[454] World Scripture - The Love of Grandparents

[대태양/김현수]

Part Four - Family and Society

Chapter - 19. Family

8) The Love of Grandparents

Grandparents Grace A Family With Wisdom, experience, and delightful love for their grandchildren. In traditional cultures where three generations live under one roof, children honor their grandparents and care for them in their infirmity as a part of daily life, learning lessons of love and respect in the process. Grandparents are moral anchors.

There are too many cases where parents are corrupted by drugs or crime and rendered unfit to care for their children; then the grandparents step in to the breach to take over the parenting role. Father Moon decries the loss of the three-generation family in urbanized, industrialized society as contributing to selfishness and a coarsening of morality.

ln many traditions, the honor given parents and grandparents is linked to the honor given the ancestors and the gods in one vertical chain of devotion. In this light, Father Moon speaks of grandparents as representatives of God in the home. Honoring them is a way of honoring God, the greatest Grandparent of all. 

World Scripture

You shall rise up before the hoary head, and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord. Leviticus 19.32

The feeling of grandparents for their grandchildren can be expressed this way: “Our children are dear to us; but when we have grandchildren, they seem to be dearer than our children were.” You might say that the grandmother falls all over herself to try to show her appreciation for her grandchild. It goes right back to those wishes that were made for them when they were little girls: the wish that they would live to become grandmothers someday. So when the time comes and they reach grandmotherhood, they do extra little duties to show their appreciation. Henry Old Coyote (Native American Religion)

Do not neglect the sacrificial works due to the gods and the fathers! Let your mother be to you like unto a god! Let your father be to you like unto a god! Let your teacher be to you like unto a god! Let your guest be to you like unto a god! Taittiriya Upanishad 1.11.2 (Hinduism)

Father and mother
Are gods of the family;
Even so, honor them as gods with
Heartfelt service,
All of you of human birth.
Norinaga Motoori, One Hundred Poems
on the Jeweled Spear (Shinto)

O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if his mind fails, be considerate with him; in all your strength do not despise him. For a kindness to a father will not be forgotten, and against your sins it will be credited to you. Ecclesiasticus 3.12-14 (Christianity)

My father sent for me; I saw he was dying. I buried him in that beautiful valley of winding waters. I love that land more than all the rest of the world. A man who would not love his father’s grave is worse than a wild animal. Nez Perce Tradition (Native American Religions)

Teachings of Sun Myung Moon

As children, you are destined to inherit the fortune of your grandparents and parents. Why do you need grandparents? They represent the past—they embody the living history of the past. Parents represent the present age and children represent the future. Thus, the family connects the past, present and future, as well as East, West, North and South. Grandparents, parents, children and God—the center of them all is true love. Think about whether it is this way in your family. By loving and respecting your grandfather and grandmother, you inherit everything from the past and learn from the past. From your father and mother you learn about the present. By loving and cherishing your children, you learn about the future… The three-generation family is like the entire universe. It is like a textbook to learn how to love the universe. Hence, if there isn’t a grandmother or a grandfather in your family, you may feel insecure. (162:140, April 5, 1987)

[In a traditional family] the grandfather and grandmother, the bride’s mother-in-law, father-inlaw, and sister-in-law, and the grandchildren should all live together. What is the center? God. Centering on God, three generations are settled—formation, growth and completion. Hence, children need to know how to love not just their father and mother, but also their grandfather and grandmother. They should honor their grandfather and grandmother with a higher status than their father and mother. Loving them is the way for the children to love God. (128:18, May 29, 1983)

Grandparents represent God in heaven; their position is like Heaven. As the elders in the family, our grandparents bring Heaven to us. That is why you need to attend them as the representatives of God. Think of them as representatives of the King of Heaven and serve them as you would serve God. This teaching is one of the traditions of the ideal family. (251:219, October 17, 1993)

If the husband and wife fight, the grandfather and grandmother will say, “Now, now. Don’t do that!” When the children fight or the grandchildren fight, they say, “Now, now. Don’t do that!” In this way, with love, they play the role of a servant. They live for the sake of the other members of the family, telling each of them, “You are in a high position. You are wonderful.” Grandparents play the role of the servant of love to the greatest extent… The greatest, most amazing and most powerful person in the universe is the person who walks the way of the servant of love. (135:121-22, October 4, 1985)

It is wonderful when a daughter-in-law loves her grandmother and grandfather so much that she always buys better things for them than for her husband. She may be good-looking, and the old grandfather and grandmother may be all wrinkled, yet whenever she goes shopping she looks to buy something for them, something finer than what she buys for her husband, and she does it with a more joyful heart. What a wonderful scene! If she does that, then the grandfather and grandmother will give her everything they had hidden away—everything having to do with love. Who is the oldest being in the world? It is God. Therefore, you learn from loving your grandfather how to love God and live for His sake. When you learn this tradition, you can receive all the treasures of love stored in Grandfather God’s secret warehouse. It is wonderful! (107:329, June 8, 1980)

It is true that many grandchildren and daughters-in-law hate to see the cane their grandfather carries about. Perhaps they wish the grandfather an early death? Rather, good grandchildren and daughters-in-law who have loving hearts would think, “Oh God, when the cane disappears someday, I will be drenched in tears.” (184:270, January 1, 1989)

If the people of a nation hold the elderly in contempt, eventually that nation will lose its national character. A person who doesn’t like old people is selling out the character and tradition of his nation. (21:120, November 17, 1968)