Cheon Seong Gyeong Ⅱ - 219. Ideal parent-child relationships
11 Parents who have given birth to and raised children understand the desire to receive blessings and feel happiness through their beloved sons and daughters. If they can establish a foundation of happiness and blessings, they want to bequeath it to their offspring for eternity. Even fallen parents hope that their children will grow up as fine people whom all nations can follow, revere and praise eternally. The parent’s heart seeks to protect children from harm and is anxious about them day and night. Even fallen parents have this heart. A mother accepts the smell of her baby’s urine and feces. While nursing her child, she whispers and sings lullabies, while continually wishing for the child’s success in life. Every parent has such a heart. If a child is incompetent or lacking, or suffers from a disability, the parents’ hearts suffer to the point of breaking. If this situation is then resolved, their relief and joy goes beyond the pain they had felt. (20-209, 1968.06.09)
12 Unification cannot be brought about by force. If it could, the world would always be controlled by the one with the greatest strength. Nonetheless, when you talk about having love, the greater person is the one who gives greater love. The greater person lives for the sake of others. The person who is higher should serve the one who is lower. Unification occurs not by domination but through service. That is why all children go to their mother’s bosom when she is near. It is possible only in love. Parents who are suffering and in difficulty have their energy and stamina restored when their children come to hug them. We might think that a strong hug would cause more pain but, in fact, it generates more energy. Love and hugs are sources of happiness. A collision with love revives and reenergizes people who have become tired and worn out. (147-093, 1986.08.31)
13 From the viewpoint of a parental heart, a mother, no matter how attractive she may be, will feel happy if a passerby compliments her baby, saying, “Wow, he’s so much better-looking than his mother!” Even though this implies she is less attractive than her baby, no mother would protest and grumble, “What? Is he much more attractive than I am? Does this mean I am much less attractive?” Rather, she would be unable to contain her joy. This is an example of the maternal heart. Whose heart do you think this resembles? Mothers are resultant beings, not causal ones. A family that hopes that the son will achieve less than his father will decline. If the father is the president of his country but his son’s accomplishments fall short of his, and if this pattern were to continue for some generations, that family might gradually decline and end up in a miserable state. (41-283, 1971.02.17)
14 What is the source and motivation of parental love? The love between a man and woman is changeable, but parental love toward the children born of conjugal love is unchanging. Why? Parental love, which is unchanging love, does not originate from the horizontal conjugal relationship. Parental love originates from a certain vertical flow. Who is the source of that vertical love? It is God. We need an absolute subject partner of unchanging love in the original position with whom we, as object partners, can establish a steadfast relationship. Vertical love is not the kind of love that a husband and wife can enjoy for their own pleasure. Vertical love does not adjust to your self-centered desire to love or not love. But even if you try, you cannot sever it. Your horizontal position affords you no power to change it. Thus, the love of parents toward their children never changes. (48-155, 1971.09.12)
15 The moment a baby’s umbilical cord is severed, a loving heart naturally arises in the parents. Every life form, whether on a high or low level, is created such that it cannot resist loving and protecting its young. Because the act of loving inspires parents to invest and offer their lives as foundation stones for their children, it is clear that parental love is the closest to eternal and unchanging love. This does not mean that parental love can match that absolute nature. It cannot become absolute. Nonetheless, it can serve as a foundation for humankind. It can become a firm foothold in this world, an eternal foothold. Where did parental love come from? It is not learned from the advice of one’s father or the admonition of one's spouse, and it does not come from one’s own decision to love. It happens naturally. Love is something that comes naturally. (48-156, 1971.09.12)
16 As a child, I would often observe bird nests. Once I climbed a tree to look inside a nest and the mother bird started pecking at me. I brushed her aside. She flew away but returned repeatedly, desperate and willing to die to protect her nest. Observing this behavior, we cannot deny the powerful instinct of animals to risk their own lives to protect their young. The same can be said of people. You should be able to invest your life for the sake of love. That is the way of a true person. Which people are truly good? They are those who establish love as their root and try to protect their loved ones even at the cost of their own lives. (186-018, 1989.01.24)
17 What is the limit of parents’ love for their children? Parents love their children beyond their childhood years, through adulthood, and even into eternity. If a relationship is established between a parent and child, through which both feel increasing worth and value, then infinite strength and infinite stimulation—something infinite and new—will arise within that relationship. (32-013, 1970.06.14)
18 What is the origin of love? Love comes from your parents, not from you. There can be no result without a cause. Because you know that you are not the owner when it comes to love, you should not impose your will on others. When you come before your parents, you should say, “Yes, mother and father, you are right.” When your parents remind you, “No matter how great your reputation or power, you cannot do things that deviate from your duty to your parents,” you need to reply, “Yes, yes, yes, mother and father, you are right.” This is based on love. It is because parents are the subject partners and children are the object partners. The subject partner serves the object partner and the object partner follows the subject partner. This is the principle of heaven. Because he is born in accordance with heavenly nature, even an ignorant or uneducated person has a basis for understanding this heavenly principle. Therefore, even the mightiest champion needs to bow his head before his parents. If this principle is violated in a family, that household will lose all its value, and collapse. (050-135, 1971.11.06)
19 Parental love is the first love. We learn of the love between father and mother through our parents, and children who observe their parents’ love for each other feel incomparable joy. Children who have been raised with the empowerment of true parental love become well-rounded people who understand the dynamics of love. They experience receiving one-to-one vertical love when loved by their mother or father, and receiving two-to-one vertical love when loved by both parents. This unique inheritance is possible only through parental love. (62-016, 1972.09.10)
20 Children should be able to say, “My mother and father are the best in the world! They are representatives of God.” When children see their parents’ unchanging hearts and minds, they should think, “We must emulate our parents’ love and unite with each other.” When they can say that, the ideal family is right there. Our mind and heart seek an object partner with whom to unite. If this unity does not occur in a marriage, we lose everything. Thinking seriously about and striving hard to achieve this oneness is the proper way for both men and women. For this reason, we need to build families in which the father and mother are united with God’s heart and love, and in which the children resemble their parents in their unity with God’s heart and love. (97-277, 1978.03.26)
21 There was a time when I was praying deeply in a mystical state, seeking to understand the original foundation of the universe. I received this answer from God: “It is the relationship between father and son. It is father and son.” We understand that our parents gave us birth, but where is the highest meeting place between parents and children? They meet at the central place where love, life and the ideal intersect; then love, life and the ideal are in one location. At that place, God is love, and so are we; God is life, and so are we; God is the ideal, and so are we. The first avenue through which these things can be established is the parent-child relationship. We are all born through the unity in love of our mother and father and their mutual relationship. Thus, in that environment of love, at the junction where two lives are united, our life emerges. A husband and wife should not dislike each other; rather, they should view each other as ideal. When a couple unites in love, conjugal love is fulfilled. At that time, a husband’s love becomes his wife’s love, his life becomes her life, and his ideals become her ideals. (069-079, 1973.10.20)
22 God’s seeds, the seeds of the ideal of creation, are children. No matter how loving a husband and wife may be, their conjugal relationship lasts only one generation if they have no children and thus do not experience parenthood. Without a man, a woman cannot learn to love a man; she cannot know the meaning of love. A man or woman cannot know what love is without a partner. To know love, we absolutely need a husband or wife. The hope of God, too, has been to see His object partners. Are there men or women who want their spouse to be worse than they are? Are there parents who want their children to be worse than they are, or children who want their parents to be worse than they are? We all want our subject and object partners to be more wonderful than we are. (401-229, 2003.01.07) |