Chapter 4 (Part 2)

[모나리자]

더 높은 곳으로 올라가다. 산의 본성. 마지막 시간까지 회개를 미룬 태만한 자. 벨라콰. 기쁨이나 고통으로 우리의 어떤 능력을 빼앗아가더라도, 전적으로 영혼이 스스로를 모으는 데만, 다른 힘은 주의하지 않는 듯하다. 그리고 한 영혼이 다른 영혼보다 뛰어나다고 생각하는 오류에 대항하여 우리 안에 불을 붙인다.

따라서 영혼을 집중적으로 붙잡고 있는 무언가를 듣거나 볼 때마다 시간은 흐르고 우리는 그것을 인식하지 못한다. 한 능력은 듣는 능력이고 다른 능력은 영혼이 온전히 간직하기 때문이다. 이것은 마치 속박된 것과 같고, 그것은 자유롭다. 나는 그 영을 듣고 바라보면서 이것을 확실히 경험했다.

태양이 50도 높이 떠올랐지만, 나는 그것을 인식하지 못했고, 그 영혼들이 한마음으로 우리에게 "당신이 요구하는 것이 여기 있습니다."라고 외치는 곳에 이르렀다. 더 큰 개방은 종종 그의 가시의 작은 갈래로 울타리를 친다 마을 사람은 포도가 갈색으로 변할 때, 그가 올라간 통로보다 더 넓었다. 오직 나의 지도자와 나만이 그 뒤를 따랐다. 그 일행이 우리를 떠난 후.

한 사람은 산레오를 오르고 놀리로 내려간다. 그리고 비스만토바의 정상에 오른다. 발만으로; 하지만 여기서는 날아야 한다. 나는 빠른 날개와 깃털로 큰 열망을 말하는데, 나에게 희망을 주고 나를 위해 빛을 만들어 준 그를 따라간다. 우리는 균열이 난 바위를 통해 위로 올라갔다. 그리고 양쪽에서 경계가 우리를 압박했다.

그리고 발과 손은 아래의 땅을 요구했다. 우리가 열린 경사지에서 높은 둑의 위쪽 가장자리에 다다랐을 때, "나의 주인님," 내가 말했다. "어떤 길로 가야 합니까?" 그리고 그는 나에게 말했다. "내려가는 발걸음은 없어. 여전히 내 뒤에 있는 산 위로 올라가라. 어떤 현명한 호위자가 우리에게 나타날 때까지." 정상은 너무 높아서 시야가 가려졌고, 언덕은 중앙 사분면에서 중앙으로 이어지는 선보다 훨씬 더 가파릅니다. 피곤에 지쳐 있을 때, 나는 시작했습니다.

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"오 나의 사랑하는 아버지! 돌아서서 보시오, 당신이 머물지 않으면 내가 얼마나 홀로 있는지!" "아들아," 그가 말했습니다. "저기서 몸을 끌고 올라가라." 그는 나에게 약간 더 높은 테라스를 가리켰습니다. 그 쪽은 언덕 전체를 둘러싸고 있습니다. 그의 이 말은 나를 너무 자극하여, 나는 그의 뒤를 따라 올라가면서 모든 신경을 긴장시켰습니다. 원이 내 발 아래에 있을 때까지.

우리 둘은 그 위에 앉았습니다. 우리가 올라온 동쪽으로 돌아갔습니다. 모든 사람이 뒤돌아보는 것을 좋아하기 때문입니다. 내 눈은 먼저 낮은 해안으로 향했고, 그런 다음 태양으로 눈을 들어 왼쪽에서 태양에 매료되었습니다. 시인은 내가 빛의 전차에 완전히 어리둥절해 있다는 것을 잘 알고 있었습니다. 그것은 우리와 아퀼론 사이로 들어왔습니다.

그는 나에게 이렇게 말했습니다. "카스토르와 폴룩스가 저 거울과 함께 있다면, 그 거울이 위아래로 빛을 비추면, 당신은 황도대의 톱니바퀴가 곰자리에 더욱 가까이 회전하는 것을 볼 수 있을 것입니다. 만약 그것이 오래된 궤도에서 벗어나지 않는다면 말입니다.

당신이 생각할 수 있는 힘이 있다면, 당신 자신 안에 주의를 기울여, 시온과 이 산이 함께 지상에 서 있는 것을 상상해 보세요. 그래서 둘 다 하나의 지평선을 가지고 있고, 반구는 서로 다릅니다. 그래서 파에톤이 운전하는 법을 알지 못했던 길을 당신은 한쪽으로, 다른 쪽으로 반드시 지나가야 한다는 것을 알게 될 것입니다. 당신의 지성이 올바르게 명확하게 주의를 기울인다면 말입니다."

"진실로, 나의 스승님," 내가 말했다, "지금처럼 분명히 본 적은 없습니다. 제 재치가 무능해 보였던 곳에서, 어떤 예술에서는 적도라고 불리는 천상의 운동의 중간원이 태양과 겨울 사이에 머물러 있습니다. 당신이 말씀하신 이유는, 히브리인들이 열의 영역으로 보았던 때인 칠십인역을 향해서 여기에서 출발하기 때문입니다. 하지만, 당신이 기뻐하신다면, 우리가 얼마나 가야 하는지 알고 싶습니다. 언덕이 제 눈이 올라갈 수 있는 힘보다 더 높이 솟아 있기 때문입니다."

그리고 그는 나에게 말했다: "이 산은 처음부터 아래로 내려가는 것이 지루하고, 더 많이 올라갈수록 덜 아프다. 그러므로 당신에게 그렇게 즐겁게 보일 때, 올라가는 것이 배를 타고 해류를 따라 내려가는 것만큼 당신에게 쉬울 것이다.

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그러면 이 길의 끝에 네가 있을 것이다. 거기서 헐떡이는 숨을 쉬며 휴식을 취할 수 있을 것이다. 나는 더 이상 대답하지 않을 것이다. 그리고 이것은 내가 진실로 알고 있습니다." 그리고 그가 이 말을 마치자, 우리 가까이에서 목소리가 들렸습니다. "어쩌면 그 전에 앉을 필요가 있을지도 모릅니다."

그 소리가 나자 우리 각자는 돌아섰고, 왼쪽에 큰 바위가 보였습니다. 나도 그도 전에는 알아차리지 못했습니다. 우리는 그곳으로 갔습니다. 거기에는 바위 뒤의 그늘에 서 있는 사람들이 있었습니다. 게으름 때문에 서 있는 사람처럼. 그리고 그들 중 한 명은 나에게 지쳐 보였지만, 앉아서 두 무릎을 껴안고 얼굴을 숙이고 있었습니다.

"오 나의 사랑하는 주님," 내가 말했습니다. "자신을 더 게으르게 보이는 사람에게 눈을 돌려주십시오. 그의 자매인 게으름뱅이보다." 그러자 그는 우리를 돌아보며 주의를 기울였습니다. 그는 허벅지 위로 눈을 들어올리며 말했습니다. "이제 올라가십시오. 당신은 용감하니까요."

그때 나는 그가 누구인지 알았습니다. 그리고 고통, 내 호흡이 조금 더 빨라졌고, 그에게 가는 것이 방해받지 않았고, 내가 그에게 다가간 후 그는 간신히 고개를 들고 말했습니다. "당신의 왼쪽 어깨 위로 태양이 전차를 몰고 가는 것을 똑똑히 보았는가?"

그의 느린 태도와 그의 퉁명스러운 말은 내 입술을 약간 웃게 했습니다. 그러자 나는 시작했습니다. "벨라콰, 나는 이제 당신을 위해 슬퍼하지 않습니다. 하지만 말해 보세요, 왜 이곳에 앉아 있습니까? 당신은 호위대입니까? 아니면 평소의 습관이 당신을 사로잡았습니까?"

그리고 그는 말했습니다. "오 형제여, 올라가는 데 무슨 소용이 있습니까? 내가 고통스러워서 문에 앉아 있는 신의 천사가 나를 놓아주지 않으니까요. 첫째, 하늘은 내 인생에서 그랬던 것처럼 오랫동안 나를 돌게 해야 합니다. 좋은 한숨을 끝까지 미루었기 때문입니다. 그렇지 않으면 은혜 속에 사는 마음에서 우러나오는 어떤 기도가 나에게 도움을 가져다주지 않을 것입니다. 하늘에서 들리지 않는 다른 사람들에게 무슨 이익이 있습니까?"

그 사이에 시인이 내 앞에 나타나서 말했다. "이제 와서 보라. 태양이 메리디안을 비추고 있고, 해안선에서 밤이 이미 모로코를 발로 덮고 있다."

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Chapter 4  

Farther Ascent. Nature of the Mountain. The Negligent, who postponed Repentance till the last Hour. Belacqua. Whenever by delight or else by pain, That seizes any faculty of ours, Wholly to that the soul collects itself, It seemeth that no other power it heeds; And this against that error is which thinks One soul above another kindles in us.

And hence, whenever aught is heard or seen Which keeps the soul intently bent upon it, Time passes on, and we perceive it not, Because one faculty is that which listens, And other that which the soul keeps entire; This is as if in bonds, and that is free. Of this I had experience positive In hearing and in gazing at that spirit;

For fifty full degrees uprisen was The sun, and I had not perceived it, when We came to where those souls with one accord Cried out unto us: "Here is what you ask." A greater opening ofttimes hedges up With but a little forkful of his thorns The villager, what time the grape imbrowns, Than was the passage-way through which ascended Only my Leader and myself behind him, After that company departed from us.

One climbs Sanleo and descends in Noli, And mounts the summit of Bismantova, With feet alone; but here one needs must fly; With the swift pinions and the plumes I say Of great desire, conducted after him Who gave me hope, and made a light for me. We mounted upward through the rifted rock, And on each side the border pressed upon us,

And feet and hands the ground beneath required. When we were come upon the upper rim Of the high bank, out on the open slope, "My Master," said I, "what way shall we take?" And he to me: "No step of thine descend; Still up the mount behind me win thy way, Till some sage escort shall appear to us." The summit was so high it vanquished sight, And the hillside precipitous far more Than line from middle quadrant to the centre. Spent with fatigue was I, when I began:

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"O my sweet Father! turn thee and behold How I remain alone, unless thou stay!" "O son," he said, "up yonder drag thyself," Pointing me to a terrace somewhat higher, Which on that side encircles all the hill. These words of his so spurred me on, that I Strained every nerve, behind him scrambling up, Until the circle was beneath my feet.

Thereon ourselves we seated both of us Turned to the East, from which we had ascended, For all men are delighted to look back. To the low shores mine eyes I first directed, Then to the sun uplifted them, and wondered That on the left hand we were smitten by it. The Poet well perceived that I was wholly Bewildered at the chariot of the light, Where 'twixt us and the Aquilon it entered.

Whereon he said to me: "If Castor and Pollux Were in the company of yonder mirror, That up and down conducteth with its light, Thou wouldst behold the zodiac's jagged wheel Revolving still more near unto the Bears, Unless it swerved aside from its old track.

How that may be wouldst thou have power to think, Collected in thyself, imagine Zion Together with this mount on earth to stand, So that they both one sole horizon have, And hemispheres diverse; whereby the road Which Phaeton, alas! knew not to drive, Thou'lt see how of necessity must pass This on one side, when that upon the other, If thine intelligence right clearly heed."

"Truly, my Master," said I, "never yet Saw I so clearly as I now discern, There where my wit appeared incompetent, That the mid-circle of supernal motion, Which in some art is the Equator called, And aye remains between the Sun and Winter, For reason which thou sayest, departeth hence Tow'rds the Septentrion, what time the Hebrews Beheld it tow'rds the region of the heat. But, if it pleaseth thee, I fain would learn How far we have to go; for the hill rises Higher than eyes of mine have power to rise."

And he to me: "This mount is such, that ever At the beginning down below 'tis tiresome, And aye the more one climbs, the less it hurts. Therefore, when it shall seem so pleasant to thee, That going up shall be to thee as easy As going down the current in a boat,

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Then at this pathway's ending thou wilt be; There to repose thy panting breath expect; No more I answer; and this I know for true." And as he finished uttering these words, A voice close by us sounded: "Peradventure Thou wilt have need of sitting down ere that."

At sound thereof each one of us turned round, And saw upon the left hand a great rock, Which neither I nor he before had noticed. Thither we drew; and there were persons there Who in the shadow stood behind the rock, As one through indolence is wont to stand. And one of them, who seemed to me fatigued, Was sitting down, and both his knees embraced, Holding his face low down between them bowed.

"O my sweet Lord," I said, "do turn thine eye On him who shows himself more negligent Then even Sloth herself his sister were." Then he turned round to us, and he gave heed, Just lifting up his eyes above his thigh, And said: "Now go thou up, for thou art valiant."

Then knew I who he was; and the distress, That still a little did my breathing quicken, My going to him hindered not; and after I came to him he hardly raised his head, Saying: "Hast thou seen clearly how the sun O'er thy left shoulder drives his chariot?"

His sluggish attitude and his curt words A little unto laughter moved my lips; Then I began: "Belacqua, I grieve not For thee henceforth; but tell me, wherefore seated In this place art thou? Waitest thou an escort? Or has thy usual habit seized upon thee?"

And he: "O brother, what's the use of climbing? Since to my torment would not let me go The Angel of God, who sitteth at the gate. First heaven must needs so long revolve me round Outside thereof, as in my life it did, Since the good sighs I to the end postponed, Unless, e'er that, some prayer may bring me aid Which rises from a heart that lives in grace; What profit others that in heaven are heard not?"

Meanwhile the Poet was before me mounting, And saying: "Come now; see the sun has touched Meridian, and from the shore the night Covers already with her foot Morocco."