Re: 2A 028 (Jia)

[Teacher1]

The title of this book is 'Wind and Little Rabbit.' Wind looked very mad. Little Rabbit was trying to fall asleep, but was too scared to fall asleep. Little Rabbit bravely asked Wind. But his with its mouth tightly closed, Wind didn't say a word. She Little Rabbit thought she it had made Wind even more upset. She It made a plan. And she The more he it planned, the more his its face turned red. And to practice the plan, The Little Rabbit jump jumped up to the moon in the sky. She It landed on the moon. If she it couldn't see Wind, she it would be safe! And Wind is still wandering around the earth, looking for Little Rabbit.

Score: B-

Tips)

1. Be consistent with pronouns. Use "it" for Little Rabbit throughout the story.
2. Add more details about Little Rabbit's plan to escape Wind.
3. Describe how Little Rabbit felt when it landed on the moon.
4. Explain why Wind was mad at the beginning of the story.
5. Think about how the story might end. Will Little Rabbit and Wind become friends?