Re:***5월 첫번째 과제***

[박진흠]

  There are varied views on how people will change the time for preparing food in close future. Some might say they will not take much time cooking owing to the enhancement of cooking machines; however, others might hold their own opinion against it. In line with this, I accede to the statement that people will spend more time cooking regarding two aspects: enough time and deliciousness.

이번 서론은 어떤지 말씀해 주세요.. 별 생각 없이 편하기 쓰기는 했는데요...

  To begin with, because home-based working is ever developing, people do not have to spend much time for business and have sufficient time for their private activity such as having meals. Though it is probable that many people cast doubt to my opinion, I concretely believe that home-based working will allow more modern people to cope with their tasks faster. As a matter of fact, when there was no concept of home-based working, people had to directly go to work for business. In contradiction, given the technology of computers, modern people are now available to cope with business tasks at their home. Also, using the time saved by home-based working, people are able to cook meals at home for enough time. This case definitely shows that more people will cook meals with much time in the future.

  In addition, people tend to eat food that tastes good, and it is widely known that food which is prepared for a long time is by and large more delicous than instant food. Some people might say new techonology for cooking will promise the flavor of instant food; however, it is not necessarily true to me. According to one survey conducted worldwidely, answerers preferred food that wass cooked slowly better than instant food when they were asked to choose one from two seemingly similar food. In addition, the selling amount of slow cookeres increased in significant rates in recent five years. These cases clearly shows the favor for nicer food resulted in more time for cooking.

  To summarize up the points made above, because people will get more private time and try to get more charming food, they will use a long time for their meals. The clear point is that either long time or short time, they will select the way that is more beneficial for their life.

[박진흠]

늦어서 죄송합니다..
37분 걸렸고요..
서론, 셋째, 마지막은 비교적 부담감적게 썼는데
두번째 문단에서 많이 시간을 빼앗겼네요..
제가 보아도 두번째 문단이 썩 좋지는 않네요^^
물론 다른 곳에도 문제가 많이 있겠지만요..