영어 자기소개 틀리거나 어색한 부분 수정 좀 해주세요 ㅡㅡ:

[skyblue^^]

Firstly, Thank you for this opportunity to introduce myself.  My name is OOO.

That means the man who is excellent on east area. I guess OOO is located on

the east part of our country so I feel good as apply for your company.

I was born in 19OO and stayed in OOO until now.

I graduated from OOO National University majoring metal engineering.

When I chose it, I didn’t know that much. I was recommended by my ex-teacher.

He told me metal engineering was easy to get job after graduation. Because of

there was big steel company in Pusan.

Studying metal engineering was not easy due to too many Chinese characters and basic subjects.

But I could understand metal is not just material object. It is alive and is transforming according to

the temperature, pressure, cooling speed, and so on. It's Organization and character could be changed

to fit their purpose of use.

I have been to Australia and Japan. In Japan, my elder sister was studying at that time. So I just went

there for 3days. It was short trip and not ready for abroad trip. not enough Language, mind, Knowledge

for that country. 2 Years later, I went to Australia for 12 months as working and travelling.

I got Working holiday Visa that meant I could work and earn money legally. I saved money and spent almost

to travel. It was great experiences to me in my life. I went there alone and met many people. I remembered

their features and missed them whenever I remind that times.

After graduating Universtity, I used to work as a staff of design team for 3 years in OOO which manufactures

ship building product. Since I preferred activated job position, I've changed position as a staff of quality

control&assurance team and worked 2 years.

I could realized the different point of view on designing, managing manufacture & quality.

Keeping good quality is most important factor and it becomes the competitive benefit for growing the business.

[ㄺㅅㅩ]

who is excellent in the east. I guess OOO is located in the north side of Korea so I feel lucky to apply for OOO. 이 후 문장은 생략하는게 나아보입니다. 취업하기 쉬워서 추천받았고 잘 모른 상태로 지원했다는건... 좀 그러네요

[ㄺㅅㅩ]

But I could realized metal is not just material. It is alive and transformed according to the temperature, pressure, cooling rate, and so on. Its organization and character could be changed to fit their purpose of use.

[ㄺㅅㅩ]

So I just stayed there for 3days. It was a short tripand and I was not ready for a trip abroad. 2 Years later, I stayed Australia for 12 months to work and travel. I could work there and earn some money. I spent them only to travel. It was a great experience for me in my life. I went there alone and met many people. I still remembered them and missed them whenever I remind that times.

[ㄺㅅㅩ]

After graduating my Universtity, I worked as a member of design team for 3 years in OOO which manufactures ship building products. Since I preferred active works, I changed my position as a member of quality cotrol&assurance team and worked 2 years. I could realized the different point of view on designing, managing manufacture & quality. Keeping good quality is the most important factor and it becomes the competitive benefit for growing the business

[쪼꼬후레이키]

와 잘보고갑니다

[험프리보]

i think instead of ex-teacher, you had better use "formal teacher in high school" ^^