Re: 1C-205-Adam

[sub tutor1]

The title is "Milly, Molly and Nuts and Raisins."

Milly and Molly saw a mice a mouse. One is was brown and black. They bring brought the mice mouse.

There named is Their names were Nut and Raisins. They bring brought an empty egg carton.

And the next day all was well. But in the box 12more little mice there were 12 more little mice.

But again again they bought empty egg carton. Again the mice is 12more. Again and again they bought empty egg cartons, and again there were 12 more mice.

They don't give cheese tonight. Tomorrow the mice is less. They didn’t give cheese that night. The next day there were fewer mice.

The story is interesting.

점수: C+

Tips)

• "mouse"는 한 마리, "mice"는 여러 마리일 때 써.

• 과거이야기니까 "is" 대신 "was", "bring" 대신 "brought"을 써야 해.

• "There named is" → "Their names were"가 맞아.

• 문장을 자꾸 반복하기보다는 "Again and again…"처럼 자연스럽게 연결해줘.

• 마지막에 왜 이야기가 재미있었는지 이유를 한 줄 써주면 더 좋은 글이 돼.