05. Another training and podium!

[말레이]

05. Another training and podium!

Until I finished college, there was one thing I had not yet resolved in my life and living. It was that I spent two years after graduating from high school, living in society, and studying at another seminary! And then I studied for four years at college, so my military enlistment issue was delayed. At the age of twenty-six, going to the military as a private seemed like a difficult problem. So I decided to apply for the bachelor's officer program early in my fourth year of college. However, when I actually submitted my application, I realized that other things were for later, and the first hurdle was the physical test. If I failed the physical test due to lack of physical strength, I would have to go home, regardless of the reason. At the time, I went to the 'Samsa-gwan School' in Yeongcheon, Gyeongbuk, and took various physical tests. There were some subjects where I was confident and got full marks, but there were three subjects that were the most difficult for me. The 1.5 km long run that requires a perfect score of 6 minutes, chin-ups that require 13 reps in 1 minute, and sit-ups that require 60 reps in 1 minute were the biggest obstacles for me.

First of all, the long run. Since elementary school, whenever I ran, I had avoided last place and always finished in second place. Of course, I had never been able to finish in under 6 minutes in a long run. But I gritted my teeth. I prayed. Then, at the starting signal, 30 people started at the starting line, and I wondered how college seniors were so weak. As I ran, my colleagues who were being tested fell behind, while I felt like I was running lightly and was running better. It must have been because of my strength. As a result, I finished in 6th place, and when I checked my time, I finished in exactly 6 minutes, which was a perfect score. This was a miracle for me and the greatest honor in my history. Most of the classmates who had come from universities all over the country (well, strictly speaking, they were classmates who had studied together, but since they entered the school late due to their social life, they were all entangled with juniors and older seniors) came in one after another and lay down on the ground saying, “Oh! I must have been drinking and smoking too much. I can’t do it anymore!” Having gained strength and courage from this, I finally arrived at the chin-up section after going through the general events that were not a problem. The officer who was the examiner at the time said, “I will give you as much time as you want, so please do your best until the end.” At first, I thought it was the officer’s boast. Because chin-ups were something that could be done no matter how much time was given. Even if you hung on the bar with perseverance, you would fall after less than two minutes. But strangely enough, those words gave me courage. So I did as the officer said and held on to the bar until I could do 13 reps, and I really got a perfect score. And there was no way to do the remaining crisis, sit-ups. However, God’s grace was upon the guards, and they kept counting numbers loudly without stopping, helping me pass the physical test. In the end, the physical test that combined everything was a miracle. The students who were called by the examiner went home right away, and I felt relieved as I watched them fall like autumn leaves. Then I went back to the physical test. And even after a few days, I had to go to military hospitals again to receive a detailed physical test, and wait for the final results again. However, thankfully, I passed. How happy and moved I was that day!...

So, after graduating from college and having already passed the officer’s exam, I entered the theological research institute run by the church right after graduation in order to save some time until the draft notice came. Here, I met my classmates who had studied at the night school in Cheongpa-dong, and we developed a bond as classmates that I had never known before. After studying like that for a semester, I took a leave of absence to enter the 10th class of cadets at the Yeongcheon Samsa Academy on October 10, 1987.

Every single training at the Academy was special training and extreme training for me.

“You wanted to join the military,

and the military will raise you!”

The welcoming speech given by a general who was the principal of the Samsa Academy at the time during the first lecture still rings in my ears. Before I enlisted in the military, I was 170cm tall and weighed 53kg. As I started training like that, just like the principal’s first instructions, and as I overcame each and every challenge, my physical strength improved day by day. Of course, entering the Academy as a cadet was not the end. It means that being commissioned was not guaranteed. Just like in the movie “An Officer and a Gentleman,” the military, which aims to foster strong officers through intense training, and the old commanders in charge of the mission were very cold and ruthless, and they pushed the candidates back as if they were trying to send them home. I didn’t really like exercising, but I had maintained a light and nimble body until then, and I didn’t realize that I was gradually transforming into an officer as I gained strength. I was someone who was only burning with the goal in front of me and the sense of mission to achieve that goal. I don’t know if it’s still like that, but the reason my eyes shined like the eyes of a poisonous snake was because of the internal conflict of not knowing what to do in various extreme situations and feeling regretful in my soft and easy-going thoughts, and through the training of the candidate course, I was able to organize them into a clear goal and sense of mission, and I was able to solidify my eyes into one that had nothing to fear in the world. This was probably because of a change in my heart. Through such extreme situations, the training and education of this military academy, which produces a ‘strong and confident all-rounder platoon leader!’ pushed away the innocence of my childhood and created a warrior who risked his life to advance toward the destination, the high ground. As the days went by, my eyes began to change into sharp and fierce eyes with a single ray of light shining like the eyes of an eagle that has found its prey. And every action and word was the very definition of determination and coolness. After spending the winter and completing five months of training, I was commissioned as a second lieutenant on February 28, 1988, wearing a diamond that was said to shine 20,000 candles on my head and shoulders. After receiving specific branch training as an infantryman in Gwangju, I was assigned to my company. There were already many rumors among my peers who were completing branch training. Since I applied to be a special forces soldier and was rejected due to physical conditions, I would never apply there myself, and even if I did, I would definitely be rejected due to physical conditions. The problem was the special forces. They say that the special forces also undergo intense training, such as regular thousand-mile marches and parachute training, just like the special forces, but the problem was that the officers who would go to the special forces were randomly selected by a computer and assigned to their units. Surely the special forces were small in number and the regular army units were so many, so I wouldn’t really be rejected by the special forces? I was just anxiously waiting for the announcement from the commander, as if I was waiting for the results after taking an exam. Unlike the commanders from my days as a cadet, the commanders of the Sangmu Corps treated the trainees who were receiving branch training very gentlemanly as fellow officers who had already been commissioned, and this training would soon be over. With a week left until the unit assignment, it was finally time for the platoon commander to announce the unit I would be assigned to. The platoon commander called my military number and name and told me which unit I would be transferred to. The cheers and shouts of satisfaction from my fellow comrades who had their names called first were heard here and there. Finally, my military number and name were called. The moment I had been anxiously waiting for! It must be a regular unit! I thought to myself, but then I heard the unit name, “203 Special Forces!” out of the blue. Ah! How could such a strong unit be given to a weakling like me? I felt like the military had made a mistake in judgment, and I began to hate the platoon commander who had notified me of my unit assignment. However, the decision was not made by the military. It was just that the computer had been programmed to randomly assign me, and the computer had simply assigned me. After a week of vacation, I went to my platoon and reported to my unit, and my life in the unit was an important mission for me, and training the special forces soldiers was definitely difficult for me, who was physically weak. However, the assigned mission and the strong spirit to carry it out were already centered. Therefore, as I was actually leading the unit members and was involved in the Olympic operation and various large and small operations and training to build up combat power, I was able to naturally cultivate my command and control ability, and all the worries I had while receiving military training were groundless. It was also a place where people lived, and it was something that any soldier could handle. Also, as long as my sense of duty and responsibility for the country and mission rested on my shoulders, I was able to handle everything and move forward. If the process of being a cadet was a process of unconditionally developing strength, then actually commanding the unit members was a period of studying both strength and gentleness, and while as a cadet, I only learned to learn weapons, tactics and strategies, and how to utilize objects, then in the unit, I learned how to relate to people while commanding. And while directly commanding and controlling the strong unit members, I was also physically trained to that extent, and above all, I think the change in my thinking that I had to thoroughly learn and handle the responsibility for the special mission given to me was an important growth for me.

In this way, through my military life, what remained for me was the actual facts about everything! More importantly, I came to have a perspective on what is true and what is right and wrong! In my relationships with others, mistakes and errors were forgiven and understood, so even if there was a problem, if the other person acknowledged or admitted it as it was, I would forgive the mistake, but if they tried to hide it or make excuses, I would have a tendency and thinking to thoroughly investigate it. In this way of thinking, which can be called the military way of thinking, the part where I had to cultivate forgiveness in the thought that facts, truth, and truth are important in my lifestyle remained as a task. And this too, through much trial and error in the field of ministry and mission, I was able to grow little by little in the power of understanding and forgiveness, which was truly fortunate. And after completing my military service of 3 years and 5 months, which was the longest period of mandatory service since the founding of the Republic of Korea Army, I felt relieved on the one hand because it felt like I was escaping from some heavy bondage, but on the other hand, I left my unit and comrades behind and returned to my original living space. After completing my military service, I thought that I should no longer depend on my older sister and cause her difficulties, so I married my wife, whom I had been dating, and started a family and started living independently. And when I returned to school, I diligently studied. I wish I had studied this hard in elementary, middle, and high school. But it seems that everyone has their own time. Isn’t theology the most basic and important subject for pastoral and missionary work? When I thought about it like that, the hour-long lectures didn’t seem ordinary. So I really focused on the lecture, staring at the professor’s head. And even my perspective on a single blade of grass and people in nature gradually changed.