7월21일(목) 자료

[Max(金昌鎬)]

Mom is independent 

Dear Annie: After my father passed away, my husband and I brought my mother to live with us. We should have known better. Mom always ran things, and now that she lives with us, she still wants to control everything.

Mom doesn't like it when her grandchildren and great-grandchildren come over to visit. These are my children and their families, and I want them to feel comfortable here. One of the grandchildren is coming in from out of state, and Mom has decided to leave while he is here.

Mom has asked me on several occasions if we are happy with her living with us, and I've told her "yes." I thought, since she brought up the subject, that perhaps she was trying to tell me that she was unhappy, but she claims otherwise. She also mentioned that she couldn't afford another place to live, but that isn't so.

I think we may have made a mistake taking her away from her home. Mom is still very independent, and it might be better for her to be around people her own age. No house is large enough for two families, no matter how much love there is. I don't want to hurt my mother, Annie. Please help me decide what to do. The pressure is getting to me. -- Phoenix

Dear Phoenix: If your mother is independent and dislikes being around the grandchildren, she would probably thrive at a retirement home. If it is affordable, there is no reason for you to feel guilty about suggesting it. It would be much worse for your relationship to curdle because your house isn't a good fit for her and resentment builds.

Make an appointment with the retirement homes and assisted-living centers in your area, and let Mom see what activities are offered and what the accommodations would be like. You all might be pleasantly surprised.

Dear Annie: My parents are in their late 70s and have been married for 55 years. The problem is, they bicker over the silliest, most ridiculous and petty things. It has gotten so bad that I don't want to visit. I love my parents, but is this normal? Do I say something, or do I just ignore it because they've earned the right after 55 years of marriage? It is heartbreaking to see them this way. -- Concerned Daughter

Dear Daughter: Your parents are stuck in a long-term pattern of behavior, and although it probably doesn't bother them as much as it does you, it might not be a bad idea to say something. Perhaps if they could see their bickering through your eyes, they would make an effort to tone it down. 2005.07.09

[HERALD INTERVIEW]It's all about the future for S. African envoy 
Amb. Schoeman calls on Korean companies to find opportunities to invest in his country
By Yoav Cerralbo

South Africa's new ambassador has been here for just a week and he's already talking up a storm about how Korean companies, including of course car makers, can find his country an investment bonanza.

Married for 38 years, Stefanus Schoeman, 60, has three children: two sons and one daughter, two of whom are married. He considers himself a keen, but not good, golfer and one of his hobbies is keeping up with international politics, a neat fit with his job.

"I read a lot about international politics, it's a fascinating world we live in. There are areas in the world where the international big players are going to play their strategies," Schoeman said during an interview with The Korea Herald just two days after arriving to Seoul. The areas to which he was referring are Northeast Asia, Russia, and the Middle East

He originally started as a teacher in Johannesburg and then moved on to politics in hopes of affecting change in his country. But the road from politician to diplomat was much different.

Originally a member of the National Party for 15 years, he considers himself extremely fortune to have been appointed by then President F.W. de Klerk as deputy minister of constitution and development.

"We were responsible during the negotiations as the team to negotiate with the ANC (African National Congress). So we negotiated 15 hours a day seven days a week with the people that are now the leaders in government, like President (Thabo) Mbeki and Valli Moosa," he said.

"At that time the government had two sets of negotiations: one with the people at the world trade center, the major group of the ANC and then there were these right wing people of the right wing parties who didn't want change.

"Then the National Party did a very big mistake, we withdrew from the Government of National Unity," he said.

The Government of National Unity was made up of a group of parties that had at least a 5 percent representation in government like the ANC and the IFP (Inkatha Freedom Party).

"Under pressure from certain elements in his party, de Klerk withdrew from the Government of National Unity and I lost interest because I really believed in South Africa. I'm passionately new South African. My children live in South Africa, my grandchildren live in South Africa, and I want them to live there for hundreds of years.

"So, then, when I announced my retirement from politics during the 1990 elections, the then deputy (president) Mbeki came and asked me, why did I retire? 'You have abilities and you're still young.' So I said, if you want to use me, use me.

"One thing you have to remember I was a member of the National Party. I was one of the oppressors in the broad category. I never believed the system of apartheid could have worked. I've always been a strong proponent of change."

Mbeki offered Schoeman - despite his background - a job as high commissioner in Singapore for South Africa. After his contract expired, he was asked to be ambassador to South Korea.

"This says something for President Mbeki. He (Mbeki) often stated, 'The book on the past is now closed.'"

Schoeman, who replaces the popular Sydney Kubheka as ambassador here, speaks English, Afrikaner, a little German and a little Zulu.

Korean will be a new adventure - "I will learn at least one word a day," he said.

As the new envoy to Korea, Schoeman already has some big plans for relations between both countries.

"We see Korea as a very important country in this region, it has developed in just three decades into a very big success story and we can learn a lot but we can also be the hub for Korean companies to invest into South Africa; so it's a win-win situation for our bilateral relations.

"South Africa is a highly developed country, it has a fantastic infrastructure. We have the best mining in the world."

Concerning the future of South Africa and the African continent, he noted President Mbeki and other African leaders have devised a new plan for partnership (New Partnership for Africa Development, NEPAD) with the rest of the world to promote and drum up business in the area.

"We are not looking for handouts, we are looking for partnerships," he said.

Referring to last weekend's summit on aid to Africa, Schoeman said, "Our president is at Gleneagles talking to the G8. They (G8 leaders) are making money available for the development of Africa and those companies with a foothold in African countries, and particular South Africa will be in a position to invest and to trade.

"Millions of people here must still get hand phones and TVs so the next 20 years is Africa's. The new development is going to take place in Africa so Korean companies have a lot to gain," the ambassador said.

Among the industries Schoeman hopes to attract to South African are Korea's car manufacturers. As it stands, BMW, Volkswagen, Mercedes and Toyota manufacture right-hand drive cars for the entire world (except countries that drive on the left side of the road like Britain and Japan).

"I intend (to pursue) with the big companies and the local government the possibility of some of these companies from Hyundai, Kia, and Samsung to produce these products in South Africa," said the ambassador.

"What's happening now, we are exporting the raw materials to Korea, they manufacture these and export them back to South Africa," said Schoeman. "But that's a long way and we need to negotiate with them and make it easy for them because we have an area in the Eastern Cape that the government has made available for companies to manufacture goods."

The future looks bright for South African relations with Korea. "We have a solid foundation here. With the help from my predecessors and the people at the mission; I don't have to start from scratch. There's a very solid foundation, we have very friendly relations, so my job is to deepen and broaden and bring relations to a higher level." (yoav@heraldm.com) 2005.07.13