What is practice?
Am I practicing?
What is watching?
What am I watching?
Why am I doing what I'm doing?
I want to be an important person.
I want to be seen.
Aha.
One of my many minds is busy doing, trying, making an effort.
It's being, not doing.
Yoga is this moment.
Why am I doing what I'm doing?
Is it necessary?
Does it open me to the moment or take me out of it?
I had many moments, especially towards the end of this semester where I have been able to see many of the ways the many minds I carry have pulled me this way and that out of the moment.
Who is in?
Who is angry?
Who got hurt by those words that were said?
Who got hurt when things went differently than expected?
Injured pride.
Pride is mind.
Mind is ego.
Yoga is dropping ego.
I followed patterns this semester without realizing I was until they were highlighted by my teachers and I could see more clearly. I was so stuck to the habits that I was blind. Going close to my teachers was a way to illuminate my state.
In the 36th semester I want to develop my skills to see my emotions like an orchestra. I want to grow my bowl. I have said this before without understanding what it meant and that limited my capacity to expand. I want to keep understanding how to grow my capacity. And actualize:
'I am kind to people who are kind to me.'
'I am kind to people who aren't kind to me, too.'