82호 하늘을 품은 땅 2장 (원제 Flightless, 김 단, 영문 원고)

[한제선]

* 김 단 양은 미국에 거주하는 계간 『니』 어린이 필자입니다. 원고량이 많아 영어 원문을 따로 올립니다. 

2. Because of Me

‘Thank the bird!’ I thought, sighing. After the relief washed over me, I was engulfed with guilt. ‘Topaz almost died because I couldn’t fly. If I could fly, I could’ve escaped with Topaz easily, but I can’t, and never will,’ I thought, refusing to look at my hideous, broken, wings. ‘This succession drama could lead to a war, and if Topaz almost died in a battle like this because of me, then she’s going to be six feet underground only five minutes into the real war,’ I thought with despair. ‘Because of me.’

‘Wait, but it doesn’t need to be that way,’ I realized, hope flickering. ‘I could try finding the healer, real or not,’ I thought, already conjuring a plan in my head. ‘If I can find the healer, my wings could be fixed, and I might learn how to heal Topaz and me if I use my words well enough. Maybe I can even make an alliance with him!’ I thought, making a warm smile.

I admit, it wasn’t the BEST plan. But it’s the only plan. I mean, it’s better to die on a journey than in a battle. When I got home and saw Topaz, I told her my plan, but unsurprisingly Topaz couldn’t understand that we couldn’t do anything else.

“Are you out of your mind?” Topaz yelled, as I sighed. “I’m sorry, I should rephrase this. “YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND!” Topaz bawled at me, as I groaned.

“Topaz, we both know this succession drama is going to lead to a serious war!” I reasoned, as Topaz growled. “And, let’s not forget that there’s a bird who poisoned Falcon! If someone has a poison strong enough to take out a giant like Falcon, they could kill you and me with just 1/8 of that poison!” I continued, as Topaz looked away.

“But if we travel to a healer that doesn’t exist,” Topaz retorted.

“Might exist,” I added.

“Sure, but traveling was dangerous when Falcon ruled. With battles going around now, it might be even MORE dangerous!” Topaz responded, in a low tone.

I sighed. I knew I couldn’t change Topaz’s mind, so I told her the last thing that might convince her to at least move somewhere else. “Topaz,” I started as Topaz jerked her head. “We both know we’re not going to survive if we do nothing,” I cawed, as Topaz’s gaze softened. “But if we do SOMETHING, we at least might live to see a couple more days,” I said, showing how desperate I was to convince Topaz to come with me.

Topaz sighed, and gave me a teasing glance.

“Fine,” Topaz agreed, as my heart lifted. “Someone needs to dig your grave,” Topaz poked fun at me in her playful, signature way. But I knew she was still terrified.

“Don’t worry,” I said, shoving Topaz in the shoulder. “I promise I won’t let you down.” She showed me a smile.

“Well, let’s go!” I said, climbing up the tree.

---

After 1 hour of walking towards the Jay Forest

“So, tell me again why we’re walking towards the forest?” Topaz asked for the MILLIONTH time.

“Because Jay said the healer treated her here, so this neighborhood is the best chance,” I said, as Topaz silently mocked me.

I was annoyed, but I couldn’t really blame her. I gave her all these reasons why comeing here is reasonable, but to be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just going on a hunch.

“And why are we taking a different route anyways?” Topaz complained as I turned around to face her.

“You might’ve forgotten, but we’re taking the safest route, from all the fighting. It might be a long route, but it’s the safe one!” I hissed, as Topaz rolled her eyes.

Topaz was putting up a strong front, but I could tell she was scared, which made me feel bad. I promised her safety, but here we are, walking aimlessly, because of me.

‘But we still need to keep going!’ I thought determinedly.

When I thought that, I didn’t think ‘keep going’ meant walking for two more hours.

“How is this taking so long?” Topaz whined.

“We just needed to take a quick detour since there was a battle nearby. Nothing TERRIBLE!” I reassured, trying to stay calm.

‘Fox DUNG!’ I thought, looking away from Topaz. ‘I think I’m lost. That detour got us completely lost!’ I despaired.

“DROP!”

‘Great,’ I thought, looking up at the grey, stormy sky. ‘It’s raining!’

“Son of a snake!” Topaz cursed. “What an AMAZING day!” Topaz said sarcastically.

“We don’t need sarcasm Topaz,” I scolded as Topaz hissed. “We need shelter!” I yelled, my eyes scouring for a cave, or a fallen tree, to find myself in a great disappointment.

‘No, no, NO!’ I thought, making a small whimpering sound. “There’s no shelter,” I whispered as Topaz whipped her head to look at me.

“What!?” exclaimed Topaz, as I looked away from her gaze. I couldn’t bear to see Topaz’s face, not now.

“The rain is getting stronger; we’ve been walking three hours!” Topaz yelled. “And,” Topaz started, her voice trembling, “I’m tired, Soar. I’m scared!” Topaz admitted, her voice cracking.

‘Look at you!’ I heard in my mind, like another bird was right next to me taunting me, as Topaz and I stood in the painful silence. ‘We’re stranded, have no shelter, and Topaz is crying. I wonder whose fault it is,’ the voice continued, as I started to shiver. ‘Oh right, it’s YOUR fault!’ The voice cackled, as tears flooded my eyes.

‘It’s all my fault,’ I thought, echoing what the voice said. ‘Topaz shouldn’t need to walk this long balance beam because of me, she should be on the wide road, soaring in the sky,’ I grieved, as more tears streamed down my eyes.

“I-I’m sorry—,” I started, before a sharp pain started to spread on my neck. I look at my neck, and saw a thorn shaped object, seemingly pulsing with venom.

“No…” I said weakly, as I saw Topaz get shot, too.

After a few seconds, I could feel the numbness spread through my body until I couldn’t feel a thing. I tried to fight the urge to fall that my body suddenly had, but it felt like stopping sleep.

My last memory was Topaz. Topaz with an angry, scared expression‎, trying to fight the urge like I did. My brain desperately wanting to help, but my body couldn’t even flinch. I fell on the soft, wet grass, my thoughts fading.

And then my eyes closing, giving in to whatever shot me.

---