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Part Four - Family and Society
Chapter - 19. Family
2) Filial Piety
2. The Inseparable Bond between Parents and Children
World Scripture
We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the child to his weaning is thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, “O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as You may approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to You and truly do I bow to You in Islam.”
Such are they from whom We shall accept the best of their deeds and pass by their ill deeds: they shall be among the Companions of the Garden: a promise of truth, which was made to them. Paradise, holding the true promise which has been given them. Qur’an 46.15-16
Brethren, one can never repay two persons, I declare. What two? Mother and father. Even if one should carry about his mother on one shoulder and his father on the other, and so doing should live a hundred years; and if he should support them, anointing them with unguents, kneading and rubbing their limbs, and they meanwhile should even void their excrements upon him—even so could he not repay his parents. Moreover, if he should establish his parents in supreme authority, in the absolute rule over this mighty earth abounding in the seven treasures—not even thus could he repay his parents. Why not? Brethren, parents do much for their children; they bring them up, they nourish them, they introduce them to this world.
However, brethren, whoso incites his unbelieving parents, settles and establishes them in the faith; whoso incites his immoral parents, settles and establishes them in morality; whoso incites his stingy parents, settles and establishes them in liberality; whoso incites his foolish parents, settles and establishes them in wisdom—such a one, just by so doing, does repay, does more than repay what is due to his parents. Anguttara Nikaya 1.61 (Buddhism)
One companion asked, “O Apostle of God! Who is the person worthiest of my consideration?” He replied, “Your mother.” He asked again, “And second to my mother?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The companion insisted, “And then?” The Messenger of God said, “After your mother, your father.” Hadith of Bukhari and Muslim (Islam)
Son, why do you quarrel with your father, Due to him you have grown to this age? It is a sin to argue with him. Adi Granth, Sarang, M.4, p. 1200 (Sikhism)
Hearken to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who begets a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad, let her who bore you rejoice. Proverbs 23.22-25
My father, thank you for petting me; My mother, thank you for making me comfortable; Thank you for robing me with wisdom, which is more important than robing me with clothes. Slaves will minister unto you; Servants will be your helpers. Children whom I shall bear will minister unto you. Yoruba Nuptial Chant (African Traditional Religions)
Teachings of Sun Myung Moon
No one can change the relationship between parents and children. It cannot be rationalized away. No amount of force can destroy it; nor can the lure of knowledge, power, and money. The relationship between a child and his or her parents is undeniable; it is destiny. It is inalienable, no matter how much people may try to break it. Since this relationship, which is derived from love, life and lineage, is eternal, it can enable us to unite with God for eternity. (206:235, October 14, 1990)
Parents and children form an inseparable relationship—especially mother and child. Can you argue with that? Although this is a fallen world, nothing can change the love between a mother and her child. Neither education nor political revolution can touch this bond. It is so even in the animal world, in the way of a mother bear loving her cubs. It will continue for billions of years, eternally, never changing. Motherhood is an unchanging principle. The entire universe revolves around motherhood. (143:52, March 15, 1986)
To whom do you belong? You belong to your parents and to your children. Then, to whom do your parents belong? They belong to their children and to God. So, you should first belong to God, then to your parents, then to your children, and finally to yourself. Therefore, can you attain perfection by yourself? You cannot. That is why moral laws and traditional customs the world over instruct us to respect and attend our parents. That is why these teachings remain and guide our lives to this day. Know that this is the reason we should honor and serve our parents and love our children. (18:209-210, June 8, 1967)
Since parents give life to their children, children should be willing to give their lives for their parents. Life came from love. Hence, it is logical that we sacrifice life for love. There is no contradiction here. (137:76, December 18, 1985)
Children should pay back their parents for the love their parents gave them. When food was scarce their parents fed them, even while they went about with empty stomachs. They loved them at such a cost in order to raise children who will do the same for them. Parents, you should first go the path of toilsome work and difficulties. Then, with that as a foundation, your children will also go the path of toilsome work and difficulties that can bring comfort to you. Moreover, because you have been filial to your parents, your children will develop filial piety towards you. And by raising such children, you can bequeath a good lineage to future generations. However, if you live only for yourself and neglect your parents, you cannot expect that your children will be filial towards you.
Who is a filial child? He loves his parents as his parents loved him. A person who lives this way has a foundation to relate with God… The principle of give and take action states that only when a reciprocal base is formed can there be some return. God comes and abides only upon such a foundation. It is a necessary foundation for establishing the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, sons and daughters who can live in the Kingdom of Heaven are those who willingly paid back the debt of their parents’ love. When your parents became old and senile, you should willingly and gladly attend them. You can think about how when you were an infant your parents changed your diapers and wiped you clean. You should not feel anything difficult in doing this; it is natural for a filial child. (35:241-42, October 19, 1970)
Your parents tell you to be filial. Why? They want you to participate in the same path of love that they walked, a path that centers on the parents. Yet there is more: The path of parents’ true love leads to a relationship with the invisible God. Unity with your parents connects you with both realms of heart—invisible as well as visible, vertical history as well as horizontal history. That is why your parents teach you to become a filial child.
Yet today many people question, “Why should I live a life of filial piety?” Especially, people in America think that way. They even wonder, “Did our parents ever think of giving birth to me? Or did they just happen to conceive me while making love?” They do not know this principle. The vertical standard must be set before a horizontal standard can be set. For instance, when we construct a building, we first make sure that the beams are vertically straight and then we align them horizontally. Otherwise, the building will fall down. Therefore, while living in the world, we should connect to the vertical standard. (136:203, December 29, 1985)
Yet these days, children are denying their parents. From that starting point, they go on to flaunt basic human ethics and morality. This negation of morality is a sign that we are living in the Last Days. Unification Church members: do not dance to the rhythm of this present trend. Instead, uphold a firm and true connection with your elders. Parents must establish it, children must establish it, and educators must establish it. (21:121, November 17, 1968)
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