주69시간제 초고

[송정현]

Too soon to introduce 69 workweek in S.Korea

While most countries around the world are shortening workhours to boost mental health and productivity of workers, South Korea seems to have taken an opposite direction. Recently, South Korea’s labor ministry proposed a reform of the current workweek system, which would increase the maximum weekly work hours to 69 while keeping the average work hours within the 52-hour limit. This proposal immediately drew strong criticism from the public, causing the government to consider revising the proposal. This essay aims to introduce the benefits of this proposed workhour system while also discussing in depth the opposing arguments. Then, it argues, in line with the public sentiments, that the proposed system should be retracted.

First, this system can greatly benefit construction industries. The increased flexibility that this system gives allows workers to legally work extra hours during the peak season of the year when workloads are high which is often case in the construction industries. The current 52-hour workweek system has frequently resulted in difficulties in meeting deadlines as workhours had to be limited to 52 hours regardless of the varying workload. This problem can be resolved with the enhanced flexibility of this system which would allow construction businesses to meet the deadlines in a timelier manner.  

However, while this system is greatly hailed by business circles, it has met with great backlash from workers and labor unions who argue that this proposed system will lead to excessive working hours.  Indeed, South Korea is infamous for its intense working culture as people work hundred hours more on average than others members of OCED member countries. In a country already plagued by a toxic working culture, this proposed system is likely to lead to excessive work hours which can increase the possibility of health hazards such as gwarosa (which means death from work fatigue)

Additionally, many South Korean workers are often unable to take adequate time off from work as they often run into difficulties taking leave. This is due to the cultural climate which tends to disapprove of workers who use up all the holidays given to them. Given this existing cultural climate, if this 69-hour workweek system is introduced,  it is reasonable to project that workers will still not be able to take time off from work despite having worked up to 69 hours prior. Increased workhours would also mean less time workers would have for socializing, dating and marriage, which can further aggravate the country’s low birth rate which is the lowest among the OECD countries.

To conclude, this paper has discussed the potential benefits and disadvantages of the 69-hour workweek system.  While it can greatly introduce flexibility and help industries, especially construction industries, meet deadlines more easily, this system is seen as highly likely to exacerbate the country’s current intense and toxic working culture and low birth rate. Thus, this paper concludes that this proposed system should be reconsidered and only be introduced once the country has established a wholesome work culture in which workers are able to enjoy their holidays and take leaves as freely as they want.

[다현]

문장과 표현 면에서 굉장히 깔끔하고 배울 점이 많았습니다. 논술은 쓰는 사람의 스타일이 많이 반영되어 이 부분에 있어서 피드백을 드리는 것이 크게 의미가 있을지는 모르겠지만 개인적인 의견으로 참고하시라고 말씀 드리겠습니다.

1문단의 intro가 굉장히 자연스럽고 현상의 핵심을 설명했다고 생각했습니다. 그런데 This essayaims~라는 문장 이후 정현님의 주장이 무엇인지가 명확하게 드러나지 않은 것 같습니다. 다각적으로 제도의 pros and cons를 분석해 주신 것은 좋지만 결론적으로 주장이 더 뚜렷하게 드러나면 좋을 것 같습니다. 마지막 문단의 conclusion part에서도 첫문장의 경우 앞의 내용을 정말 general하게 표현한 문장에 그친 것 같다는 생각이 들었습니다. work culture가 바뀌는 것이 선행되어야 한다는 주장이 좀 더 앞에 등장해도 좋을 것 같습니다. 잘 읽었습니다!