This is my testimony and praise

[瑤翰 김요한]

This is my testimony and praise

1. There was a time when I drove with tears blurring my vision while singing the song, "The blood of my Lord is pure and clean."

I was deeply moved by the mere fact that our Lord Jesus Christ had come to find me.

Even if that salvation were to turn out to be a failure, the fact that He had come to find me was enough to move me.

I thought that various visions, dreams, miracles that appeared during prayer, and so on, were the entirety of faith.

Then, finally, my ugly inner self began to become visible, and I started a fierce battle as I turned inward.

Although I believe that it was already predetermined in my mother's womb—or rather, before the creation of the world—I felt that unknown, dark, and dirty presence within me. I tore at my face in frustration, wondering if fasting for 40 days would resolve the issue, but I almost died right then.

2. Hearing that while the Bible is the written word, there is a living word, I wandered the whole world in search of that word of life.

Eventually, I discover that the Gospel of John is Christ, the living Word.

However, because the Gospel of John was like a code, I could not understand it. Then, while studying the Book of Romans, I discovered the fact that I, who had been under sin and death in Adam, had been transferred into Christ.

Through this, I finally realized that I am a born-again believer and have obtained freedom from sin and death through the law of the Spirit of life in Christ.

The cry I shouted at that time was the hymn, "Rejoicing and leaping in glory, I am born again."

It was a great joy that came 25 years after I first believed in Jesus.

At that time, having known how to be yoked together with Jesus Christ, and through the mysterious transaction in which the life of Jesus manifested in my body by bearing the death of Jesus, I unhesitatingly witnessed the Word to many people and laid my hands on them in prayer.

It is only natural that many miracles and wonders occurred.

3. Mistakenly believing that this was the pinnacle of faith, I spent nearly 20 years skimming the overview of Hebrews and living like a tourist gazing at the throne of God's grace in a superficial manner.

However, I discovered that the Lord's words in John 14–17 remained only vague and were not imprinted in my heart like a seal, like a well-engraved pattern.

I was also startled to realize that my longing for it was not the same as before.

It is because I thought it was done.

Although I write and send messages to the members every morning, on some days I find myself extremely thirsty, and I become deeply discouraged by the disconnect with the Word and my own absurdity.

It feels like walking through a wilderness of flat limestone.

Even amidst this, I maintained the habit of meditating on John 1–17, Romans 1–8, Hebrews 1–10, and the entire Bible as if viewing a folding screen.

Ultimately, that was God's providence.

He caused me to have that zeal.

Then, I came to a faith that knew the fact that the Lord Christ seated me with him in heaven and gave me spiritual structures and tools as gifts to follow him.

The revelation was one-time, gradual, and very slow—as if eternal—but He gradually awakened me.

4. In the distant past, I wept over the blood of Jesus, Jesus hanging on the cross, and the grace of the Lord who so earnestly desired to come and give me life. But from a certain day on, through faith believing that I am in Him and He is in me, I feel Him through my spirit, and the stirring of life appears in prayer and meditation.

Finally, the Lord’s words, “You shall live through me,” are fulfilled.

Through tribulation, I bowed before his word with patience, and through refinement in the valley of the shadow of death, Christ, who is the image of God, dwells within me; thus, a living hope arises for the five beatitudes of Genesis 1.

Consequently, moving from a position where I believed the Holy Spirit was merely a spiritual gift, a sign, or a powerful influence, I have come to realize that the Holy Spirit is the One who makes the truth known, enabling me to always commemorate the Holy Communion where I become one with the Lord, the King of the Kingdom of Glory.

Thus, David’s faith in Acts chapter 2, which I had previously taken for granted, has been re-examined.

I now realize that I have finally reached the pinnacle of my faith, having come to understand that David’s faith—which had been buried in the events of the early church—is the very faith spoken of by the Lord.

Now, truly found as one standing with the Lamb on Mount Zion, I have become an extrovert, even though my body walks on the earth; receiving the secrets within the beginning through Christ, I know that the word of the Lord, who is 'Bar-Yomel Elohim' within the Triune God, is spoken by the Holy Spirit as the voice of the Son at the end of all these days. My spirit approaches the face of the Lord at all times, and my final desire is to become the embodiment of love, the portrait of the Lord, through whom the Lord appears.

I wish to scatter the Gospel as far and wide as possible.

Everything is the grace of the Lord and the great mercy of God.

It came from the Lord, and through the Lord, its glory will return to the Lord.

God is the One who ought to receive praise. Hallelujah, glory to the Lord, Allelujah, praise to the Lord!!

Written by Pastor YOHAN KIM 

Translated by Missionary Sookyung Chung 

COME AND SEE WORLD MISSION 

TO GOD BE THE GLORY See