RE:•에세이/닿지못한 수평선°°°°°°°

[피터제갈]

■ [Essay] The horizon that has not been reached:

Retrospective of Unfinished Dreams/Story of a Financial Warrior▪▪ ▪▪▪ ▪

When navigating the vast ocean of life, everyone inevitably harbors their own 'North Star.'

To me, that North Star was a dream called an overseas store assignment. For 18 years aboard the massive ship of the commercial bank, crossing rough waves, the place I looked at was always the world beyond the distant sea.

It was not just a simple workplace, but an overseas branch assignment, the ultimate sacred place to prove my skills and blossom my love for the future.

I pride myself on having sufficiently proven my qualifications through both the numbers on paper and the sweat on the ground.

The score of 95 in English obtained from the entrance exam was just the beginning. Whenever foreign customers appeared at the branch counter, I would not hesitate to go to the counter and resolve their difficulties with Korean Essent English. The joy I felt each time I maturely completed interpreting for counter customers and handling financial matters added to the conviction that I was ready to run on the world stage.

In the first and second promotion exams, I chose English without hesitation and confidently passed the gate of passing.

The pinnacle of my dream was the overseas dispatch training notice that came during my time as a chief. Going through Seoul National University's rigorous practical skills test and Yonsei University's intense English proficiency interview, I pushed myself to my limit.

The result was pass. In 1990, when I returned from an advanced foreign exchange training program at RNB DALLAS Bank in Dallas, USA, I felt like I had the whole world.

After returning to Korea, he worked as a foreign exchange manager at branches in Gwanghui-dong, Sewoon, Gwanghwamun, and Toegye-ro, after working in the International Sales Department, and his passion was truly unparalleled.

Especially, the memory of achieving first place in traveler's check sales performance during my time at the Sewoon branch, receiving a commendation from the bank president, and going on a reward vacation to six Southeast Asian countries was the most brilliant medal in my financial life.

His skills were perfect, and he was ranked number one among those waiting to be appointed as the person in charge of overseas dispatch. Now, all that remained was just one appointment letter.

But that obvious piece of paper never ended up on my desk for eight long years.

Every time the personnel appointment season returned, my heart fluttered with anticipation and anxiety. But my name was never on the announced list.

I visited the counselor in the HR department three times, earnestly asking and appealing, "What is lacking?" What else do I need to prepare?

However, the answers that came back were always as vague as walking in a fog. Faced with a reality where skills and rankings were becoming meaningless, I felt an invisible, massive wall.

The rumors circulating at the time further tore at my heart. Faced with the sad truth that background takes precedence over skill, and someone's solicitation takes precedence over qualifications, I, who was number one in the hierarchy, might have been the easiest "scapegoat."

When expectations are deep, even despair is excruciating.

Watching the world I had longed for disappear like a mirage before my eyes, my soul slowly crumbled.

The dark shadow of depression swallowed me, and the bank building, which was once my pride, began to feel like a giant prison.

In the end, I decided to leave the foundation of my youth, to which I had dedicated 18 years, by submitting a letter of resignation.

The tears that flowed down my back on the way out after throwing my resignation letter were not simply the sorrow of losing my job, but rather the grief of an unfair world and the final ritual to comfort my pure passion.

Although I didn't receive the appointment letter for the overseas store I had so longed for, I know now. More precious than my 95 English score, more than my passionate training in Dallas, or more than the honor of receiving the President's commendation was 'my confidence in honestly building my skills without hoping for any luck.'

Even though the organization turned its back on me, I was the number one financier in the hierarchy, never ashamed of myself.

Now, I want to put aside the pain of that time and leave only that fierce passion on the page of memories.

I didn't lose, but just paused briefly to move forward into the wider sea of life.

Go straight rather than overtaking.
Choose steadily.
Without deceiving myself.
I pride myself on having chosen the right path!

Overcoming the terrifying depression.
Having chosen a path similar to investment immigration, I settled in Auckland with my family in April 1990 and am currently living as a retiree!



Posting in the early dawn when dawn has begun in the autumn morning in Auckland.

Deleted nationality/
New Zealand naturalized persons:
Peter Jaekal reparation
Written on May 1, 2026