PART I // chapter 6-2

[모나리자]

그리고 그는 그녀가 얼마나 악의적이고 불확실한지, 당신이 이자를 하루만 늦게 내면 담보가 없어진다는 것, 그녀가 물건 값의 4분의 1을 주고 한 달에 5%, 심지어 7%를 가져간다는 것 등을 설명하기 시작했습니다. 그 학생은 계속해서 그녀에게 여동생 리자베타가 있는데, 그 불쌍한 작은 생물이 그녀를 계속 때리고, 리자베타가 적어도 6피트나 되는 키에도 불구하고 어린아이처럼 완전히 속박해 둔다고 말했습니다. "당신에게 이런 현상이 있어요." 학생이 소리쳤고 그는 웃었습니다. 그들은 리자베타에 대해 이야기하기 시작했습니다.

그 학생은 그녀에 대해 기이한 기쁨으로 말했고 계속 웃었고 장교는 매우 흥미롭게 듣고 리자베타를 보내서 그를 위해 수리를 해달라고 부탁했습니다. 라스콜니코프는 한 마디도 놓치지 않고 그녀에 대해 모든 것을 알아냈습니다. 리자베타는 늙은 여자보다 어렸고 그녀의 이복 자매였으며 다른 어머니의 아이였습니다. 그녀는 35세였습니다. 그녀는 언니를 위해 낮과 밤을 일했고, 요리와 세탁을 하는 것 외에도 재봉과 세탁부로 일했으며 언니가 번 돈을 모두 주었다.

그녀는 언니의 허락 없이는 어떤 명령이나 일도 감히 받아들이지 않았다. 그 노파는 이미 유언장을 작성했고, 리자베타는 그것을 알고 있었고, 그 유언장에서는 한 푼도 받지 못할 것이다. 가구, 의자 따위 외에는 아무것도 없었다. 모든 돈은 N—— 지방의 수도원에 남겨져 그녀를 위해 영원히 기도를 하도록 했다. 리자베타는 언니보다 지위가 낮았고, 미혼이었고, 몹시 촌스러웠으며, 키가 크고 발이 바깥쪽으로 구부러진 것처럼 길었다.

그녀는 항상 낡은 염소 가죽 신발을 신었고, 몸은 깨끗했다. 학생이 가장 놀랍고 재밌어한 것은 리자베타가 계속 아이를 가졌다는 사실이었다. "하지만 당신은 그녀가 흉측하다고 말합니까?" 장교가 말했다. "그래요, 그녀는 피부가 너무 검고 군인 차림을 한 것 같지만, 전혀 흉측하지 않다는 걸 알잖아요. 그녀는 정말 상냥한 얼굴과 눈을 가지고 있어요. 정말 놀라울 정도로요. 그리고 그 증거는 많은 사람들이 그녀에게 끌린다는 거예요. 그녀는 정말 부드럽고 상냥한 존재예요. 무엇이든 참을 준비가 되어 있고, 항상 기꺼이, 무엇이든 할 의향이 있어요.

그리고 그녀의 미소는 정말 매우 달콤해요." "당신도 그녀가 매력적이라고 ​​생각하는 것 같아요." 장교가 웃었다. "그녀의 괴상함에서요. 아니, 말씀드릴게요. 저는 그 빌어먹을 늙은 여자를 죽이고 그녀의 돈을 훔칠 수 있어요. 양심의 가책 없이요." 학생이 따뜻하게 덧붙였다. 장교가 다시 웃자 라스콜니코프는 몸을 떨었다. 얼마나 이상한 일인가! "들어보세요, 저는 당신에게 진지한 질문을 하고 싶어요." 학생이 격렬하게 말했다. "물론 농담이었지만, 여기 보세요. 한쪽에는 어리석고, 무의미하고, 무가치하고, 악의적이며, 병들고, 끔찍한 늙은 여자가 있는데, 쓸모없는 것이 아니라 실제로 해를 끼치고, 자신이 무엇을 위해 살고 있는지 전혀 모르고, 어쨌든 하루나 이틀 안에 죽을 것입니다. 이해하시죠? 이해하시죠?"

"네, 네, 이해합니다." 장교가 흥분한 동료를 주의 깊게 바라보며 대답했습니다. "자, 들어보세요. 다른 쪽에는 도움이 필요해서 수천 명이 버려지는 싱싱한 젊은 생명들이 있습니다! 그 늙은 여자의 돈으로 수십만 건의 선행을 하고 도움을 줄 수 있습니다. 그 돈은 수도원에 묻힐 것입니다! 수백, 수천 명이 올바른 길로 나아갈 수 있을 것입니다. 수십 가족이 궁핍, 파멸, 악덕, 록 병원에서 구출될 것입니다. 그리고 모두 그녀의 돈으로 말입니다.

그녀를 죽이고, 그녀의 돈을 빼앗아 인류와 모든 사람의 이익에 헌신하세요. 어떻게 생각하세요? 수천 건의 선행으로 사소한 범죄 하나라도 없어지지 않겠습니까? 한 사람의 목숨으로 수천 명이 부패와 쇠퇴로부터 구원받을 수 있습니다. 한 사람의 죽음과 그 대가로 백 명의 목숨이—간단한 산수입니다! 게다가, 그 병들고 멍청하고 성격이 나쁜 노파의 목숨이 존재의 균형에서 무슨 가치가 있겠습니까! 이, 검은 딱정벌레의 목숨보다 더 가치가 없습니다. 사실 노파가 해를 끼치고 있기 때문입니다. 그녀는 다른 사람들의 목숨에 지장을 주고 있습니다. 얼마 전 그녀는 악의로 리자베타의 손가락을 물었습니다. 거의 절단해야 할 뻔했습니다."

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And he began describing how spiteful and uncertain she was, how if you were only a day late with your interest the pledge was lost; how she gave a quarter of the value of an article and took five and even seven percent a month on it and so on. The student chattered on, saying that she had a sister Lizaveta, whom the wretched little creature was continually beating, and kept in complete bondage like a small child, though Lizaveta was at least six feet high. “There’s a phenomenon for you,” cried the student and he laughed. They began talking about Lizaveta.

The student spoke about her with a peculiar relish and was continually laughing and the officer listened with great interest and asked him to send Lizaveta to do some mending for him. Raskolnikov did not miss a word and learned everything about her. Lizaveta was younger than the old woman and was her half-sister, being the child of a different mother. She was thirty-five. She worked day and night for her sister, and besides doing the cooking and the washing, she did sewing and worked as a charwoman and gave her sister all she earned.

She did not dare to accept an order or job of any kind without her sister’s permission. The old woman had already made her will, and Lizaveta knew of it, and by this will she would not get a farthing; nothing but the movables, chairs and so on; all the money was left to a monastery in the province of N——, that prayers might be said for her in perpetuity. Lizaveta was of lower rank than her sister, unmarried and awfully uncouth in appearance, remarkably tall with long feet that looked as if they were bent outwards.

She always wore battered goatskin shoes, and was clean in her person. What the student expressed most surprise and amusement about was the fact that Lizaveta was continually with child. “But you say she is hideous?” observed the officer. “Yes, she is so dark-skinned and looks like a soldier dressed up, but you know she is not at all hideous. She has such a good-natured face and eyes. Strikingly so. And the proof of it is that lots of people are attracted by her. She is such a soft, gentle creature, ready to put up with anything, always willing, willing to do anything.

And her smile is really very sweet.” “You seem to find her attractive yourself,” laughed the officer. “From her queerness. No, I’ll tell you what. I could kill that damned old woman and make off with her money, I assure you, without the faintest conscience-prick,” the student added with warmth. The officer laughed again while Raskolnikov shuddered. How strange it was! “Listen, I want to ask you a serious question,” the student said hotly. “I was joking of course, but look here; on one side we have a stupid, senseless, worthless, spiteful, ailing, horrid old woman, not simply useless but doing actual mischief, who has not an idea what she is living for herself, and who will die in a day or two in any case. You understand? You understand?”

“Yes, yes, I understand,” answered the officer, watching his excited companion attentively. “Well, listen then. On the other side, fresh young lives thrown away for want of help and by thousands, on every side! A hundred thousand good deeds could be done and helped, on that old woman’s money which will be buried in a monastery! Hundreds, thousands perhaps, might be set on the right path; dozens of families saved from destitution, from ruin, from vice, from the Lock hospitals—and all with her money.

Kill her, take her money and with the help of it devote oneself to the service of humanity and the good of all. What do you think, would not one tiny crime be wiped out by thousands of good deeds? For one life thousands would be saved from corruption and decay. One death, and a hundred lives in exchange—it’s simple arithmetic! Besides, what value has the life of that sickly, stupid, ill-natured old woman in the balance of existence! No more than the life of a louse, of a black-beetle, less in fact because the old woman is doing harm. She is wearing out the lives of others; the other day she bit Lizaveta’s finger out of spite; it almost had to be amputated.”