, I'll get him. (Kevin frowns and stands up, smoothing his shirt.) Well, the moment of truth had finally come. And I knew exactly what I had to do. (Kevin deliberatley walks toward the door, then hurriedly closes it. He leans against it and glances away nervously.) Bar the door, and wait for adolescence to run its course. (Norma knocks on the door. Kevin steps back.) NORMA (V/O): Kevin? KEVIN: Uh...(Frowns.) Don't come in! NORMA (V/O): Honey, Gina Pruitt's here. (Wider shot as Kevin looks toward the window off-screen.) OK - it was time to lay out my final options. (Kevin glances toward the door, then the window off-screen.) I could hit the road. Start running, keep running, and never look back. (Norma knocks on the door.) NORMA (V/O): Kevin... (Close shot of Kevin turning toward the door off-screen.) (Wider shot of Kevin looking down and touching his cheek as Norma knocks again.) Or, I could face reality. (Kevin walks to the door and reaches for the handle.) (Shot past Kevin of Norma entering as he opens the door.) NORMA: Kevin - what is wrong with you? (Frowns.) (Shot past Norma of Kevin looking off.) KEVIN: Nothing! (Frowns.) I...just don't feel like seeing them right now, is all. (Kevin glances at Norma, then looks away.) (Shot of Norma frowning at him off-screen.) (Close shot of Kevin sighing and looking at Norma off-screen.) KEVIN: I don't think I'm up to it. It was my last hope. (Shot of Norma frowning at him off-screen.) Unabashed honesty. (Shot past Norma of Kevin looking at her.) With just a look, I was able to convey all the emotions I'd been carrying around inside me for three days. I couldn't go out there and humiliate myself. (Shot of Norma frowning at Kevin off-screen.) She understood that. NORMA: Kevin - you're going to get out here. (Points.) Right...this minute! (Frowns.) (Close shot of Kevin frowning and sighing.) Then again, maybe not. (Kevin steps forward.) (Shot of Kevin and Norma as she puts her hand on his back, and they walk toward the door.) (Shot from the living room of Kevin and Norma as they approach. Kevin pauses and hangs his head as Norma put her hand on his neck and smiles at the Pruitt's off-screen.) NORMA: Well, here he is! (Smiles.) (Shot of Phil, Karen, Gina (with her back to the camera), Claire, Jack and Wayne. Phil, Jack and Wayne look toward Kevin off-screen, smiling.) (Closer shot of Kevin and Norma. Kevin is looking down as Norma smiles at him and rubs his head.) Step right up folks. Behold the freak of nature. (Norma pats Kevin's back and smiles at the group off-screen.) Not for the faint-hearted. (Norma and Kevin look at each other. She smiles and ushers Kevin forward. Kevin frowns and takes a few steps forward.) Then in a flash, all of my insecurities flew away. (Shot from Kevin's perspective of the group. The camera rolls forward as Gina turns around and smiles.) I saw beauty. I saw grandeur. I saw... (The camera zooms in very close on a zit on Gina's forehead.) It was twice as big as the one on my cheek! (Close shot of Kevin smiling at her off-screen.) (Shot past Kevin of and Claire as Gina approaches. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" starts.) (Close shot of Kevin smiling at her off-screen, and stepping forward.) Fade to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fantasy (Shot of Kevin running through a field in slow motion, smiling, as "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" plays.) (Shot of Gina running through the field in slow motion, smiling.) Fade to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reality (Shot of Kevin and Gina approaching each other and smiling.) (Shot past Gina of Kevin looking at her.) KEVIN: Hi! (Smiles.) (Shot past Kevin of Gina looking at him.) GINA: Hi! (Smiles.) It's nice to see you again. (Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen. He shrugs, shakes his head slightly, and smiles.) KEVIN: Yeah, you too. (Shot of both standing face to face.) It was purple mountains majesty. (Gina touches her forehead, and Kevin touches his cheek. Two pimples passing in the night. (They slowly look at each other, then smile.) Fade to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Int. Evening - The Basement (Shot of Kevin and Gina sitting on the sofa, illuminated by the TV. Gina is eating popcorn slowly. Dramatic music from the movie "I Was A Teenage Were Wolf" plays.) (Shot of the TV, showing a woman screaming, then the Wolf Man is shown baring his teeth.) (Shot of Kevin and Gina as she clutches Kevin's arm. He looks at her as the woman screams again on the TV.) I guess what I was finding out was that when things change, it doesn't mean the end of the world. (Shot of the movie on TV as the woman keeps screaming.) (Shot of Kevin glancing at Gina periodically and smiling.) (High shot of Kevin and Gina on the couch. The camera pulls up and back.) As a matter of fact, sometimes it could work out for the best. Fade to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ext. Night - Arnold House (Shot of the house. The camera pans up and around to the left.) The Pruitts left a few days later. And so did the pimple. And I began to come to grips with the fact that on the uncertain road through adolescence, there were bound to be a few bumps along the way. Cut to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Black Screen (Sound of the woman's scream from "The Wolf Man".) Fade to -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CLOSING CREDITS Many thanks to Jeff Kindig for transcribing the last scene for me :-) Supporting Cast Gina - Heather Green Music "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" - Diana Ross & The Supremes ? - ? Instrumental "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - Theme from "The Wizard of Oz" Episode Titles/Transcripts Episode Info Wonder Years Menu 08/20/00 17:50