I feel some of the colleagues find it difficult to work with me. That's partly because I'm kind of stubborn. In fact, I have always been considered to match to the beat of my own drum. I should have been more considerate of others much earlier. But I guess that's mostly because I have a higher sense of inferiority from not having gone to my own practice and being tied up for survival. My emphasis on the importance of feelings of inferiority is thought to isolate a fundamental element which plays a key role in social interaction. I feel self-confidence is running low when it comes to the opinion of others about me as a whole. I should admit I have something wrong in going along with others. In the first place, I might have acted stuck-up all the way and kind of picky. That's probably why some of my colleagues are unwilling to hang out with me. The way I talk and behave might have irritated them. I'm eagerly begging for their forgiveness now. The real problem is I'm still not well off and I'm still condescending. Having served as the head of treatment center and the executive director of the training programs for long years, I seemed to have thought I have known better than most what the power looks like. But I didn't even recognize it to be already in the process of decaying as soon as I acquired it and how it started to perish my daily lives. Looking back on those days, power is really hard to acquire but it's much harder to exercise. I'm not in the leadership positions any longer. Why do I keep on acting snobbish, then? Probing into the shifting nature of power across a broad range of all my endeavors, I might make eye-opening connections between seemingly distintive phenomena not usually linked. It is evident in every facet of my life that I'm still trying to command respect from persons of all types and hierarchies. It's not funny but serious. How mad am I going to be if I go through the same problems again? In fact, it is one of the defining and not yet fully understood characteristics of my personality. But this is not the only reason why it takes so long for me to be kind of a socialite. One of the biggest reasons might be that I am still likely to seek power to compensate my inferiority complex. I know every human beings have wills to power to stay healthy. This is not the only reason to explain my case. It looks that I have dislike or hatred toward people who don't seem to be loyal to me. Those kinds of strong emotions are not proportional to my expectation. I need to clarify my thinking and put it in the clearest possible languages. Every power is actually decaying on global scene, though. How can I enjoy power at work? I seemed to have particularly enjoyed the power while I'm in charge of residency programs. I had clearly overreached myself. I remember facing big problems in succession with weaker hands thought to be under my control. Actually I'm still finding it harder to defend my redoubts here. I don't think I can produce a fascinating account of the way I came to be snobbish before I know it even when I was brought here. My painful experiences teaches me to keep from staying in power and how precious it is to live a simple and modest life with ordinary people. Now, I'm getting a good feeling about how I'm supposed to live. I need to change everything related to me. I need to change the way I talk, the way I think about politics, and the way I look at the world. The reality is that I'm not being engaged in a demanding job and thus I don't need a power. My greatest wish is for peace between me and colleagues to defend my territory, at least.