# 牧牛堂主 一代記(목우당주 일대기)(47) The biography of Mokwoodangju

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목우당주의 고삼시절 모습

1972년(壬子,임자)도 後半期(후반기)의 짧은 기간은 내게 가장 마음 便安(편안)해 했던 時節(시절)이었다.

부모님께서도 내가 길을 찾은 일에 크게 반기며 安心(안심) 하게 되었었다.

허니 마음의 餘裕(여유)가 생긴 것이다. 險難(험난)한 깊은 山中(산중)에서 길을 찾은 기분이었다.

緊張(긴장)이 풀리면 없던 氣運(기운)이 發動(발동)하기 마련이다.

헌데 絶交(절교)를 宣言(선언)했던 女人(여인)의 片紙(편지)가 왔다.

나를 많이 생각하고 있었던 것이다. 하여 答(답)을 했더니 전과 같이 書札(서찰)이 오가게 되다.

고3 시절의 寫眞貌習(사진모습)에서 보듯이 緊張(긴장)했던 내가 밝아진 얼굴이 되었고

동네에서도 더욱 羨望(선망)의 대상으로 刻印(각인)되었다. 아랫집 처자가 더욱 그러했다.

삼사관학교에 入校(입교)하는 전날

나는 두 번째(첫 번째는 중학교 졸업후 向京(향경)할 때)로 故鄕(고향)집을 離別(이별)하고

牙山(아산)의 溫陽 溫泉 宿所(온양 온천 숙소)에서 마지막 하룻밤에 여유있는 시간을 갖게 되다.

헌데 아랫집 처자를 만나서 시간을 보내게 되었다.

많은 이야기로 시간을 보냈었던 젊음의 追憶(추억)이다.

이미 못된 雜人(잡인:처자의 말)에게

强制醜行 事緣(강제추행사연)을 토로하며 내게 接近(접근)할 처지가 아니라 말한다.

그날 거의 날 밤을 지새고는 아침 일찍이 宿所(숙소)를 나와서 대구의 永川(영천)으로 발길을 돌리다.

그날 밤 책임 질 行實(행실)은 하지 않았으나

마음은 몹씨 心亂(심난) 하게된 一泊(일박)이었다는 기억이다.

삼사관학교의 正門(정문)을 通過(통과)하여 들어감에 사회인이 아님을 實感(실감)하게 되다.

合格證書(합격증서)를 通(통)하여 일반인이 통과 할 수 없는 문을 무사히 들어선 것이다.

첫 번째로 案內(안내) 된 곳은 理髮所(이발소)이다.

長髮(장발)이 流行(유행)하던 때라 대개의 긴 머리카락을 아주 짧게 깎아준다.

여러 사람의 이발로 하여 이발소 바닥은 이미 검은 머리카락으로 쌓여 푹신푹신 하였다.

그리고 沐浴(목욕)하라 하여 들어간 넓은 샤워장 샤워꼭지에서는 찬물이 쏴아~ 쏟아졌다.

12월 말 겨울이었으니 찬물샤워는 精神(정신)을 번쩍 들게 하는 첫 訓練(훈련)의 시작임을 느끼게 하였다.

몸에 맞지 않는 軍服(군복)으로 갈아입고서 집에서 입고 왔던 옷이나

기타 持參物(지참물)들은 모두 종이박스에 담아 包裝(포장)하여 고향집으로 送付(송부)케 하였다.

군복을 입고 첫 一泊(일박)한 장소는 舊 幕舍(구 막사)로 兩側(양측)의 침상이 2층인 내무반이었다.

40명은 족히 수용 될 공간이다.

나는 문의 입구로부터 右側(우측)의 아랫층으로 出入(출입)이 편리한 내무반이었다.

다음날 부터 아침 여섯시에 起床(기상)하여 驅步(구보)를 하였다.

그렇게 정신없는 訓練 日課(훈련 일과)로 힘들게 1주일을 보냈다.

헌데 1주일이 지나자 집에 갈 사람을 呼出(호출)한다.

假入校 期間(가입교 기간)이었던 것이다. 여러사람이 歸家措置(귀가조치) 되었다.

自進(자진)해서 집에 갈 사람을 가려낸 것이다.

고되게 훈련시켜 놓고서 생도생활에 견뎌낼 만한 사람만 추려낸 것이다.

사관생도가 되는 과정은 여러단계를 통과 해야만 했다.

가입교 기간의 마지막 순서로 다시 체력검사와 소양시험을 치렀다.

수학문제도 客觀式(객관식)이었던 전 시험과는 달리 완전히 主觀式 問題(주관식 문제)만 나왔다.

마지막 테스트가 끝난 다음날 아침 구 막사 兩便 上下(양편 상하)의 침실이 성성하게 비어 있음을 보게 되다.

성적미달의 落第者(낙제자)들은 지난 밤에 歸家措置(귀가조치) 되었다는 것이다.

첫 번째 歸家措置(귀가조치)는 自進(자진)해서 진행되었으나

두 번째의 귀가조치는 强制的(강제적)이었던 것이다

. 귀가조치도 陰陽(음양)인가 !

애초 사관후보생 인원 1,000명 모집 기준에 10,000여명이 응시하여

1차로 1,400여명을 합격시켜 놓고 1차, 2차로 귀가 조치시키니 400여명이 떨어진 것이다.

正式 士官生徒(정식 사관생도)로서 校番(교번)을 받게 되다. 나는 11209번이었다.

1대대 3중대에 소속되다. 내무반은 2층 침대가 있었고 비교적 깨끗했다.

다 말할 수 있는 내용이 아니므로 세세한 사항은 생략한다.

휴일 날인데도 휴식시간을 거의 내주지 않았다.

훈련이 힘든데다가 한가한 시간이 부여되면 고향생각이 절로 날 것이기 때문인 것을 생각하게 되다.

물론 편지 쓸 시간은 있었다.

6개월 만인가? 정확한 기억은 아니지만 첫 放學(방학)을 맞았다.

軍人身分(군인신분)이면서도 學生(학생)신분이기도 하였으므로 휴가라 하지 않고 방학이라 하였다.

생도의 자세는 언제나 바르게 취해야 한다 라고 교육받았기로

列車(열차)를 타거나 버스를 타거나 허리를 곧게 펴고

可能(가능)한 限(한) 의자에 등을 기대지도 않은채 눈동자도 한 곳으로 應視(응시)하며

생도답게 행실하던 귀가 길이 일반인들 눈에는 특별했을 것이라는 생각이 든다.

버스를 탔는데 옆자리에 미지의 젊은 여성이 앉는다.

결국 그녀의 청으로 주소성명을 알게 되고 생도시절에 2명과의 편지를 주고받게 되다.

생도복장의 내 모습이 자기도 모르게 내 옆자리로 座定(좌정)했던 것이 아닌가 싶다.

방학때 집에 간다는 나의 편지에 과수원 동갑내기 여성의 제안이 있었다.

天安驛(천안역)에서 기다리겠다 는 內容(내용)이었다.

그러나 豫定(예정)한 시간이 맞지 않아서 제 시간에 도착하지 못했고

直接 織場(직접 직장)으로 찾아가 相面(상면)하여 예정시간을 맞추지 못한 事情(사정)을 말하게 되다.

첫 만남이었다.

그 때는 휴대하는 전화기가 없으니 연락방법이 편지밖에 없었다.

허니 한번 어긋나면 다시 약속을 잡을 수가 없었던 것이다

초록색 투피스 옷을 端正(단정)히 입고 出勤(출근)한

그녀를 退勤 時間(퇴근 시간)에 맞추어 相面(상면)하게 되었다.

두 번째의 他地 女性(타지 여성)을 對面(대면)한 것이다.

邑內(읍내)에 함께 나가서 저녁식사 接待(접대)까지 잘 받았다.

그리고 茶房(다방 : 그 때는 까페가 아니고 다방이 있었음)에 들러 대화를 나누다.

그녀는 어디로 가는 길이냐? 물었고 고향집으로 가는 길이라고 답하니

이미 내가 살던 住所(주소)를 알고 있었던터 이었는데

잠깐 나갔다 오겠다 하고는 다녀와서 고향으로 가는

여러편의 列車時間(열차시간)을 正確(정확)히 외워가지고 왔고 길 안내를 자상하게 해주는 것이었다.

致密(치밀)한 配慮心(배려심)이라 여기게 되다.

찻집 또한 열차역 近處(근처)이었으니 이 역시 計算(계산) 된 場所(장소)이었던 것이다.

영어(English)

The short period in the latter half of 1972 (Imja) was the most comfortable time for me. My parents were also very happy that I had found my way and felt at ease. I felt more relaxed. It felt like I had found my way in the deep, dangerous mountains. When the tension is released, energy that was not there before is bound to start to flow. Then, a letter from the woman who had declared that we were breaking up arrived. She had been thinking a lot about me. So I answered, and letters were exchanged as before. As you can see in the photo of me in my third year of high school, my tense face brightened and I became even more envied in the neighborhood. The wife living downstairs was even more so. The day before I entered the military academy, I left my hometown for the second time (the first time was when I went to the capital after graduating from middle school) and had one last free night at the Onyang Hot Springs Inn in Asan. But I met the wife living downstairs and spent time with them. It is a memory of my youth, when I spent a lot of time talking. He confessed to the bad guy (the wife's words) about the forced sexual assault incident and said that he was not in a position to approach me. After spending most of the night that day, he left the lodging early in the morning and headed to Yeongcheon in Daegu. I remember that it was a night where I was very upset, although I did not act responsibly that night. When I passed through the main gate of the Samsa Academy, I realized that I was not a member of society. I safely entered the gate that ordinary people could not pass through by passing through the certificate of passing. First, The place we were guided to was a barber shop. Since long hair was in vogue at the time, most long hair was cut very short. The floor of the barber shop was already covered with black hair from the many people who had their hair cut. Then, when we were told to take a bath, cold water poured out from the shower head in the large shower room. It was winter at the end of December, so the cold shower made us feel like it was the beginning of the first training that would refresh our spirits. After changing into the ill-fitting military uniform, we packed all the clothes we had worn at home and other belongings in a paper box and sent them to our hometown. It was our first time wearing the uniform. The place where I stayed for one night was the old barracks, a two-story barracks with bunks on both sides. It was enough space for 40 people. I was in the barracks, which was conveniently located on the lower floor on the right side of the entrance. The next day, I got up at six in the morning and started walking. I spent a week struggling with such a hectic training routine. However, after a week, they called to see who would go home. It was the temporary enrollment period. Many people were ordered to go home. They selected who would go home voluntarily. It is. They trained hard and selected only those who could endure the life of a cadet. The process of becoming a cadet required passing several stages. As the last step of the entrance exam period, I took a physical examination and an aptitude test again. Unlike the previous test, which was multiple choice, the math problems were completely subjective. The morning after the final test, I saw that the bedrooms on both sides of the old barracks were completely empty. Those who failed the test due to poor grades were sent home the previous night. The first time was voluntary, but the second time was forced. The sent home was also Yin and Yang! Originally, about 10,000 people applied for the 1,000-person officer candidate recruitment standard, and about 1,400 passed the first round. Then, after sending them home in the first and second rounds, about 400 people failed. I received my school number as a regular officer cadet. I was number 11209. I was assigned to the 3rd Company of the 1st Battalion. The barracks had bunk beds and were relatively clean. I can't say everything, so I'll skip the details. Even though it was a holiday, I barely had any rest time. I think it was because the training was hard and if I had free time, I would naturally miss my hometown. Of course, I had time to write letters. Was it 6 months? I don't remember exactly, but it was my first vacation. Since he was a soldier but also a student, it was not called a vacation but a break. I was taught that a cadet should always have the right posture, so whether I rode a train or a bus, I straightened my back, did not lean back on my seat as much as possible, and looked at one place with my eyes fixed on it, behaving like a cadet. I think that Gu-ga-gil must have seemed special to the general public. I got on the bus and a young woman I didn’t know sat next to me. Eventually, I learned her name and address through her request, and we exchanged letters with two people during my cadet days. I wonder if my appearance in my cadet uniform made me sit next to her without realizing it. In my letter saying that I was going home during the break, there was a suggestion from a woman of the same age as me from the orchard. I will wait for you at Cheonan Station. was the content. However, because the scheduled time did not match, I could not arrive on time and went to the workplace directly to meet her and explain the circumstances of not being able to meet the scheduled time. It was our first meeting. At that time, I did not have a mobile phone, so the only way to contact her was by letter. Honey, if we missed one meeting, we could not make another appointment. I met her right after she left work, wearing a neat green two-piece suit, during her off-hours. This was my second time meeting a woman from another place. We went out to the town together and had dinner together. I got it. And we stopped by a tea house (at that time it was a tea house, not a cafe) to chat. She asked me where I was going and when I told her I was going to my hometown, she already knew my address, so she said she would go out for a bit and came back with the exact train times for several trains to her hometown and gave me detailed directions. I thought it was very considerate. The tea house was also near the train station, so this too was a calculated location.

일본어

1972年（壬子、任者）も後半期（後半期）の短い期間は、私にとって最も心便安でした時節（時代）だった。両親も私が道を訪れたことに大きく喜んで安心（安心）するようになった。ハニー心の餘裕ができたのだ。 險難（険難）した深い山中（山中）で道を訪れた気分だった。 緊張（緊張）が解ければなかった气運（オーラ）が發動（発動）する。 ただ、絶交を宣言した女人の片紙（手紙）がやってきた。私をたくさん考えていたのだ。して答えをしたら、前と同じように書札（書札）が行き来することになる。 高3時代の寫眞貌習（写真の様子）に見られるように緊張していた私が明るくなった顔になり、近所でもさらに羨望（羨望）の対象として刻印（刻印）された。下の家の弟子がさらにそうした。 三士官学校に入校（入校）する前日、私は2回目（最初は中学校卒業後、向京（郷京）するとき）に故鄕（故郷）の家を離別（別れ）し、牙山（アサン）の溫陽溫泉宿所（温陽温泉宿）で最後に行った。ただ、下の家の妻に会って時間を過ごすことになった。多くの話で時間を過ごした若さの追記憶（思い出）だ。既にできなかった雜人に、强制醜行事緣（（強制推行事演）を吐露し、私に接近するような立場ではないと言う。行實（行室）はしなかったが、心はモクさん心亂（深刻）になった一泊（一泊）だったという記憶だ。 三士官学校の正門（正門）を通過（通過）して入ることに社会人ではないことを實感（実感）することになる。 合格證書（合格証書）を通し、一般人が通過できない扉を無事に入れたのだ。 最初に案內（案内）されたのは理髮所（理髪店）だ。 長髮（長髪）が流行（流行）していた時で、通常の長い髪を非常に短く削ってくれる。いくつかの人の理髪店として、理髪店の床はすでに黒い髪に積み重ねてふわふわした。そして、沐浴（入浴）し、入った広いシャワーシャワーの蛇口では、冷たい水が湧いて〜注がれた。 12月末冬だったので、冷たい水のシャワーは精神を点滅させる最初の訓練の始まりであることを感じさせた。 体に合わない軍服（軍服）に着替えて家で着てきた服やその他持參物（持参物）はすべて紙箱に入れて包裝（包装）し、故郷の家に送付（送付）した。軍服を着て最初の一泊した場所は舊幕舍（旧幕舎）で兩側（両側）の寝床が２階の内務班だった。 40人は十分に収容される空間である。私はお問い合わせ入口から右側（右側）の下階に出入（出入）が便利な内務盤だった。 翌日から朝６時に起床（気象）して驅步（久保）をした。そんな精神のない訓練日課（訓練日課）で大変１週間を過ごした。ただ1週間が過ぎると家に行く人を呼出(呼出)する。 假入校期間（加入校期間）だったのだ。複数の人が歸家措置（帰宅措置）になった。 自進して自宅に行く人を選んだのだ。とても訓練させておいて生徒生活に耐えられるだけの人だけ選んだのだ。 士官生徒になる過程は様々な段階を通過しなければならなかった。加入校期間の最後の順序で再び体力検査と素養試験を行った。数学問題も客觀式（客観式）だった前試験とは異なり、完全に主觀式問題（主観式問題）だけが出た。最後のテストが終わった翌日の朝、旧幕舎兩便上下（両編上下）の寝室が性的に空いていることが分かる。成績未達の落第者（落制者）たちは昨夜に歸家措置（帰宅措置）になったということだ。 最初の歸家措置(帰宅措置)は自進(自進)して進行されたが、2番目の帰宅措置は强制的(強制的)だったのである。帰宅措置も陰陽（陰陽）か！そもそも士官候補生人員1,000人募集基準に10,000人余りが受験し、1次で1400人余りを合格させておき、1次、2次目に帰宅措置させたところ400人余りが落ちたのだ。 正式士官生徒（正式士官生徒）として、学校番（交番）を受けることになる。私は11209番だった。 1大隊3中隊に所属する。四分の一は二階ベッドがあり、比較的きれいだった。全て言える内容ではないので細かい事項は省略する。休日の日でも休憩時間をほとんど出さなかった。訓練が難しいうえに、ゆったりとした時間が与えられれば、故郷の考えが寺に飛ぶだろうからだと考えるようになる。もちろん手紙を書く時間はあった。 6ヶ月だけですか？正確な記憶ではないが、最初の放學（休暇）を迎えた。 軍人身分（軍人身分）でありながら、學生（学生）身分でもあったので、休暇とせずに休暇とした。 生徒の姿勢はいつも正しく取らなければならないと教育を受けたので、列車に乗ったり、バスに乗ったり、腰をまっすぐに伸ばして可能な限りの椅子に背中を期待せずに瞳も一箇所に應視（見つめ）したり、普通に行ったりした。バスに乗るのに隣に未知の若い女性が座る。結局、彼女の庁で住所声明を知り、生徒の頃に2人との手紙をやりとりすることになる。生徒服の私の姿が自分も知らないうちに隣席で座定したのではないかと思う。 休暇の時に家に帰るという私の手紙に果樹園の同い年の女性の提案があった。 天安驛（天安駅）で待つという內容（内容）だった。しかし、豫定（予定）した時間が合わず、時間内に到着できず、直接織場（直接職場）に訪れて相面（上面）して、予定時間を合わせることができなかった事情（事情）を言うことになる。初めての出会いだった。その時は携帯する電話機がないので連絡方法が手紙しかなかった。ハニー一度ずれたらまた約束を取ることができなかったのだ 緑色のツーピース服を端正に着て出勤した彼女を退勤時間（退勤時間）に合わせて相面になった。二番目の他地女性（タージ女性）を対面（対面）したのだ。 邑內（邑内）に一緒に出て夕食の接待（接待）までよく受けた。そして茶房（喫茶店：その時はカフェではなく喫茶店があった）に立ち寄って会話を交わす。彼女はどこに行く道ですか？尋ねて故郷の家に行く道だと答えたら、すでに私が住んでいた住所（住所）を知っていたところだったのに、しばらく出てきたとは行って来て、故郷へ行くいろいろな列車時間（列車時間）を正確に（正確に）覚えてくれてきた。 치밀(치밀)한 배려심(配慮心)と思うようになる。茶屋も列車駅近處（近所）だったので、このやはり計算（計算）された場所（場所）だったのだ。

[출처] # 牧牛堂主 一代記(목우당주 일대기)(47) The biography of Mokwoodangju|작성자 해인1691 HAE IN 1691